Ira Daily

My Father's Passing

2010-01-03T08:46:00.000-08:00

My father died Oct. 18 2009. He was 97. In one sense there is sadness in his passing but for the most part my family, especially my sister and mother, were relieved of the burden of watching him suffer. He had a good life, a very good life. It was only in the last two years and mostly in the three months leading to his death that he lost his spirit to live and wasn't happy. I'm sure anyone would be more than satisfied with over 90 years of health and happiness.

I didn't fully appreciate my father until I was 45 and he was 80. I remember the moment it hit me that I wasn't going to change his thinking and that I needed to accept him as he was. It was from then on that I began to see his positive qualities. There are those who would attribute his longevity to genetic factors. I'm sure that his biological machine did have an effect on his long life. But his emphasis on moderation in all things, watching his weight, daily exercise, positive thinking and most of all trying to improve himself each day were all influential on the quality and length of his life.

I had been preparing myself for the last six months to write this blog about the death of my father. My initial thoughts were that I would take the lead from Camus who started his novel, THE STRANGER , "my mother died today". However I have not written my blog for a number of months so this was not appropriate. Mostly though, the impetus for Camus' opening line and the point of view of his book was the expression of his existential philosophy. What Camus believed was that life had no ultimate meaning except for the enjoyment and awareness of the moment. Although, I cannot say that I know life's purpose I have not given up on the possibility that there is a bigger picture that I have not yet discovered.

There was a time in my life when my philosphical leanings were existential, when it seemed to me that life was basically absurd and that what was important was to make the best of it. Although my father was not a religious man and did not believe in God or in life after death he did have a spiritual side which sustained and nurtured him. It was his belief in the importance of self development and living each day with the goal of taking care of yourself and being kind to others, especially his wife and family that I believe was instrumental in creating the positive and productive life he lived.

There was meaning to my father's life. The existential philosophy would not apply to him. As his son, and as different as I have been in many of my thoughts and actions, I cannot deny the respect that he had from all those who came to know him and the success he had in navigating life's difficulties. This has impacted me greatly. It is really a gift I have been given. I want to thank my father for this gift. I would like to pass it down to my children, my family, my friends, and to any one else who is concerned about the dificult conditions we are facing in today's world.

The Return of Michael Vick

2009-08-14T08:53:00.000-07:00

The Eagles signed Michael Vick. Wow! The amount of controversy this has created is unbelievable. I have been listening to the radio to hear some of the thinking surrounding this issue. Quite a few callers are outraged: How can a man who has done such a cruel and inhumane thing be given another chance? Callers have threatened to never go to another Eagles game. Some have gone so far as say they will become New York Giants fans.

More than anything this is an interesting perspective on our culture. I question whether or not this subject deserves the amount of attention it is given. It seems that there are much more important matters to ponder than whether or not Michael Vick should be allowed to play football. I mean, the President of the United States lied about having sex with a young girl in the white house and was allowed to keep his job. Football is a violent sport. It does not require great sensitivity or intellectual strength. Football players are trained from a young age to focus their violence and anger on the opposition. It should not be surprising when they make poor decisions in real life.And, Michael Vick spent two years in jail paying for his mistake. He lost millions of dollars. There is no law against him going back to a job that requires a competitive and aggressive attitude.

I personally do not have a strong opinion about whether Michael Vick plays for the Eagles or not. If he can help them win, I favor his playing. What aggravates me is the degree of anger and outrage that people have towards this decision. I just can't understand how anyone can be so positive that this decision is anti-American, anti-life, anti-goodness, and represents everything that is wrong with our world. I mean, sure he did a bad thing, but how can you be sure that he doesn't deserve a second chance? How can you judge someone so harshly, even though he has paid a big price and appears to be repentant for his actions.

I love sports. On one level I know that it is not as important as I make it. But, in a confusing world it is one of the few areas where there are clear cut choices and decisions. One of its attractions is that it is a way to escape from the problems and struggles of ordinary life. I don't mind any arguments or discussions that concern the intricacies of strategies or the relative strengths and weaknesses of players and teams. I consider this fun. I'm not thrilled, though when people use sports as a platform for the promotion of other agendas and viewpoints. It seems like it takes the fun out of it. I'd love to see the Eagles win the Super Bowl and Michael Vick score the winning touchdown. I'm sure this will end all the controversy.

The Passing of Cousin Marvin

2009-08-12T20:36:00.000-07:00

My mother just called me to tell me that my cousin Marvin will be dead tonight. They had just pulled the plugs that were keeping him alive . Although he was still breathing, she said he would be dead before the night was over. This was not a surprise. He fell down a couple of days ago, hit his head, was rushed to the hospital, and had been in a coma with no chance of recovery since the accident. It was his wish that he not be kept alive if he could not live normally.

I loved and respected my cousin. He was an inspiration to me when I was young. He was idolized by my father who considered Marvin one of the smartest guys in America. The story in our family was that he had the fourth highest IQ of any soldier in World War II. He was a lawyer, a movie producer, and ultimately a college professor. He introduced me to Clarence Darrow, one his heroes who ultimately became one of mine. He seemed to know everything about history, politics, and literature, and was a great story teller with literally thousands of stories. He could talk, and usually did for hours, about his time in Japan after the War, his days as an entertainment lawyer, and what it was like growing up in my family during the depression in Newark New Jersey.

He told me about my Uncle Izzy who was a gambler and street person and was always surrounded by beautiful women until he died at age 100. He spoke of my Aunt Fanny who also lived to a 100 Marvin's mother, my Aunt Pauline died at 102. Marvin was only 85 when he died, but he was active until the last day of his life. One of his problems and one of his strengths was that he never complained no matter what was bothering him physically or emotionally. He fell because he did not take his walker with him to a restaurant he was going to with a friend. He felt he was OK and didn't need it. He was the youngest 85 year old person you could possibly know, mainly because he never accepted that he was old.

One of the things that interested me most about him was that he was an atheist who did not consider the existence of God as even possible. Yet he was constantly reading and studying books about Judaism and his best friends were a female congregational minister, and a Muslim women who followed the teachings of the Aga Khan. His second wife who died before him, was a religious Catholic from the Phillipines. For many years with his wife and later with his friends he attended Church on a regular basis. When I questioned him about it he said it was no big deal, although I suspected that he was a little more open than he admitted.

He was a true intellectual, a student and a teacher. Most of those who knew him marvelled at his wealth of knowledge and his unlimited stories. As smart as he was though, and he was really smart he seemed to lose all of his logic when it came to gambling. For the last twenty years of his life, what he primarily wanted to talk to me about were his gambling theories. For the past five years he had been working on a baseball betting system that he believed would make him and me rich. He would call me every few days with an update on his results. He bet every game every day. He spent a couple of days a week at OTB betting the ponies. He actually gave me a tip last year on a horse that won at 9-1. I shared it with my friend Marty who won $1500.00 on the race and was every grateful to Cousin Marvin.

For some reason, I'm not sad at his passing. He had a tough life in many ways but was able to deal with all kinds of problems and bounce back from many different setbacks. He was optimistic and seemed to enjoy himself up until his last days. I guess you can't ask for much more.

Hitting the Bad Beat Jackpot

2009-08-09T09:23:00.000-07:00

I've been playing poker on the internet approximately 20 hours per week for three years. I play an average of 100 hands per hours or 2000 per week. That's 104,000 hands per year or over 300,000 hands in three years. One of the reasons I play is to win the Bad Beat Jackpot. The jackpot is hit approximately once very 300,00 hands. The question is whether or not, because I have played over 300,000 hands, am I due to hit the jackpot.

This is a mathematical question regarding probability theory. The academic mathematical view would be that the fact I have not hit the Bad Beat in 300,000 hands does not affect the probability for future hands. In other words on every hand I am a 300,000-1 shot. Although I might be a little out of control in this area, I don't think I agree with this. It seems logical to me that if the laws of probability are going to hold up, they have to equalize the situation at some point. If you flip a coin and it lands on heads twenty times in a row, at some point in the future more tails are going to have to come up to make it 50-50 heads vs tails. Although it also might be true that more tails came up in the past and this is equalizing the 20 heads.

I got a letter from my insurance company stating that that there is a 26% chance that my house will be completely flooded one time in thirty years, the life of the mortgage. Does that mean that every year it doesn't flood there is a greater chance it will flood in the next year? If it doesn't flood for 25 years should I be concerned that there is a high probability it will flood in the next five years. Mathematically, the answer is no, unless weather patterns have changed.

One of the ways to look at reality is through mathematics. Every event that you can imagine has a probability of occurrence attached to it. There is a probability that you will find your soul mate in the next 30 days. There is a probability that you will find an attache case filled with hundred dollar bills. There is also a probability that you will be struck by lightning or get a parking ticket. There is a probability that you will be laid off or that you will find a new job. Every event that can possibly happen has a probability of happening.

Can you influence the probability of an occurrence with your mind? Can you increase its probability or liklihood through your thoughts? If you can than there is a reality that is higher than mathematics. It is this reality that is at the core of most spiritual and religious beliefs. It is this reality that we are just beginning to understand scientifically. It is this reality that I believe will enable me to hit the Bad Beat. I think I better get back to poker before I miss my chance.

Questionable Benefits of Chaos

2009-08-06T20:50:00.000-07:00

My life has been a little hectic lately. Not that I mind. I thrive on chaos. I actually specialize in creating confusion and mayhem. I used to do it naturally without even thinking. This changed though when I became involved in the Fourth Way. This is a teaching whose basic principle is that we are very mechanical in our actions and thoughts. We need to break through the chains of our habits if we want to develop ourselves and become more conscious. When I started studying this philosophy I interpreted this to mean that any actions that create discomfort and change are good. Chaos was actually a preferred state. I embraced this wholeheartedly. My tendency to create upheaval was no longer a liability. I could now do it and rationalize that it was helping everyone around me.

Sometimes though it gets a little out of hand. I think this is what's going on in my life now. First of all we have had guests at our house nonstop. This is not necessarily bad. Matter of fact we bought our beach house so that people would want to come and visit us. We figured it would be a way that we could attract our kids and grandkids. The problem is that we did not realize how much effort it takes to constantly entertain We also did not expect the amount of people that would be coming and the length of time they would be staying.

My daughter has been down three times in the last six weeks. Each time she has called to tell me she would be coming down with a friend to relax. Each time she showed up with a minimum of four friends and each time within 24 hours at least 2-3 additional friends or their boy friends showed up. For the most part they behaved reasonably except they were up all night, usually getting to bed by 6 am and sleeping most of the day. Plus most of them smoke. I love my daughter and enjoy spending time with her and really don't want to limit her enjoyment and feeling that this is her house also.

My friend Marty visited us also a couple of weeks ago. He stayed eight days. I love being with him and arguing about politics and life but after a while it does wear me down. He smokes two packs a day, talks non-stop in an extremely loud voice, and is constantly critical of me. I still felt badly when he left.

My step-daughter in law and her sister showed up a few days ago, Both darling girls. They decided they wanted to go out at night and asked us if we would watch our grandson. They said he would be no problem. He had just been fed, diaper changed and was expected to sleep the night. They went out around 11:30. At 11:45 he was up and crying. He cried for over an hour straight. He then seemed to get a burst of energy and was crawling all over, getting into one dangerous situation after another. My wife and I were exhausted. It was 2:00 in the morning. Our normal bedtime is 10:00. This is what grandparents do, though. Plus our daughter-in-law doesn't have it easy and deserves a break whenever she can get it.

Although I am effected by all this activity, it is my wife who bears the brunt of it. She feels compelled to keep the house neat and make sure everyone is fed and enjoying themselves. Last night was the first night in a while there was no one here. She went to bed early to catch up on some much needed sleep. I stayed downstairs to catch up on episodes of Entourage and True Blood.

When I finally decided to go to bed I couldn't find the remote. I literally spent 45 minutes looking for it. Finally, since I did not know how to turn off the tv, I went upstairs to ask for my wife's help. I had to wake her up. Her first comment was, "your're a moron." I didn't take it personally. She did go downstairs and found the remote in some hidden, almost invisible part of the chair, although she probably would say it was more obviously visible.

My theory of the benefits of chaos is being tested now. I may have to moderate it somewhat.

Humility and Communication

2009-08-04T09:12:00.000-07:00

It is very difficult to communicate ideas effectively. It is especially difficult to communicate to an audience that disagrees with you from the get-go. How can you communicate to a group of fundamentalist Christians the theory of evolution in a way that will be accepted? How can you communicate to a Pro-Choice group the evils of abortion in a way that will impact their attitudes. What about capital punishment? Is there a way to present to supporters of capital punishment a sound case for its elimination?

Communication in all cases is a challenge. When you are speaking to a hostile audience you need to be especially creative. First of all, you cannot rely only on facts. Facts are always suspect. The only time people will accept your facts without question is when they already agree with you. Secondly you need to recognize that whatever you believe to be true may not be true. How can you expect your opponents to have an open mind to a new way of seeing something when you yourself are fixed in your viewpoint? The acknowledgement, at least to yourself, that your viewpoint may not be entirely correct creates the possibility that your listener can at least begin to identify with your flexibility and willingness to see their viewpoint.

We are living in a difficult time. We are faced with major challenges in regard to potential nuclear war, economic globalization, environmental upheaval, and accelerating technological and scientific advancement. We will not be able to hold back the tide of change. We need to figure out how to move ahead and communicate with each other in a spirit of cooperation. We need to learn to accept views that are opposed to our own and communicate our views in a way that will not create resistance but will break down barriers.

In the political realm rhetoric and charisma need to be replaced by wisdom and humility. Socrates said, "The only true wisdom is knowing you know nothing." This is a great starting point for any attempt to make real change in our world and deal with the multitude of challenges that face us today.

Theoretical physics is beginning to create a more detailed description of our world as one in which the reality that we see is not exactly what it seems to be and is mostly a creation of our consciousness. The theories and research of our scientists, the creative output of our poets, artists, musicians, filmmakers, and philosophers, have always led the way in our evolution as a species and the development of our society.

We need to be sensitive to the thinking of those who are not constrained by the past and who have the courage to express their vision of the future. As the Dalai Llama, the leader of a three thousand year old religion says, "If the theory of physics disproves the ideas of Buddhism, we need to change Buddhism." This is a good thought from a smart guy. We should listen and modify our communication to be more in tune with the realization that we might not be always right.

Thoughts on Creation

2009-07-31T12:10:00.001-07:00

I was thinking about Creation today. I had recently read some material about Creation in a book about the Kaballah that seemed to make a lot of sense. I decided to Google creation myths and see what I could learn. There were only 1,920,000 entries. I read a few and then realized that if I read them all or even a small part of them I would have no time to do anything else. Let me recount some of the things that stood out.

1-There are an incredible amount of creation myths. Every tradition, every tribe in North America and Africa, every religion, every culture, and thousands of individuals have attempted to explain how we got here.

2-Those that are responsible for these myths do not believe they are myths. They believe they are sacred accounts or revealed wisdom that are accurate descriptions of the Creation. I'm sure that the originators of all these Creation stories did not believe they were literal. Some probably viewed them as the best possible way to explain a process that could not be explained by words alone, but needed to be contemplated or studied to get the deeper meaning.

3-There seems to be three general categories plus the scientific view. The first category views Creation as a process of something coming from nothing (ex nihilo if you are interested). This can be seen in the Judaeo-Christian-Islamic view of God creating the heavens and earth. There is no mention of who created God or where he came from.

The second category explains Creation as process through which God or some other supernatural being rearranged a substance like water or an animal or energy or formless matter into the world as we know it. This type of thought is usually found in the beliefs of the American Indian or African tribes. The Masai from Africa, for example, believe that humanity was fashioned from a single tree which split into three. The Iroquois and Cherokee believe that in the beginning on the earth there was just water. There were creatures in the sky though, who came down and settled the earth. There are many creation stories that describe beings or entities from the sky descending down to the earth to begin life on this planet.

The third category believes that there was no starting point. The universe is eternal, no beginning or end. The Mormons believe that there is no starting point, that all physical reality has always existed. This idea solves the problem of when did everything begin and what came before the creation but doesn't satisfactorily answer how did it happen or why did it happen.

The Kabbalistic view that interested me is that before the actual creation all that existed was pure energy or light. This light always existed. The light had a consciousness to it or you might say it was pure consciousness. The light wanted to share itself which in one sense does makes sense. If you were pure consciousness and by yourself you might want something else to share what you have or to keep you company. The light created a vessel that it could fill with its light.

The vessel could only receive the light. It could not return anything to the light. This seemed a little unfair to the vessel. The vessel wanted to share also. It had nothing to share with. The vessel decided that in order for it to share it had to restrict the light. It had to separate itself from the light. This act of restriction, according to Kaballah is what caused the creation of our universe. The vessel broke into two parts. Each part contained all female souls and all male souls.

Now that I have written this and read it back to myself it doesn't seem to make as much sense as it originally did. I think I like the views of the Buddha better. When asked how was the universe created the Buddha replied that this was not a good question. We don't know. We can't know and there are better ways to spend your time than thinking about this subject. This seems to make the most sense to me.

Meeting with My Teacher

2009-07-30T17:49:00.001-07:00

Once every few months for the past 27 years I have been meeting with a group at a restaurant at 9th Ave. and 23rd St. in Manhattan. I started going with my first wife. I now go with my second wife. We sometimes meet my first wife there. The group is led by a women, a former psychologist in the New York City school sysem. We discuss philosophy and spiritual issues. After lunch we take a walk, go to a museum or art exhibit, and then we go to dinner where we continue our discussion.

I look forward to these days. Our discussions are very motivating and energizing to me even though I often do not understand what is being said. I have brought a number of friends with me over the years to introduce them to the group and try to get some feedback regarding the quality of the information and the ideas that are presented. I am curious about what others think because I have never been sure whether or not these discussions are crazy or extremely valuable. I must admit that at this point I feel they are valuable, although most of the people I have brought with me are not as convinced. Matter of fact, 99 per cent of people would have no interest in these conversations or think that our teacher was totally whacked out.

We probably spend four to five hours or more talking about the nature of reality. Sometimes we discuss the problems or issues of one of the group members, although personal matters are usually discussed in private with the teacher. Over the years she has given me excellent guidance in regard to business, relationships, and child-rearing . Her advice is extremely practical, straightforward, and in my mind have exemplified an excellent intutitive sense about people and life situations. All of our group value her opinions about ordinary life and have benefitted greatly from her recommendations. I would say we are fortunate to know her. She never charges or requires payment for any of her teaching or guidance although lately we have been chipping in to pay for her meals.

In regard to her spiritual thoughts, this is a little more confusing. She makes a distinction between ordinary life which she calls "the horizontal" and spiritual work which she calls the "vertical". In her opinion what happens in "the horizontal", what happens in our ordinary life is influenced by the "vertical". Matter of fact, our ordinary life is not at all what we think it is and its sole purpose is to serve the "vertical".

The "vertical" or spiritual world is ruled by a hierarchy. This hierarchy consisits of seven separate ashrams or schools. Each school is ruled by an avatar and is responsible for a specific energy. The ashrams work together to help maintain our planet and our universe. When we work on ourselves, when we strive to become more conscious, we are aligning ourselves with the vertical and usually with a specific ashram or sub-ashram.

I'm not sure how much more I should reveal about this teaching, or whether I have revealed too much, or even whether what I have revealed is true or makes any sense. What I will say is that after 27 years of very long conversations I have been given an incredible amount of information. It has affected my thinking and subtly influences the tone and ideas of my blogs. I will have to talk to my teacher and ask her what she thinks.

Thoughts on Meditation

2009-07-22T07:48:00.000-07:00

Someone who read my blog asked me a question about meditation. I think I'll use today's blog to give some of my thoughts on this subject. First of all, from my experience, meditation is very useful. I believe meditation saved my life.

I was in a car accident. A volkwagon bug I was driving was broadsided, although it probably was my fault since I pulled out into a four lane highway without paying full attention. Unfortunately, meditation didn't help my driving. I have a vague recollection of being in an ambulance on the way to the hospital. What I remember is that I was repeating my mantra while I was unconscious. After surgery, that removed my spleen, the doctor visited me in the intensive care unit to see how I was doing. He told me that I was very lucky. It seems that I had not lost as much blood as the degree of my injury would have indicated.

Meditation slows down your heart rate, breathing, and blood flow. I believe that after I had been hit I automatically slipped into my meditation mode. I think that this helped reduce my blood loss and saved my life. I really believe it. Why would I have automatically started meditating at this crucial moment? Maybe some self-preservation instinct kicked in. I'm not positive, but I always was thankful that I had been meditating at this time in my life.

There are definite scientifically proven physical, psychological, and spiritual benefits from meditation. Plus, when you meditate you begin to actually experience a state of being that is a doorway towards a new level of consciousness. What was once theoretical and a topic for discussion becomes tangible. There is a big difference between reading, studying, and talking about spiritual work and doing it.

I meditated twice a day for twenty minutes for ten years. I hardly missed a day. It drove my wife crazy because no matter where I was or what I was doing I would take time out to meditate. This is the most important part of meditation, the discipline to do it for an extended period of time.

Meditation is not complicated. There is nothing especially difficult about doing it one time. It is difficult to do it conscientiously every day for years and years. There are those who make it sound like it is an inaccessible practice available for the holy of the holy. This is not true. Anyone can learn to meditate in five minutes.

There are different forms of meditation. If you are serious about learning meditation, I would recommend learning Transcendental Meditation. This is very simple and easily accessible. All the religious accoutrements that may be attached to it are irrelevant. Matter of fact, check out http://mentalhealth.about.com/cs/stressmanagement/a/relresp.htm to get the basic principles of TM.

Other good sources for learning about meditation are anything by Joel Goldsmith, especially "The Art of Meditation" and the "The Infinite Way." Chapter two in "Kaballah and Jewish Mysticism" by Perle Besserman may also be helpful.

I have taught the basic principles of meditation to many people throughout my life.
The only one who actually used them was my father who is an atheist and doesn't beliieve in anything mystical. Meditation is not a serious thing. It is not a heavy thing meant for those who are spiritual or religious. It is a practical tool for those who want to enjoy life, have more energy, like to travel (to different physical and mental places), and are willing to put some effort into self development. I would recommend it highly.

Who Can We Trust

2009-07-20T08:33:00.000-07:00

The stock market boomed yesterday. The Dow was up 250 points. The stated reasons were the better than expected earnings from Goldman Sachs and Intel and the overall sense that the economy was improving. While this was happening Chief Justice nominee Sotomayor was being grilled about her opinions on abortion. She refused to give a straight answer. I don't blame her. Most people respect the analysts who comment on the rise of the stock market but are skeptical of Sotomayor who was hesitant about stating her opinions.

We live in a society in which having an uneducated or biased opinion is considered better than admitting that you don't know. The way you present yourself is much more important than what you have to say. Dressing for success qualifies you as knowledgeable. Having money especially signifies that what you say is valuable. Most of us won't admit how much we are influenced by financial success and attractive appearances. The consequences of this are that we elect good looking, wealthy politicians to most of the important positions in our country. Fortune 500 companies are run by tall, good looking, smooth talking, well groomed, Ivy League graduates.

I'm not sure if this was the case before television. Abraham Lincoln was not known for his looks. I don't think Benjamin Franklin was especially dapper or rich. John Adams was on the short side. Teddy Roosevelt, if I remember wasn't especially handsome. Neither was Herbert Hoover or William Howard Taft. In the post TV era though we had presidents with movie star looks, Kennedy, Reagan, and Clinton. The Bushs' had old money and connections.

It doesn't seem that we are going to be able to solve our problems until we put a greater emphasis on intelligence and especially wisdom. We need leaders who actually can think and are willing to admit weakness. Obama is a charismatic character with a good looking wife, cute kids, and a pleasing appearance. He, at least, has a sense of humor and seems willing to show humility.
The big question is whether or not he will have the courage to recognize when he makes mistakes and be able to correct them before they cause too much damage. I also wonder whether he will be able to see the degree to which government controlled businesses and projects are wasteful and inefficient.

It is one thing to have a good idea with a worthwhile goal. It is another to execute successfully. From what I have personally seen in the mortgage modification programs, the small business programs, and the energy conservation initiatives, things are way out of control. It is going to take a major effort to get them back on track. I find myself in a difficult position. I feel those who criticize Obama are not objective but neither are those who support him. I want to believe that Obama can make a difference but I have not yet seen any evidence that he has what it takes.

Beware of Experts Especially Yourself

2009-07-19T09:16:00.000-07:00

It is always interesting to me to observe people who think they know. They speak as if they are experts about matters that are oftentimes subjective or more complex than they realize. Politics and sports are two subjects that come to mind. Walk into any bar or drive in a taxi in any large city and you will get opinions cloaked as irrefutable truths about why Obama's stimulus plan is ruining the country or why A-Rod isn't really a great hitter and hurts the Yankees.

There is no shortage of so-called experts on abortion rights, what is best for Israel, how to handle terrorism, health care reform, proper nutrition, investment strategies, and how to deal with men or women in relationships. There are those who are very accomplished at appearing to have deeply considered whatever viewpoint they are expressing. There are others who express their opinion with an impressive passion and conviction that is quite captivating. Matter of fact, I have always had an attraction for fanatics, whatever their belief, as long as it does not promote violence.

Unfortunately it is rare to find someone who really does know and is worth listening to. For the most part we must settle for not being bored or if we are lucky entertained by someone pretending or maybe even sincerely believing that what they are saying is the "god's honest truth."

When we do find someone that actually does know something of value we should consider ourselves fortunate and take advantage of it. I want to emphasizie that finding a "real" teacher or someone who has a deeper insight into any subject is not the same as reading something in a book or on the internet. Direct communication from someone who really knows is a gift that should not be taken lightly. I remember wanting to learn about juggling, I practiced and practiced and read whatever information I could find. I luckily met a guy from Israel who could juggle seven objects, unf--kenbelievable, who spent a few minutes giving me some pointers. It really made a different in my progress.

I've met a few people in my life who have had an impact on me, who have taught me something that has made a difference in my life. I am always on the lookout for anyone who really knows anything. I have found that they appear in unexpected situations and that you can't be overly judgemental when you meet someone who looks or acts a little strange. Two of the most influential people I have ever met seemed like street bums when I first saw them. Also, anyone who has real knowledge of any subject usually is not conventional. They have no interest in conforming or impressing anyone with what they know. To really know something in depth requires a level of commitment and focus that doesn't allow for wasting time on appearances.

We can't always seek out those who really know. They are often hidden. What we can do is be discriminating and not accept as true what we hear in ordinary life from "so called" experts. More importantly what we can do is not pretend that we really know or be under the illusion that our opinions or beliefs are truth. This is more difficult than it seems but it prepares us to be more open to real truth when it finds us.

Should We Take Life Seriously?

2009-07-18T11:20:00.000-07:00

From my point of view it's not a good idea to take anything too seriously. I'm very serious about this. Consider these facts. All physical matter in the universe is made up of atoms. Atoms are 99.99% empty space. If you condense all the real matter of, say, an average kitchen table by removing all the empty space, it would be invisible to the naked eye. I read once that all the matter on the planet earth could be condensed into a basketball.

What gives objects the illusion of solidity is that the atoms that compose them are traveling very fast. They appear to be everywhere at once, like the rotors of a fan. When the rotors of a fan spin very fast they create the illusion of a solid sphere. Our entire world is an illusion created by our five senses to enable us to survive and communicate. In reality, we are living in a world of infinitesimally small objects traveling at incredible speeds. The world in which we live is in reality a creation of our minds, a construct of our consciousness.

Those that believe in a supreme being feel that our purpose is connected to whatever it is that this supreme being had in mind for us, his creation. Those that take a more scientific point of view do not attribute any grand purpose to mankind. They are not sure whether or not there is any reason for our existence other than survival and growth. Neither of these points of view is very convincing. The meaning and purpose of life (MAPOL) remains a mystery to me.

What does make sense, although it is very hard to understand the mechanism through which it operates, is that we create our own reality. Thoughts are things. Thoughts, through some unknown process, cause the reality of our world to exist. It is only because of our processing of electrical impulses and transforming them into images that matter and substance take the forms that are so familiar to us.

When you think about this, if you care to waste your time on such matters, you begin to see the world and your life a little differently. It is very encouraging to believe that you can create the life you want through transforming your thoughts into physical reality. In order to do this you need to be able to focus and visualize. You need to be able to be present in the moment and not be daydreaming about the past or future. This is why the root of all "real" spiritual traditions is meditation or prayer. These are not ways to connect to God. They are exercises that train your mind to be capable of proactively impacting your reality.

What is concerning, though, is that the world that we live in is a result of the collective thoughts or consciousness of everything that produces thought and consciousness. It might be that there are influences greater than man in this process. It may be that we have more control or less control than we imagine. We don't really know how much impact we have. We continue, though, to live our lives as if we are in soap operas taking everything that happens personally and seriously. I don't think that's such a good idea. There are much more enjoyable ways to live our lives.

Dostoevsky, Roulette, and Visualization

2009-07-12T07:38:00.000-07:00

I've always had respect for Fyodor Dostoevsky He was a brilliant writer and a deep thinker. His "Notes from the Underground" is an especially powerful insight into the mind of man and the causes of suffering. What has attracted me to Dostevsky and especially this book is that his thinking is multidimensional. He simultaneously sees that man is out of control but also capable of great courage and nobility. He rejects materialism but does not see spiritualism as the answer for man He is above all, a pragmatist. He tries to see life for what it is, not what it could or should be.

Dostoevsky was a sick gambler. He constantly lost all his money and lived his life in debt, struggling and writing under the most difficult conditions. What interested me about his gambling was his belief that although the laws of probability in the long run will bury you, there are times when these laws are suspended. There are moments where the world does not behave as it should. It is in these moments that you can win.

For years I have searched for these moments. I have come to see that there are times in gambling when the improbable does occur, that heads turns up fifteen times in a row, or there is a four hour role at the dice table. Unfortunately these improbable streaks fall into the laws of probability and it is impossible to tell when they will occur.

Can you win at gambling? I don't think that you can outsmart the laws of probability. I have had two unusual experiences in routlette, though, that have kept my mind open to the possibility that you can win. In both cases, the security guards at the casinos came up to me to question me and try to determine whether or not I was cheating. The first case occurred in Atlantic City. I picked four consecutive numbers. This is a 1.5 million to one shot. I think it was just luck.

The second case though occurred in Puerto Rico and was a little different. I arrived at my hotel around midnight. I was not tired and decided to try my luck. I was feeling very alive and upbeat. I had been day dreaming about gambling throughout the entire plane ride. This was not unusual for me since I hate flying and do whatever I can to distract myself. I must admit I also think about gambling when I am not flying. So I am not sure whether this was unusual or not.

What was unusual was the degree of confidence I had when I approached the roulette table. I decided that I would close my eyes before each roll, visualize the ball spinning around, and see it in my mind land on a number. I would then bet that number. I started off betting about ten dollars on each spin, two on the number and two each on a split bet between the number I visualized and the numbers surrounding it.

I started winning immediately. Within 10 minutes I was up over five hundred dollars and had now increased my bet to twenty-five per spin. I felt like I was in a trance. I kept visualizing and winning. Before long I had thousands of dollars in chips in front of me. It was surrealistic. I felt like I was in a different world. I wasn't excited or nervous. I was very relaxed and comfortable. I had no thoughts about what I was doing. I just kept visualizing, placing my bets, and winning. I finally noticed that there was a crowd of people behind me cheering. My spell was broken and I started to lose. I got up from the table and cashed in my chips. I had won nearly three thousand five hundred dollars.

When I look back now I do believe that there was something special that happened in that moment. I don't believe it was a suspension of the laws of probability. I believe that I had experienced the power of visualization and its ability to influence reality. I don't understand it and it has never happened again. It has cost me a lot of money though trying to recreate that moment. I do believe that there is something to visualization as a way to impact your life, but I don't think gambling is the best vehicle.

Fire Marshalls and Chimney Caps

2009-07-10T06:57:00.000-07:00

I'm not sure what bother me more the degree to which everyone around me is out of control or the degree to which I'm out of control. It depends on my state of mind in the moment. I'm a little weak at anything that has to do with repair, remodeling, refurbishing, redesigning, assembling, or use of tools. This constantly creates problems for me.

For some reason the Fire Marshall of Brigantine drove past my house a few months ago and noticed that my chimney did not have a cap on it. I never noticed that chimneys have caps. Anyway he gave us a summons for violating a fire code. We had to repair it immediately or risk further fines. I wasn't sure who to call or what to do. I actually ended up speaking to a roofer, a plumber, two handymen, and a chimney company. Since we have a gas fireplace it was a little more complicated than I could have imagined. There were many different options proposed depending on whether or not we wanted to use the fireplace and or the degree to which we were willing to risk fire, inhaling poisonous gas. or permanently damaging our roof, chimney, fireplace, and housing structure.

Not knowing what to do and not wanting to think about it, I sent a letter to the Fire Marshall asking for more time. I stated that we had contacted a number of people and that none of them could do the work immediately and that it was a more expensive project than we could afford at the moment. He agreed to postpone any further action for an undefined period of time. A few weeks ago, we received a letter stating that we needed to appear in court for violation of the Brigantine fire code.

I asked my wife to call the Fire Marshall and explain that she had been laid off, that we were a little short of cash, and that it was more complicated than we thought. He was sympathetic, but said it was out of his hands and was now in the hands of the court system. He recommended though that we probably would be better off if we had the work done before we appeared in court.

I asked my wife to handle it. I was a litle tied up with some important items and she wasn't working. She called Chimney Doctor and a few other guys who handle chimneys. Chimney Doctor came over, looked at the roof, looked in the fireplace, and stated that it would be minimum of $960.00 if we wanted to do the job right. The problem was deeper than it seemed. There was leakage in the fireplace which could escalate into a bigger problem. The best solution was some type of high tech metal that would prevent further erosion and last forever. The guy seemed sincere and knowledgeable My wife wanted to do it and end the problem and aggravation. I was in the middle of some important work and did not want to make an immediate decision. I told her to tell him that we would call him back.

The next guy came over with a ladder, climbed up on the roof, and came down with a Polaroid showing that the chimney did actually have a cap on it. It was a flat cap. It could not be seen from the street. No one, including the fire marshall, had actually climbed on the roof to get to the truth about the situation. Typical.

I immediately went to the Fire Marshall's office to show the photo of the cap and hopefully get the court appearance cancelled. He wasn't there. He was on vacation. Typical. His secretary said that she didn't think anything could be done since it was already in the court system and the fact that we actually had the cap wasn't relevant at this point.

I know that I could have handled this better I was out of control throughout the process and unwilling to deal with the situation and now I am even more frustrated and out of control. But, hey, I'm not the only crazy one here. I'm waiting for the Fire Marshall to call me. I'm not optimistic.

Successful Negotation Thoughts

2009-07-09T09:35:00.000-07:00

In response to an appeal to lower my Real Estate taxes I got a call from a lawyer last night. He was representing the city of Brigantine. He was calling to tell me that the value of my house was assessed at $425,000.00, down from $515,000.00.

I asked him, "How did you come up with that number?"

He said, "We used the price that you paid for the house."

I said, "We bought the house in October 2007. Haven't prices come down since then.?"

He game me some miscellaneous BS answer that I can't remember.

I then said, "Let me ask you a question." Are you working for the city to try to get the most money for Brigantine or are you trying to be fair?"

After hesitating a moment he responded, "I do work for the city but I am trying to be fair."

I said, "I'm not sure you answered my question."

He then spent another few minutes trying to explain why his assessment was reasonable. It was a half decent effort.

I then told him very directly, "Look I feel my house is worth about $379,000 in today's market." I will agree to an assessment of $400,000.00 as a compromise."

He said, "I don't know if I can do that."

I said, "What do you mean you don't know. Can you or can't you.?"

He didn't say anything.

I said then, "I want you to be my advocate. I will agree to whatever you decide. The fair number if $400,000.00. Call me back with your decision. I will accept whatever you say. However, I want you to promise me that you will present my point to whomever makes this decision and not tell them that I will agree with whatever is decided."

He said, "OK"

He called me back later to tell me that the $400,000.00 was accepted.

One of the unfair things about life is that if you negotiate you get better deals than if you don't. And if you are a good negotiator you even get better deals. The question is what is the best way to negotiate.

I have studied this question about negotiation for many years. I started and sold a business whose primary purpose was negotiating lower prices for major corporations. I have read countless articles on the subject and have had many conversations with knowledgeable and successful negotiators.

The tricky part about this question is that a successful negotiation oftentimes is not what it seems to be. It is not always about getting the lowest price or getting your way. Many people think they are great negotiators because they are constantly haggling and hammering whoever they speak to about anything and everything include sex, money, control, and boundaries. What they don't realize is that the outcome of the negotiation is often not decided in the moment but unfolds over a longer period of time.

You can't beat the system. It might seem like there are those who get away with stuff, but over the long run I believe whatever you do has consequences. This is something that you can't accept on faith. You need to verify it for yourself. The way to successfully negotiate is:

1- Determine what you want. Be precise.

2- State what you want as clearly and directly as possible. Don't beat around the bush.

3- Listen carefully to the response for your offer. Don't accept BS responses. Point them out without irritation or annoyance.

4-Make a decision that you feel good about or walk away.

I keep practicing. I am getting better at it.

Am I Communicating?

2009-07-07T09:06:00.000-07:00

I have noticed that since I have been writing this blog my communication skills have improved. Now that I wrote that statement and look at it I have to ask myself, is it really true? Have my communication skills improved or am I imagining that they have? How do I verify whether they have improved or not.?

First of all communication of ideas is very difficult. Communication of facts and basic information necessary for day to day survival is much easier. Most people are decent at getting through each day and doing what is necessary to take care of themselves and their family. They are not as good at expressing their innermost thoughts and feelings. I believe that expressing my thoughts without censorship or wondering or worrying how they will be received has enabled me to practice at being more clear. This practice has improved my overall communication.

Success in business or relationships is enhanced by better communication skills. Many people assume that successful communication is about convincing others that their ideas or viewpoints are correct. I don't agree that this is the highest or the most effective way to communicate. It seems to me that what is more important is to be able to sincerely state what you believe to be true. Once you have become skilled at communicating what you believe is true you can work on improving your ability to deliver your truth in a kinder and gentler way.

What hinders our communication at times is our desire to be polite or not hurt someone's feelings. Political correctness oftentimes results in mixed messages and lack of real communication. We tell people what they want to hear or what we assume will present ourselves in the most favorable light rather than what we really believe. Some of us have never had a real conversation in our lives.

We are constantly being told that the most important part of communication is listening. Listening is important but the listening must be done in a special way to have real value. You can't just evaluate the words that are being spoken but must look beyond the words and try to glimpse the real intent.

In order to listen you can't be concerned with what you want to say next or allow yourself to be impacted by the words that are being spoken to you. This requires real effort, objectivity, and non-attachment. Although listening is important you can't control what others say, you can only control how you respond. Your response is both how you are impacted by what is said and what you say in return.

I can't verify for sure whether I am communicating better or not. I can only continue to work at it.

Freud, Consumerism, and a Collapsing Economy

2009-07-05T08:39:00.000-07:00

I heard a TV analyst remark that the economy is not recovering as quickly as anticipated. DUH!
It's like saying that the 900 pound woman who lost 150 pounds is still struggling with her weight. Or that the 30 year old man raised in the deep jungle from birth by wild gorillas is finding it difficult to adjust to life in suburban Philadelphia. I mean what do you expect. After almost ninety years of overspending and rewarding creative ways of marketing meaningless products we can't really believe that things are going to return to the way they were.

We take it for granted that our economy will grow and that our material world will continue to progress. We can't imagine going a few years without a new car, an updated cell phone, a more advanced computer, a more hip wardrobe, or a more exotic vacation. We get bored easily and need constant stimulation to maintain our interest in life. Many of our identities are based upon not only what we have but on our ability to keep getting more and more. How did this happen?

On one hand you could trace our financial problems to the time when we left our caves and began creating ,what we now call, civilization or to the moment when money was invented. You might even blame the "industrial revolution" or the invention of the automobile or the rise of the financial superstars (Rockefeller, Morgan, Vanderbilt, Kennedy). However, the degree to which our financial system got out of control cannot be the result of a specific event or a few individuals. In my opinion it is a result of a mind altering process whose origins can be traced to the 1920's.

What happened in the 20's was not a fundamental change in our nature. What happened was the creation of a new industry, public relations. It seems that a nephew of Sigmund Freud, Edward Bernays, decided to apply the ideas of his uncle to business and especially to marketing.
Bernays believed, like Freud, that we were controlled not by our conscious thoughts but by deep-seated drives within our subconscious. If these deep desires could be tapped people could be motivated to act in ways that would benefit business owners. Check out the BBC video, "A Century of Self" for a detailed and brilliant account of how we have been controlled by the manipulation of our
subconscious.http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=8953172273825999151

One of Bernays' earliest assignments was to convince or manipulate women to smoke. Prior to Bernays entering the picture the cigarette market was almost entirely men. Bernays appealed to women's blossoming desire for equality and independence and doubled the cigarette market. He also created the modern clothing industry. Prior to his PR campaign most people had two or three outfits. Women had one for work and one for going out. Bernays designed a campaign that presented clothing as a way to express our individuality and changing moods. What had been an industry of necessity was changed into one where the average person could now express his sense of self.

These ideas of appealing to the subconscious and impacting the behavior of the masses evolved into our present advertising industry. The offshoots, including market research, consumer behaviorism, and modern day political science have also been shaped by the psychological theories of Freud and his earliest counterparts. For the past ninety years we have been bombarded by messages, both subliminal and direct, telling us what to think and how to behave if we want to be happy.

This has created our existing consumer mentality. The problem is it got out of hand. Even more than the development of life ending weaponry and the abuse of our environment we have gone over the line in our dependence on material things as the source of happiness. Plus, as we progressed, the degree of excesses especially in the banking, insurance, and, brokerage businesses have created an economic mess for which there is no easy solution.

This is not going to be a simple matter to correct. It is especially difficult because so many of our businesses and jobs are dependent on people continuing to buy things they don't really need. On one hand we can't continue to support behavior based on brainwashing. On the other hand for many of us our livelihood is dependent on continued and increasing consumer spending. I don't have the solution. I just believe we need to at least see the problem clearly.

Baseball and Poker

2009-07-03T00:18:00.000-07:00

To my way of thinking baseball and poker are very similar. We have now reached a critical point in this blog. Probably if I had not mentioned it, the reader, if there are any in this virtual internet world, would not have noticed it. And now that I did mention it, I wonder why I write this blog, when there are so few readers. The truth is, though, that I get pleasure from doing it and a sense of accomplishment after I complete each blog.

Let me explain, though, why there was a critical point after the first sentence. It has to do with the main themes that run through these blogs. This blog, if it is anything, is an exploration of my thought process and my interests and observations about life. The first sentence made reference to two points. The first point is my way of thinking. The second point is the similarities between baseball and poker. I could have spent the entire blog explaining what I meant by my way of thinking. However, I am not in the mood to discuss that subject. I think I'll write about baseball and poker.

Baseball and poker are both fundamentally American games, although they have recently become more global. There was a time when the best poker players in the world were either from Texas or Jews from New York. Today poker is popular throughout Europe and Asia. Many of the best players are Vietnamese. Baseball has also expanded from an American pastime to an international sport attracting great players from Latin America and Japan.

Baseball and poker have a similar rhythm. They both require patience, strategic thinking and are slow moving most of the time. The ultimate outcomes are not decided in one inning, or even in one game, but after long grueling seasons or sessions. In both games there are intense turning point moments when the pressure mounts and the outcomes hinges on one pitch, one card.

The major similarity is that the long term enjoyment in both games is centered in mathematics. No one can be considered a true baseball fan unless they are immersed in the statistics of their favorite teams and players and have studied the all time leaders and record holders in the major categories: home runs, batting average, RBI's, wins, ERA, and strikeouts. In a similar vein, all poker devotees know the important odds of drawing to inside straights, making flushes, and flopping three of a kind. They also must have a good feeling for probabilities and instantaneously or intuitively be able to calculate the relative value of calling, folding or raising, in all situations.

Baseball and poker both have undergone changes in recent years. Poker, has gone from underground to mainstream and now attracts a wide range of personalities from all segments of society. Baseball has also changed, especially in its use of pitchers. Consider the case of Ralph Terry.

Terry was a pitcher for the New York Yankees in the sixties. He is most famous for having given up the winning home run to Bill Mazeroski in the seventh game of the 1960 World Series enabling the Pittsburgh Pirates to defeat the Yankees 10-9 after the Yankees had totally buried the Pirates in their three victories while Pittsburgh squeaked out their three wins.

Terry was back in the spotlight in the seventh game of the 1962 World Series. He was the starting Yankee pitcher and had pitched eight shut out innings. Today he would have been taken out for a closer, no matter how good he was pitching. He started the ninth by giving up a bunt single to pinch hitter Matty Alou. He then struck out the next two batters, including Matty's brother Felipe. The following hitter Willie Mays doubled to right field. Aware of Roger Maris' great arm they held Matty at third making it second and third with two out. This brought up Willie McCovey one of the great left-handed sluggers of the day. Today they definitely would not have let the right-handed Terry pitch to the left-handed McCovey. With a right-hander Orlando Cepeda, on deck, today they would have at least walked McCovey or pitched around him. Anyway Terry did pitch to McCovey, who lined a shot, that he later called the hardest ball he ever hit in his life, to second baseman Bobby Richardson, and the series was over. I was sickened by the Yankee victory. This whole scenario could never had happened in the world of baseball today.

Ralph Terry is not a baseball legend. He just happened to be involved in two great baseball moments. What is interesting to me, and is part of my personal baseball history, is that in 1967, after Terry was traded to the Mets, I was waiting outside their clubhouse for autographs. Terry was one of the players I approached. He did not give me an autograph. He did give me his pencil. I later tried to sell it. I needed money to play poker.

War, Survival, and Increasing Consciousness

2009-07-01T20:26:00.000-07:00

I want to continue to explore the question that I raised in my last blog regarding the causes of the struggles that exist in the world today. I mentioned that our major battle was not between religions, or countries, or ideologies, but was a race between the forces of higher consciousness and the forces that control the thinking and actions of ordinary man. The main issue concerning the world today is whether or not we will kill ourselves, either through an unspeakably horrible war, or through the destruction of our environment, or will we learn to live in a more peaceful and balanced way.

First of all we must understand that war has been an integral part of the history of mankind. There has never been an extended period of peace since the beginning of recorded history. In a Nubian cemetery dating back 12,000 years 50% of the bodies showed evidence of violence. It has been estimated that 90-95% of all civilizations have engaged in some form of warfare. There have been over 150 conflicts and 600 battles in Western Europe in the last 150 years. What is different today is that, for the first time in the history of mankind, we have the potential to destroy our planet through the use of nuclear and/or biological weapons. Very simply the risk of war is no longer acceptable.

There are a number of theories about the causes of war. There are psychological theories that believe that man is basically aggressive and inherently violent. He cannot control himself and war is inevitable. There are theories that believe that war is not a result of the nature of the average man but is primarily caused by power hungry leaders who have no regard for human life. When a society is struggling these leaders use their superior motivational skills to rally the masses behind some dream or belief system that offers hope of a better life in this world or the next.

There are economic theories which see war as a constant struggle for resources and riches
especially when there is scarcity or inequality in the distribution of material wealth. Marx believed that war was a result of competition for resources between imperialist countries and would not end until there was a world government. Thomas Malthus believed that war was a result of expanding populations and limited resources. When the population increased to a certain point it had to be whittled down by war or famine or some other major catastrophe.

A recent theory has been named the "youth bulge theory. This viewpoint attributes war to the existence within a society of too many men ages 16-30 and not enough jobs or productive outlets for their energies. These men need a way to spend their time and channel their testosterone. War is one of the possible ways that can satisfy their needs for action, adventure, and sense of accomplishment.

All these theories have one element in common. They are the result of a level of consciousness whose primary motivation is self-gratification. They are the result of a desire to get more for oneself or one's family or one's country. You might say this is the way man is and their is nothing we can do about it. I agree that this is the way man has been in the past and the way most man are today. However, this way of being is no longer what is required for survival. This is the big difference in the world today.

If we accept the idea that the primary instinct of man is for survival and that evolution has been a result of perfecting man's ability to survive, then we must also accept that for man to continue to survive he is going to have to evolve to the level where he will not engage in activities that are self-destructive. In other words we will learn to get along and recognize that our planet's survival is mutually beneficial or we will go the way of most of the other species that have existed on the earth. It doesn't make sense to bet against us.

Creating a New Golden Age

2009-06-30T09:58:00.000-07:00

There was a time and place (Spain in the middle ages) when Jews, Moslems, and Christians lived together in harmony. During this time the confluence of these three cultures produced tremendous advances in science, medicine, philosophy, art, agriculture, and mystical religious thought. Although the situation wasn't perfect, and ended in the Spanish Inquisition, in which the Catholics decided that anyone, especially Jews and Muslims, who didn't accept traditional Catholic thought should be killed, this "Golden Age" does offer a precedent for the possibility of peace.

The Muslims, even during this time of coexistence, believed that there were three categories of people. The first and highest were Muslims who accepted Mohammed as the one true god. The second were "people of the book", Christians and Jews, who, although they had gotten off the track still were guided by god's words in the old and new testament. Then there were the pagans who had no hope and were considered worthless. This view though, was the mainstream view fostered by the politicians and religious leaders. It was not the view of the deeper thinkers who saw the similarities and values in all religious thought.

One of the more important outcomes of this co-mingling of philosophical thought was the development and refinement of the mystical side of these three religions. The Kaballah, Sufism, and Christian mysticism began to see religion not just as a question of faith but as an opportunity to experience God directly. Dogmatic religious belief was replaced by each individuals' ability to experience the reality of a higher power and an expanded universe through meditation, prayer, dance, and the entering of ecstatic states.

From the experiences and discussions regarding these states arose an awareness of the oneness of all mankind and our connection to each other. What became apparent to these mystical philosophers was that our present rational views of the world were limited in their ability to understand the meaning and purpose of life. What was required was a higher consciousness that was not available to the ordinary man through ordinary thought. This realization that there was a higher consciousness and that it is only through this higher state that we can understand our world and learn to live together is, in my opinion, critical to solving the problems of today's world.

What this means to me is that the battle the world is facing is not between Islam and the other religions, or between different countries, or between capitalism and communism or socialism but between a way of thinking that promotes separatism and competition versus a way of thinking that sees us as all connected and created from the same source. Although we may appear differently or think differently, we need to learn see our differences as opportunities to learn and grow and expand our understanding of how our planet really functions.

Out of this can come another "Golden Age" in which the results of cooperation and mutual support can enable us to live happier, longer, and more exciting lives. This is not a pipe dream or an idealistic viewpoint. Just as there were in medieval Spain, there are thousands, even millions of people who are working along these lines, who see the possibility of creating a new world by recognizing that truth does not exist in one philosophy or ideology but in an open-minded striving to expand our awareness.

Talent, Inherent or Acquired

2009-06-28T08:20:00.000-07:00

My brother-in-law is a poet. He's a good one. Although he didn't win, he was nominated for a Pulitzer Prize in poetry. In addition to being a poet, he's a teacher of poetry.

I met my brother-in-law when he was thirteen. He didn't look like a poet to me. I didn't even see in him the seeds of a future poet. I also met Lew Alcindor, later Kareem Abdul Jabaar, when he was thirteen. He looked like a basketball player. Plus he was great even at that age. Beethoven and Mozart were both great musicians before the age of five. Tiger Woods showed signs of superstardom at age four.

On the other hand Einstein wasn't very good at math. Marilyn Monroe, from what I hear, (I can't remember where I heard it) was a gawky teenager. Michael Jordan didn't show great ability until he got to college. What is the source of greatness?

It seems that talent is inherent but in order for it to blossom it needs to be cultivated. This requires hard work and good training. What about business? Is there a business gene that you are born with? I don't think so. I think anyone can learn to be successful at business. (Read Fortune Magazines Secret of Greatness) What's difficult is to develop the motivation to deal with the ridiculousness that's required. This ability probably takes a gene in itself.

It has always seemed unfair to me that the abilities that were required to be successful in business were often opposed to those that were required to be truly creative or talented in a special way. I guess that's where agents come in.

It is the existence of true talent that gives me hope for the world. We will not be saved by stock brokers or insurance agents or even advertising moguls. If you have any question about the existence of true talent check this video out.

Levels of Truth

2009-06-26T19:40:00.000-07:00

While surfing the internet yesterday I made a good discovery. U.G Krishnamurti. For many years I have searched for real teachers and sources of knowledge to gain some insight into the meaning and purpose of life. (MAPOL). I have travelled long distances to hear or meet someone who was recommended to me. I have attended seminars, workshops, and classes on a wide range of esoteric subjects from "Opening your Heart" to "Gnosticism and Psychedelics." I have spent thousands of dollars on books and tapes Most of the so called gurus and teachers I have uncovered are either whacked out, low level, or redundant.

It is hard to find quality information or high level thoughts. It is especially hard to find either new ideas or creative ways of expressing old ideas. In the past five years, for example, I have spent thousands of hours reading, studying, and searching and have come across only two thinkers who have impacted me.

The first was Boris Mouravieff whose three volume work "Gnosis, Studies and Commentary on the Esoteric Tradition of Eastern Orthodoxy" provided an excellent perspective on the Fourth Way tradition. I was especially impacted by his idea that humanity is divided into two distinct groups. One group has no interest in consciousness and is very satisfied with living an ordinary life. The other group has the potential for consciousness, although this potential is usually not realized. The future of the world is dependent on whether or not enough individuals within this second group become conscious. This will cause a real change in the conditions of the world especially in our ability to avoid a global war.

The other teacher was David Hawkins who developed a unique theory on measuring the level of consciousness of everything that exists in the world and how to tell truth from falsehood. His basic premise is that all life and everything that has been created has a specific energy or vibration associated with it. This energy can be assigned a number from 0-1000. Anything below 200 is false and everything above 200 is true. The higher the number the more evolved or truthful. He assigns a number to almost anything you can imagine including books, movies, songs, countries, religions, historical figures, politicians, philosophical and political theories, government agencies, scientific theories, and even T.V. shows. (His highest rated show is National Geographic at 450.)

Although anything above 200 is true and has had a positive influence on history, only those things rated above 500 are considered to be conscious. The distinctive quality of consciousness is that it is non-linear and represents a level of truth that is not based on logic but on a more direct connection with reality. What impresses me most about this line of thinking is the perspective that it creates about valuing everything we deal with in life. I do not agree with all that Hawkins says, especially how he arrives at his valuations, but I do agree that there are definitely levels of truth and falsity in everything we perceive. The idea of different levels of truth makes it much easier to explore the world in an objective way.

I have developed a certain sensitivity and intuition about what is true and what is BS. Yesterday I accidentally stumbled on the teaching of UG Khrishnamurti. I began reading his ideas thinking they were the idea of J Khrishnamurti, another teacher I admire. After a while I realized that UG was not J, although he was influenced by J. I was impressed by the clarity of his thinking and by his rejection of all existing belief systems.

His basic idea is that in order to deal with our fears and weaknesses we create religions and philosophies that enable us to feel better. The only path to truth, lies in learning to experience our lives as fully as possible without trying to analyze or understand what is beyond our ability to comprehend. There may be a time in the future where we will expand our understanding through scientific discovery, but until this time, we should give up our imaginings and accept what is. It would seem that if you accept this there is no point in searching. All that matters is living each day as best you can. I wonder what level of truth that last thought represents.

Truth, Reading, and TV

2009-06-25T01:42:00.000-07:00

When we got off the plane in Philadelphia we followed the signs to baggage claim. No problem finding it. In baggage claim we saw ten conveyor belts with luggage on them. We looked for the one with our flight number and waited for our baggage to come up the chute onto the belt and around to where we were standing. After a while of checking a number of pieces that looked like ours, I decided, on an instinct, to go to another belt to see If I could find our luggage. My wife thought I was crazy since we were standing at the one that listed our flight number. Sure enough, four belts down, I found a black Samsonite bag with our name circling the belt. How could it be there when our flight was listed on another belt? You can't believe everything you read.

A friend of mine was telling me a story today about her writing. She said that she had written down her two main issues in life. They happened to be getting older and learning to be single. She felt that the act of writing them down had given her greater clarity into herself and her life situation. It was as if before she had written them down they were not as real. We give tremendous credibility to something when it is written.

Whenever my father wanted to make a point to me he quoted a book or article he read. Matter of fact I was just reading one of the Wellness letters he sends me every month. Did you know that "chewing gum after intestinal surgery reduces the time it takes for normal bowel function to return." Normal bowel function has always been an important subject to my father. It seems though after ninety-six years he should be an expert on the subject without having to read about it.

Much of what we believe about life comes from thoughts, ideas, remembrances, and stories that are written down. When something is reduced to paper and ink it assumes almost a magical quality. The same can be said about television. Many people believe that if something is shown on television it is true, especially if it supports what they already believe.

I am not trying to say that we should not read or watch television. I am trying to say that we need to be aware of how we have formulated our opinions and beliefs. I think it is important to recognize that not everything that is written or stated on TV can be given the same level of credibility. We need to be able to discriminate between higher and lower level sources of information and reporting. What is written down or observed can be the result of the observations, opinions, and conclusions of someone who is objective and motivated by a quest for accuracy or by someone who has an agenda to promote.

In addition there are those who have developed a higher level of consciousness or awareness. Their opinions and viewpoints carry more weight than someone with an average level of consciousness. If we are committed to understanding life and its meaning and purpose we should not rely solely on what we read or are told. I believe that a serious spiritual seeker will benefit from developing an ability to 1- take in all information without judgement, 2- search out written materials from higher level sources, and 3- work on developing their own consciousness. The consequences of doing these things on an ongoing basis is valuable to improving the quality of one's life and increases the possibility for success and happiness.

A Question of Appearance

2009-06-23T06:43:00.000-07:00

I was a good basketball player. I did not appear athletic though and was usually underestimated by my opponents. This increased my effectiveness. Matter of fact in many areas of my life I have seemed to be worse than I really am. There are those who believe you should put your best foot forward. I have always thought it was better to hold back a little and not reveal the level of your ability or strength until it was absolutely necessary.

How we present ourselves to the world and how we judge others are important to our happiness and success. We are constantly dealing with decisions that surround this issue. Would you rather go out with a women who appears beautiful because of knowledge of makeup and style or one that hides her beauty revealing it only in the most intimate moments? Would you rather be friends with someone who appears smart but is actually stupid or someone who appears stupid but is actually smart? Would you rather eat a meal that looks great but tastes terrible or a meal that looks plain but tastes great? Would you rather drive a car that is safe, reliable, comfortable, and economical or one that is cute, sexy, or flashy?

We are living in a society in which appearances have become more important than reality. What is important in America today is image. Billions of dollars are spent and counless time and energy are expended on creating the illusion of success, of wealth, of knowledge, of expertise, of competence, and of quality. We are constantly being bombarded by images created to convince us that a product, service, or idea is more than it actually is. Many of our lives are controlled by the desire to acquire the biggest, the best, the fastest, the most beautiful, the sleekest, the newest, the most advanced, or the hippest, when in fact the cost of acquisition of many of these things leaves us no time to enjoy them.

This is a serious matter. Our economy is strongly dependent on our continuing to desire products and services that are primarily geared to improving our appearance or image rather than enhancing our lives. If we were to wake up to the truth about what really makes us happy the consequences to many of the businesses that depend on marketing the sizzle rather than the steak would be dire.

It seems to me that we need to start making choices and reassess our priorities. There is a great freedom in not being dependent on appearance but striving for substance, humility, and sincerity. The starting point for gaining this freedom is not to be concerned about our own appearances but be more concerned about the quality of our lives and doing what really makes us happy.

We can free ourselves from the necessity to being liked or being accepted by not feeling pressured to always present ourselves in the most favorable light. We can hold back a little in showing others, especially those who we first meet, how smart or talented or successful we are. This requires real confidence and some consciousness. The consequences of this will change the world and make our lives much easier. I believe that if we don't do it willfully we will be forced to do it anyway.

"Dr. Ira, Business Psychic"

2009-06-20T12:20:00.001-07:00

I walked into the Psychic Eye Bookstore on Ventura Blvd in Studio City to check out the vibes. It was a little crowded. I asked the hippyish, hippyesque clerk, "Hows business?" She said that during difficult times more people were interested in psychic readings so business was up. The store was well set up to maximize their diverse psychic, psychedelic, and esoteric offferings.

One wall was devoted to spiritual, religious, philosophical, and psychologial books. The selection was focused on what I consider the more "far out" segment of esoteric subjects that includes reincarnation and past lifes, witchcraft and paganism, channeling and mediumship, UFO's and planetary visitations, and tarot card and astrological studies.

The central area was devoted to crystal balls, magic wands, incense, wicca supplies, love potions, herbal concoctions, medieval clothing, statues of Buddha and other god, goddesses and mythological beings and animals, and a full range of products to construct home altars for meditation and prayer.

The other wall consisted of maybe 15 small rooms, each closed by a curtain. These rooms were being used by psychics to give private readings. It reminded me a little of a brothel I had frequented as a teenager in college that had a number of small rooms along one wall each occupied by a women waiting to pleasure you for ten dollars. To be fair, The Psychic Eye was on a higher level.

Their were flyers posted on each curtain advertising the specialt gifts of each practictioner. There was something for everybody. If you were so inclined you could hire for $60.00 per hour a clairvoyant, clairsentient, clairaudient, Reiki Master, master astrologer, intuitive evolutionary astrologer, fourth generation metaphysical practitioner, angelic guide, past life reader, dream analyst, or just a plain vanilla spiritual guide.

If you were looking for more exotic services there were custom candles and herb magick, pendulum work, crystal and gem healing, astro dice (this intrigued me), dowsing, spellcraft and spell advising, communing with those in spirit, animal communication and pet readings, and oracle of the triad astrology (whatever that is).

The truth is. I felt right at home. Matter of fact I inquired about the possiblity of setting up my own room for life counseling and spiritual guidance. In order to gain immediate confidence and credibility I would start each of my sessions with the same statement. "I can see that you have something on your mind."

I actually was trained in fortune telling by a gypsy women when I was four years old living in Brooklyn. Even at this young age I gravitated towards what I considered the magical and supernatural. The gypsy women told me that the key to telling fortunes was to say whatever came into your mind about the person. Don't block or censor your thoughts. Go with your first impressions and don't be afraid of being wrong. I have practiced this over the years and actually have become quite good at it.

I'm not sure if it makes sense to move to California now and start a new career as a psychic. Maybe I could do it in Atlantic City. I would have to get a new wardrobe. I would need to change my image. Maybe not. I sometimes think this is what I am already doing. I could call myself, 'Dr. Ira, Business Psychic and Financial Channel."
Channel." I

"You too, Norman"

2009-06-19T11:15:00.000-07:00

There aren't many couples in old age homes. I hope this changes in the future, but right now most of the people are single and the large majority are women. I'm not sure whether this means that women are stronger or that life takes a greater toll on men. It's probably a combination of both. I have been observing life in the slow lane at my parents' retirement hotel for the last few days. It truly is another world--one, if we're lucky, we'll experience, too.

In one sense growing old is the great equalizer. No matter what you have accomplished in your life, or how much money you have, when you can't take care of yourself, or get around without help, we are all the same. As we lose our physical abilities life is less about the material world, and more about what is going on inside our head.

Actually this is the way it always is, but it takes growing older before we can fully appreciate this fact. This is the great secret of life. Most of us never truly recognize that the reality of our lives is not outside of ourselves but within our minds, and hopefully, our consciousness. We create the reality of our lives by our thoughts. The quicker we uncover this secret the easier and more productive our lives can become.

There are advantages to being young. No question about this. There are also advantages to being old. Less is expected of you. There is nothing to prove. This enables you to be more honest with yourself and others. There is a freedom when you're only requirement is to get through the day. You don't have to wait until you are old to get these advantages. I think this is the meaning of the statement "youth is wasted on the young."

My sister and I have been discussing how to reduce my parents monthly expenses. One of the options is to move them to another retirement facility. My mother is constantly complaining about the one they are in, so moving them might be reasonable. I asked them if they have any friends. It seems they have one couple whom they consider friends.

I asked them, "How much time do you spend with this couple?"

My mother replied, "We eat with them every day. We've been doing this for over a year. I enjoy speaking to the woman. She is a Zionist and believes that Obama is bad for the Jews. Sometimes she gets on my nerves."

I then turned to my father and asked him, "Do you like her husband?"

"Oh, yes, he is very smart, also."

"What do you talk about?"

"We have the same exact conversation every day. It hasn't changed the whole time we've been together. Mommy and his wife do all the talking."

I then asked, "Do you eat with them three meals a day?"

My father answered, "Yes, although mommy and the wife don't get down to breakfast. It's just me and Norman. We spend an hour together."

I wondered what this conversation could be like. "And what do you guys talk about?"

My father said, "It's the same every day. He says to me after breakfast, 'Have a good day, Maury.' That's it."

"And what do you say?"

"You too, Norman."

I said, "That's it, Dad? That's all you have said to each other for over a year. How do you know he's smart?"

He said, "Yep, that's it. I say only three words. He says five."

That's their friendship, the same eight words each day. I keep thinking about that. I'm not sure what to make of it.

A Day with my Parents

2009-06-17T21:37:00.000-07:00

I am laying in bed now in Sherman Oaks California in a motel next door to my parents' assisted living facility. I spent the day looking for a new place for them to live. The fundamental problem is that they are running out of money. They presently have $45,000.00. This is the remainder of the money they got for selling their house four years ago.

They bought this house when my father was 81 years old. It was the first house they ever owned. The only reason they bought it was because the apartment they were living in was destroyed by the Northridge earthquake. They had never considered buying a house but the government gave earthquake victims the opportunity to buy homes with no money down and 2% interest. They paid $156,000.00 for the home and sold it for $420,000,00.

They have an income of $7000.00 per month.

Their monthly expenses are $10,000.00. $5600.00 of this is for their room and board. $4400.00 is for the full time care my father needs in order to get through the day. They are eating into their savings at a rate of $3000.00 per month. They have 15 months more before they will be broke. My father will be 97 in August. my mother 90 in November. My sister and I have been discussing this situation, trying to figure out what to do.

My parents have been married for 67 years, The secret to their success is that my father has devoted his life to making my mother happy. I am not recommending this as the key to marital success; just stating what has worked for them. The truth is that my father really does not care where they live. His only concern, even now, is what my mother wants.

My mother is not sure what she wants. She complains about their present living conditions. She feels it is being run by a large corporation that doesn't care about the residents. They never get the food right and are constantly nickle and diming them with extra fees and charges. She wasn't happy with any of the other places we looked at. The elevator was too far from their room. There was no sink in the kitchen to wash dishes, although she doesn't wash dishes. The atmosphere was not quite right. My father couldn't care less about any of this.

I don't want my mother to sound like the bad guy here; it is only because of her that my father chooses to live. I have been watching him carefully for the last two days. It seems that the only thing that is keeping him alive is his desire to please my mother. The whole thing is a little sad.

It does make me wonder about the meaning and purpose of life. What's interesting though is that my father doesn't wonder about it at all. He just tries his best each day to do the right things. He seems to care very little about his own personal situation. He is thrilled to see me, though. When I kissed him goodby tonight his face lit up. That was a special moment. It made me happy. Maybe that's all there is.

Turning Over the Reins

2009-06-14T10:42:00.000-07:00

I went to my friends sons' graduation from Drexel University yesterday. Graduations are usually long boring affairs, although there are moments of inspiration especially when you see someone you care about achieve something for which they have worked hard. I tried to see what I could learn from watching this group of kids entering a new phase of their life. It's easy to imagine stuff or romanticize or read more into these emotionally charged events than is actually there. I tried to be more objective in my observations.

First of all, what stood out was the diversity of nationalities represented. There were Indians, Asians, Middle Easterners, Africans, Spanish, and Europeans representing more than sixty different countries. I would guess that less than 25% of the class were white Americans. This is not surprising since Drexel is an engineering school located in the inner city. My initial thought about this was that America is a great country in which opportunities are available to all people regardless of their race color, religion or country of origin.

After a few hours though of observing the kids smile while they received their diplomas, the pride on their parents' faces, and the comraderie that they shared ,I began to notice their differences less and their similarities more. What I originally perceived as diversity was a superficial way of seeing. What was more real was that this was a group of smart kids who shared common interests and aspirations no matter where their parents or grandparents were born . These were kids who were more connected to their computers, i-pods, facebook, you tube, rap and hip hop then they were to most of the racial, religious, and nationalistic concerns that may have preoccupied their parents.

I know that this graduating class is entering into adulthood and its usual responsibilities at a difficult time. They, however, can take comfort that it is not their fault. They did not create our problems. And it seemed to me that they are going to be more than equipped to deal with these problems. They are scientists, engineers, technicians and in general problem solvers who have been brought up in a different world than any other generation, as all generations are. The evolutionary impulse continues to create the level of consciousness and thinking that is necessary to enable humans to survive and prosper.

The old ways of thinking are no longer working and need to be replaced.Those that are in power now take themselves very seriously and assume that they know what is best. I don't think so. The world and its problems have bypassed them It is going to take this new generation to bring a new energy and viewpoint, one that is greatly needed. It will take time, maybe 10-30 years, maybe less, for this class and the ones slightly ahead of them and behind them to begin to impact our lives. If things get really bad they will have to accelerate their pace. I think they will.

It is hard for us to admit that we are dinosaurs, that much of our thinking is no longer valid or capable of solving our problems. We waste too much time discussing matters that are really inconsequential or that have no definitive answers., including abortion, homosexual marriage, Gitmo, capitalism vs. socialism, global warming, bailing out failing companies, and mostly everything that we see every day on the news. We need to spend more time producing products and services that make our lives easier and more enjoyable, that reduce the barriers that separate us, that enable us to live longer and healthier, and that set the stage for our travelling throughtout the universe. I was encouraged by what I saw at Drexel this weekend. I am more encouraged when I see my three grandkids.

A Moroccan Dream

2009-06-12T07:27:00.000-07:00

I almost converted to Islam. I had to to make a choice between sex or baseball. I chose baseball. Let me explain. It all started at a Super Bowl party. I was introduced to Latifa. She was from Morocco. I was from Brooklyn. She was 35. I was 42. She had three kids. I had three kids. She was recently divorced. She had decided to leave her husband after he took a fourth wife. She was okay with three; the fourth was too much. I was recently divorced; my reasons were more complicated.

She had come to America to find a husband. She was staying with her cousin in Philadelphia. Her cousin and I had a mutual friend who had invited all of us to the Super Bowl party. She was very pretty. We immediately hit it off. There were a few obstacles. She spoke no English. She spoke French and Arabic. I spoke a little French, no Arabic. After the party her cousin gave me her number and told me to call Latifa to set a date to come to her house where we could get to know each other better.

I called and went to visit Latifa at her cousin's' house. We saw each other nearly every day for the next three weeks. Her cousin chaperoned our time together and served as translator. We got two French-English dictionaries and used them to communicate in simple terms. As we got to know each other our relationship deepened. We slept together for a few of the nights without any sex. It was very romantic.

Finally, she told me that she had to go home and get back to her kids. Our last night together we ended up making out very heavily. Before too long we were nude. We were both a little out of control. At least I was. She started saying some stuff that I couldn't understand. I just nodded my head.

I drove her to the airport. We agreed to keep in touch by phone. During the next six months I spoke to her at least once per week. My French was improving and we were able to communicate. During this time we agreed that I would come to Morocco for a few weeks to meet her family. If they accepted me, we would become engaged for two years. During this time I would live in Morocco for six months each year and she would live with me in America for six months. If after two years we decided we wanted to spend our lives together we would get married. It made sense to me.

As the time approached for me to go to Morocco I decided to call my parents and tell them about my plans. My mother answered. I told her that I had met a women and was considering getting engaged. I also said there were a few problems. She asked me what they were.

"She lives in Morocco."

"We'll, she'll have to move here."

"She doesn't speak English."

"As long as you're happy together that's all I care about."

"She's Muslim."

"Maury, get on the phone and speak to your son."

After calming them down, promising I would not do anything rash I continued with my plans. As the day of departure for Morocco approached my fantasies were escalating. I could not think of anything but making love to this beautiful Moroccan princess. She had managed to communicate to me in our phone conversations that Islamic women were the most highly sexed women in the world and had perfected the art of lovemaking to bring men to ecstatic heights. At least that's what I thought she had said.

I arrived in Casablanca. Latifa picked me up at the airport with her son. We drove two and a half hours to her home in Rabat. I was in a dream world. Her home was about eight rooms and was incredibly furnished. She introduced me to her three person house staff. I walked into her bedroom with my suitcase and laid it down.

She said, "Before I agree to let you sleep in my bedroom we need to talk."

"OK."

She reminded me that I had agreed to become a Muslim during our last night together in Philadelphia. I didn't remember this, although I knew that I had agreed to something during the heat of our passion. She then told me that on her recent pilgrimage to Mecca she had renewed her connection with Islam. She would not sleep with me unless I again agreed to convert to Islam.

I asked her, "What exactly is required to become a Muslim?"

"You must do five things. First you must read the Koran."

"OK, that's no problem, I enjoy books about religion. What else?"

"You must agree to fast during Ramadan."

I had actually just completed a lemonade fast. I said, "Fine, next."

"You must agree to contribute 10% of your income to the mosque."

I didn't think money would be a problem for us. I said, "Yes."

I don't remember the fourth requirement. I agreed to it though. I do remember the fifth requirement. I needed to accept Allah as the one true god with all my mind and all my heart and I could not fake it.

Now, I would have agreed to anything to sleep with Latifa that night. But when this fifth requirement was stated I began to realize that this was a serious matter. For some reason what came into my head was the movie "Field of Dreams". I don't understand why but this movie reminded me what I loved about America. I could not go through with this conversion. I told Latifa that I couldn't do it. She was very calm about it. She said I would have to leave tomorrow. I could sleep on the sofa that night.

The next day I left her house and spent the next two weeks travelling through Morocco by myself. It was an experience which helped me heal from the pain of my divorce. I have never had any regrets.

The Palestinian Dilemma

2009-06-11T13:22:00.000-07:00

I hear a lot of discussion about the Palestinian situation. Although I am Jewish and root for the Jews I never paid much attention to what was really going on. I decided to do a little research. I googled "the truth about Palestine" and turned up 4,500,000 references. It seemed that there was some duplication so I guess there is no more than 2,000,000 separate opinions about what the truth is. I must admit that I did not read 2,000,000 articles. I just spent a little time surfing through a number of viewpoints to try to see if I could zero in on some facts or analysis that seemed objective.

One of the consistent points of every article was that you should not believe any facts or statements from the other articles because they are not trustworthy. Each point of view believes the other side is bending the truth. So no matter what you read, it may or may not be true. Now there are those who would say that this is true, you can't believe what you read or what is being stated as truth, but there are certain statements that can be proved as true. However, these statements that can be proved as true are based on other statements which may or may not be true. If this sounds complicated or circuitous to you then I think you might be heading in the right direction.

Another thing I noticed was that there is an incredible amount of information available about this situation. The information is detailed and documented and much of it probably is true . There are quotes from Golda Meir and the PLO stating that the Palestinian people do not exist. There are numerous examples of cruelty by both sides towards each other. There are historical, legal, and religious facts that make very strong cases for many different and conflicting points of view.

If you came here from another planet without any knowledge or prejudice about the situation and spent a lifetime in research to determine what to do and whose claims were legitimate I don't think you could come up with an answer that would favor the Arabs or the Jews. They both have valid points and historical, legal, and religious data to support their positions.

This is not a situation that is ruled by logic or reason. It is very emotional. I don't think we can look to the past for answers. We need to develop a solution that reflects the reality of the present. The reality that I see consists of these observations.

1-The Arabs and Jews are not getting along.

2-They both believe they are right.

3-There are fanatics on both sides.

4-This conflict is creating pressure in the region and throughout the world.

5-There is a potential for this pressure to erupt into a serious problem that might cause many people to die.

6 The Arabs don't want the Jews in Israel.

7-Whether it takes one year, or five years, or twenty years, or fifty years, the Arabs will develop nuclear weapons.

8-At some point in the future they will use these weapons against Israel.

9-Living in Israel is like living in a small neighborhood in a big city where everyone around you wants to kill you.

10-Although I might admire their courage, conviction, and accomplishments, I would not want my kids living under these conditions.

11- I would ask my kids to come home where it is safe. I would tell them that maybe in the future if things change, or consciousness evolves, or some other unforeseen occurrence creates more favorable circustances they might be able to move back.

Based on these observations, as much as I hate to say it, I think we should give the Jews the state of Montana or Wyoming and let them move there and live in peace. I'm serious about this.
We can't continue to use the Israelis as our first line of defense against Islamic fanaticism. We need to break the chain of violence by removing the targets.

Thoughts on Violence and War

2009-06-10T06:32:00.000-07:00

I always hated the Yankees. I hated Mickey Mantle. Yankee Stadium, Ballantine Beer (their sponsor), Mel Allen (their announcer), even the Bronx. I know it's a little irrational, but I couldn't help it. The Yankees were the enemy. I never once, though, considered strapping dynamite to my body and blowing myself up in their dugout. It never crossed my mind to hijack a plane and crash it into their stadium. Maybe I was a little soft in those days, but for some reason these ideas never even occurred to me. Should I be proud of this? Not really, this should be normal. But for some mysterious reason we are continually looking for ways to hurt and even destroy our enemies.

Of all the problems that exist in the world, violence is numero uno. It seems to me that one thing we should avoid is: killing each other. Now you might say: "what if we're being attacked." Of course we should defend ourselves. This is not even worth discussing. What is critical though is to reduce the probability that we will destroy ourselves through an unspeakably horrible nuclear war. Every other concern, of all the worlds politicians, especially the leaders of the major powers, needs to be secondary to this one possibility. This is one point there must be agreement. There are no circumstances that I can think of in which destroying the world is acceptable.

This might sound obvious. However, it cannot be emphasized enough. The question then is how to best prevent this. This is where it gets tricky. There are two basic lines of thought and numerous variations on each line. The first view is that in order to avoid violence against us, we should kill our enemies before they kill us. This is sometimes called the"preemptive" strategy. The second view is that we should "turn the other cheek." If someone hits us we should not respond but let them hit us again.

Neither point seems realistic. The first strategy advocates the very thing you are trying to avoid. It assumes that man is naturally and uncontrollable warlike and aggressive. Logically, belief in this strategy will result in consistent killing and destruction, until only one nation or one religion or one political system or even only one family remains. Plus, how do you determine when your enemy is threatening enough that they must be killed? Who makes this decision?

The second view has a much greater chance of preventing violence but the risk in today's world is a little too high. There are too many wackos who view non violence or passive resistance as weakness and will take advantage if they see an opportunity. It doesn't seem that this strategy would work against someone like Hitler, or Charles Manson, or Genghis Khan.

So what is the solution? In the past the consequences of war were horrible. Today, they're catastrophic. We need to find some middle ground that balances the necessity to present a strong image with the moderation to act prudently, to prevent situations from escalating past the point of no return. I believe we cannot assume that there is no hope and that there is no way to compromise. Here are some thoughts from some I consider smarter than me.

If you want to make friends you don't talk to your friends. You talk to your enemies.
Moshe Dayan

You cannot simultaneously prevent and prepare for war.
Albert Einstein

An eye for an eye will make the whole world go blind.
Mahatma Gandhi

If I am brutal and you use brutal methods to overcome me you become brutal just like me.
Khrishnamurti

True power comes from when we have every reason to kill and we don't.
Oscar Schindler

War does not determine who is right, only who is left.
Bertrand Russell

Someday they'll give a war and nobody will come.
Carl Sandburg

It is dangerous to be right when the government is wrong.
Voltaire

The way to win an atomic war is to make sure it never starts.
Omar Bradley (General)

Either war is obsolete or men are.
Buckminster Fuller.

Although there is no simple answer as to what strategy will be most effective, the necessity for finding an answer is escalating. Necessity has been known to be the mother of invention. President Obama seems to me to be on the right track in admitting weakness and trying to establish a dialogue amongst all sides. I think we should support his efforts. I am hopeful.

Talkin Baseball

2009-06-09T06:36:00.000-07:00

One of the few things in life that ever made real sense to me is baseball. You could discuss religion or politics all day and night and never come to a conclusion. With baseball you at least get short term decisions. My friend Marty is a lifetime Yankees fan. No matter what's going on in his life if the Yankees are winning he's happy. He's leaving for New Hampshire tonight, a six hour drive. Normally he would not be looking forward to it. But the Yankees are playing the Red Sox; half the trip will be spent listening to the game, unless it's rained out.

I was originally a Dodgers fan. Later, I, amazingly, evolved into a Phillies fan. You can't control who you root for. I noticed about fifteen years ago that when the Phillies were playing the Dodgers I wanted the Phillies to win. I didn't choose to change loyalties. It just happened. Although I presently like the Phillies my level of fanaticism is not close to what it was for the Dodgers. There were times when I was younger that I would make deals with God. If he would let the Dodgers win I would agree to go to shule for one day, or do some other task that I thought he would like.

Marty and I have argued about baseball for over forty-five years. I remember, like it was yesterday, watching the 1963 World Series in his house. This was their first clash since 1956. The Dodgers had won the Series in 1955 for the first time ever. This was one of the greatest moments of my childhood, Brooklyn's finest hour. They closed the schools for two days. In 1956 the Yankees won back the championship, catapulted by Don Larsen's perfect game.

We were sixteen, mature enough to have a discussion based on reason, not on pure emotion. The Dodgers had had a great year, led by Sandy Koufax and Don Drysdale's brilliant pitching. The Yankees had Whitey Ford (24-7 that year) and a powerful lineup, including Mickey Mantle, Yogi Berra, Roger Maris, Bill Skowron, and Bobby Richardson. I was a nervous wreck. The Dodgers had to beat the Yankees. Marty was confident. There was no way Frank Howard could touch Whitey Ford, Marty argued.

Koufax struck out the first five Yankees including Bobby Richardson. He struck out Richardson three times that day. Bobby had struck out only eleven times the whole year. Truly brilliant. In the bottom of the first, Frank Howard hit a mammoth 450 foot drive over Mantle's head for a double. The Dodgers scored first and ended up beating the Yankees 5-2, although Mantle did hit a late inning homer off Koufax which I must admit did impress me. The Dodgers ended up beating the Yankees four straight. I tormented Marty about this for years.

There are many great things about baseball. My favorite movies (including "A Field of Dreams") are about baseball. One of my favorite books, "The Boys of Summer," is about the 1955 Dodgers. "Talkin Baseball," the song, makes me cry every time I hear it. In a world of fear and confusion, where my mind is occupied by tons of practical daily problems and unsolveable philosophical issues, I still look at the box scores every day. I know I'm not alone in this.

How did The Greatest Generation Survive

2009-06-07T08:18:00.000-07:00

I am planning on visiting my parents next week. They are presently living in an assisted living facility in California. I mentioned this to a friend who coincidentally has an idea to present a comedy routine to old age homes in Florida. His basic premise is that this generation, called the "Greatest Generation" born between World War I and 1930, got the biggest shaft of any generation in history.

First of all in their earliest years they were in the greatest depression in the history of the world. No opportunity, no hope, no expectation of a bright future. Survival was the only thing that mattered. There were Okies who left the dust bowl because they couldn't grow food, soup lines where thousands lined up for a bowl of soup, hobos who lived in camps and did nothing but ride the trains looking for work that did not exist. People would work all day for a lump of coal that they would bring home to keep their family warm. This was not a good time to be a teenager.

So what happened next to this generation. WWII. Where every fit man, including anybody and everybody was either enlisted or drafted into a war where their lives were in mortal danger and the strategy of the war was to win by attrition. Whoever remained standing was the winner. The "greatest generation" did win the war and came home from war with hope for the future.

What happened to that hope? After years of no hope in the depression, no choice in the army, they came home and devoted the rest of their lives to their families and children. They kept jobs they did not like and stayed in relationships they despised for their children who immediately upon reaching their sixteenth birthday felt that every value that their parents had was bad. They were raping the environment, they were too materialistic, they were close-minded, they were sexist, racist, homophobes, and in general had "no clue" to what was really important. The mantra of the "greatest generation's" children became" don't trust anyone over thirty."

In spite of these tought times what is interesting and even amazing about this generation is that they survived at all. They did everything wrong that we consider today life threatening. Not only did they smoke, but every public place they went, including elevators and baseball dugouts they were exposed to second hand smoke. Every double play and home run was rewarded by cigarettes being send to the local veterans hospital.

There was lead in the paint and in the gasoline. You could not avoid lead. Now, if there is a trace of lead in a toy there is an embargo against the product. Previously, we would be exposed to lead everywhere we went, Chinese food was loaded with MSG, People ate lard, fat, schmaltz,
gribbinis (the fattiest innards of the cow). There was no exercise, no gyms, no bottled water, and no safety equipment or warning signs. No one told people not to put plastic bags over their childrens heads or not to light matches near gas stations. There were no news alerts that told us to stay inside and drink water when it was 120 degrees outside.

Healthcare used to be that someone would come to your house with a bag and cure your whole family for three dollars. There were no urologists, endocrinologists, neurologists, or dermatologists. People went to doctors or dentists, no specialists. There was no ADD or ADHD.

How did this generation survive without cellphones, blackberries, ipods, google, and cable tv. You could not break or change an appointment. If you needed to meet someone at a designated place at a specific time you had to be there because you could not call or cancel. Plus you could not buy anything if you did not have the money.

There definitely is a comedy routine buried in the comparisons between the "greatest generation" and the generations that came after. But in that comedy, there is an interesting truth about how we look at life and the necessity to be understanding and tolerant of our parents, our children, and anyone who may see life differently than we do.

Relationship Angst

2009-06-05T09:06:00.000-07:00

I was talking to my sister yesterday about relationships. She has been a therapist in Hollywood for thirty years specializing in relationship counseling. She has some interesting stories. No wonder since most of her clients are in the entertainment industry. Unfortunately, she can't disclose any specifics but I will say when it comes to sex, dating, marriage, and relationships there is no shortage of weird stuff. Everyone struggles with these issues and no matter how vivid your imagination you still can't imagine all the different stuff that goes on with relationships.

My sister believes that you can't predict whether or not a relationship will be successful. In her opinion there is a lot of luck involved. The luck is primarily in whether or not you can find someone who you even have a chance of being with for the long term. And you can't really know unless your're together for the short term. The only thing that you can do is learn to accept whatever happens and not blame yourself if a relationship doesn't work out. The thrust of her practice is not about trying to patch up failing relationships. It is about helping her clients feel better about themselves and learning from their experiences.

Interestingly I had three other conversations yesterday about relationships. The first was with my ex-girl friend. We are good friends and very close. She was commenting to me how difficult it is to date and that unless someone just showed up in her life she could not put any effort in seeking out a partner. I could see her point. Dating, especially as you get older, is more work than fun

On the other hand I also spoke with a long term male friend whose view on sex and women would probably be considered dysfunctional by 95% of women and at least 50% of men. He has no desire for a long term committed relationship. He is interested in having sex with as many women as possible and telling them whatever he has to to get them into bed. He has no interest in getting to know any of the women he dates. He is brilliant though in getting women to like him and sleep with him.

When I say brilliant, I mean he is the Michael Jordan of seducing women. On more than one ocassion we have been out for dinner when I have made a comment on the attractiveness of the waitress. I was looking at her as completely unattainable and as an object of beauty to be respected and appreciated. He immediately bet me that he could get her back to his hotel room before the evening was out. I thought it was impossible but he was able to do it. This was shocking to me.

I have always put women on a pedestal. He sees them primarily as sex objects and conquests. I never could understand why so many women, and very pretty and intelligent ones, could be so easily seduced by him.

The other conversation was with a women I just recently met. I was at a meeting with her and her business partner earlier this week. I had noticed the tension between them and had correctly surmised to both their surprise that they had been a couple.(Actually it was pretty obvious). She called me to talk about their relationship. They had been engaged, and had worked together on a number of projects. They are both very powerful individuals. They were very compatible in their personalities, likes, and dislikes. However, they could not manage to find a way to get along. She had been hurt and disappointed by their breakup and was interested in my observations.

I really did not know what to tell her except that she was a quality person and would find someone. The truth is that the whole subject is very confusing to me. It seems that on one hand there is nothing more important than relationships and that on the other the less you care the better off you are.

I do know two things about this subject. First of all we have to learn to get along with each other. Secondly, I feel a lot more confident talking about money, and this subject is also perplexing to me. I wish I had more answers.

Stupidity vs. Nobility

2009-06-04T12:37:00.000-07:00

We should never underestimate the degree of stupidity that exists in the world. The understanding and application of this idea can greatly simplify and reduce the amount of pain and frustration in our lives. It does not mean everyone is stupid, or that everything done is done stupidly. What it does mean is that we should not be surprised when things get screwed up, or upset when people disappoint us. Matter of fact, we should be appreciative when things go smoothly and people act in the right way. Everything changes when you recognize this one basic point.

What prompted me to write this blog was two separate conversations I just heard on the radio while driving home from shopping at Sam's Club. (I bought one of their cooked chickens, one of the better deals on the market today.) The conversations were focused on Obama's speech to the Muslim world. Both talk show hosts, Sean Hannity and Lou Dobbs, were criticizing Obama for denigrating the United States to the Arab world. They were berating him for not being more critical of Muslims, for not pointing out how horrible Islam has been. They were also outraged that he would admit that the United States was not perfect. They were shocked that he did not tell them all the great things we have done for the world in general, and Arabs in particular.

Why was Obama speaking in this way? I can think of four possible reasons. #1-He believes that taking the humble, apologetic tact will in the long run be to our biggest advantage. #2-He actually believes what he is saying and is committed to the truth as a way to govern. #3-He has a neurotic need to be liked and says whatever he has to in the moment to get his audience to like him. #4-He hates the United States, loves the Muslins, and is trying to help them defeat us.

The talk show hosts did not consider the possibility that #1 and #2 might be his motivation. They were convinced that it was either #3 or #4. Callers were expressing their outrage that Obama could be so anti-American and not espouse our virtues.

Barack Obama is the President of the United States of America. He was elected by popular and electoral vote. It could be that his strategy about how to handle foreign affairs and create world peace is unrealistic, idealistic, or just wrong. But to think that his primary motivation is to be liked, or to harm America, is ridiculous. To constantly criticize your leadership for being anti-American is anti-American. It doesn't strength our image or generate confidence in America. But millions of people are absolutely convinced that they are right in this matter.

The world is filled with people who believe their viewpoint is correct and that anyone who disagrees is either wrong or crazy. This way of thinking prevents change and compromise, two ingredients of progress. A great definition of stupidity is "a poor ability to understand or profit from experience." To anyone who has paid close attention to life it should become obvious that things are never exactly the way they seem to be, it is very hard to predict the future, and that no matter how sure you are about anything there is always the possibility that you might be wrong.

If we want to make any headway against stupidity we need to start with ourselves and constantly keep in mind that anything and everything we believe may not be right. We need to develop a nimbleness, a flexibility, and an ability to readjust our thinking to more accurately reflect the conditions that exist in the moment. It is this ability to be in the moment, to think in the moment, and to act in the moment, that offers hope of creating a better world. Only if we do this can we can begin to shift our expectations, to live from the view that we should never underestimate the nobility of man.

Reservations and the Internet

2009-06-02T13:53:00.000-07:00

I just finished a two hour ordeal making plane, hotel, and car reservation for a trip to California I will take in a couple of weeks. My sister had called me and said my father was getting weaker, that I should come visit as soon as possible. I must admit: It might have been easier if money had been no object. However, I was trying to save money. I complicated the process because I wanted to use American Express points to pay for the airline ticket.

I generally do not shop for anything on the Internet. I have bought a few books from Amazon, but other than travel I can't think of any other purchases I've made. I am not an enthusiastic shopper. I've noticed there are people who love to shop, who get a real high from spending money. Not me. I look at shopping as a chore; I try to complete it as quickly as possible.

What was especially annoying about this process was a little glitch I did not consider before I started making my reservations. I logged on to the American Express website, entered my arrival and departure airport, and times, and then waited for all the best choices and costs to appear. My first attempt I screwed up because I forgot to enter 2 adults. I had to start over.

The second attempt went a little smoother. I entered everything correctly; then, when asked to pay, I clicked Pay By Points and was directed to another page. I completed all the information on that page (which it seemed to me they should have already had) and then clicked "complete transaction." An error message appeared saying that the transaction could not be completed.

I was starting to feel a little irritated, but I was determined to get this done. I went back and did the entire process again and received the same error message. I called American Express to find out the problem. I explained to the women what had happened; she said I might not have enough credit on my card. I told her I was paying by points, so it shouldn't matter. She said she doesn't handle the "Rewards Program," so she would transfer me to the right department.

I then explained to the women in the "Rewards" department what had happened. Here I found the glitch. It seems that the reservation you book is only available for a short period of time. If you don't finalize the deal within a certain period it may no longer be available. The process of using your points takes a longer than the usual time. It is not surprising that I could not process the reservation. From the time I originally chose the flight until the time I was ready to pay the flight was no longer available.

She said this was not a "Rewards" problem and she would transfer me back to the travel department. I was starting to sweat. I could feel my blood pressure increasing (another problem I have been concerned about lately, although I don't want to get into it.)

I then spoke to another women in the travel department. I explained the situation to her. I asked , "How can you use your points when it requires completing so much information,
that you should already have? And, if you don't do it quickly enough, you lose the reservation?"

She said, "I'll help you.

I said, "Great, can you book the reservation for me?"

She said, "That will be another $50.00 per ticket if I book it."

I said, "Then how will you help me."

She said she'll stay on the line with me while I go through the process on the Internet.

I said, "But that will take longer than actually booking the ticket yourself."

She said, "Company policy."

The sweat was poring off me, literally.

Finally, she went through the process with me. It took at least ten minutes of what felt like constant torment. Once again when I tried to pay, the reservation could not be completed. She then asked me to hold and said she wanted to talk to her manager. After waiting for a couple of minutes I pressed the "complete transaction" on the open window that had previously rejected the reservation. This time, for some reason, it worked, and the reservation was finalized. When she came back I told her this. I told her that the reservation was made and that I had received a confirmation. She said she couldn't understand this. This began another process of further conversation and torture to determine whether the reservation was real.

I will spare you the details of the next fifteen minutes. Finally, it all worked out. It took a lot out of me. After a while I was beginning to relax until I read on the Internet that a plane had mysteriously disappeared over the Atlantic.

There is a positive ending to this story. When I called my parents to tell them we were coming, they were thrilled. My mother said, "This is the best news I've had all year." It made me feel good.

Types and Consciousness

2009-06-01T17:35:00.000-07:00

The study of types is often used to help understand human nature. There are many different systems that classify individuals. There are systems that focus on physical qualities. One of these systems characterizes people based on their physique. This system popularized by William Shelton classifies individuals into three categories, ectomorphs (thin, angular, little body fat), endomorphs (chubby, rounded, high body fat) and mesomorph (muscular, wide shoulders, narrow waist).

There is another system expressed in an interesting book, "Body Types" by Robert Friedlander that identifies seven body types each associated with a planetary body. These types, lunar, solar, mercurial, saturnine, jovial. martial, and venusian have very distinct temperaments, and strengths and weaknesses. Each type has one type that they are especially attracted to and another that repels them.

Jung classified individuals into thinking, feeling, and sensing types based upon their primary method of relating to the world. The ancient greeks and modern psychologists like Erich Fromm favored dividing people based upon four temperments, sanguine, choleric, melancholic, and phlegmatic. Then there are the twelve astrological types, and Chinese typology, right-brained and left-brained and on and on.

Many people find the study of types very interesting. I myself, have spent time checking out these various typologies to try to determine their value. (If you are interested in learning more there is tons of material that can be googled on the multitudes of systems.) All the systems and tests that tell you your type can be amusing and it is easy to find some truth in all of them.

What is misleading is that there are definitely different types but so what. There are tall and short, fat and thin, shy and outgoing, smart and dumb, aggressive and passive, social and hermetic, religious and atheistic, and verbal and mathematical. There are unlimited ways to classify people and there are millions of people who fall into each category.

All these systems and methods for typing people assume your type will determine your behavior, your inclinations, your tastes, and your abilities. This may be true to some extent and it may be useful in helping you observe yourself to try and determine your type based on one or more of these systems. But looking at the world in this way tends to create more separation and even worse can justify weaknesses or negative behavior. It is very easy to excuse yourself by assuming that there was nothing you could do about your negative behavior or thoughts because you were acting within the realm of your typology.

I believe that there is only one distinction that matters. This is the degree to which you are conscious or not. When you are working on yourself and trying to gain real freedom you are not subject to the limitations of type. You can overcome any inclinations or programming and choose your behavior. Without consciousness there is no freedom, there is no choice. For most people this idea of consciousness is a mystery. The most important thing you can do to improve your life is to begin the journey of understanding what it means to be more conscious. The starting point for this journey is to realize the degree of your unconsciousness.

A Perspective on Jobs

2009-05-31T09:45:00.000-07:00

I had an ongoing discussion this weekend with a friend about his financial situation, starting a business, and finding a job. Like me he hasn't worked for someone else for many years and the prospect of getting a job was a little troubling. The whole process of looking for a job can be upsetting and depressing. Part of the problem is inherent in the natue of capitalism which rewards those who are tough enough to withstand constant rejection, have competitive instincts, and the ability to say and do whatever is necessary to achieve their goals.

Those who are sensitive, creative, soft spoken, non-competitive, and unwilling to say and do whatever it takes are oftentimes at a disadvantage. There are those whose main skill are their ability to present a favorable appearance but lack the substance to deliver results over the long run. Corporate America, especially middle management, is loaded with this type of person and is one of the reasons many companies are struggling today. They are staffed by people with impressive resumes, stylish clothes, polished shoes, good manners, a pleasing personality, and an uncanny ability to deflect blame and responsibility.

In my opinion, this non-productive, superficial, insincere, but likable type can be found in all types of organizations including non-profits, education, government agencies, and especially local politics. It is no wonder that anyone with non-conformist tendencies and a desire to engage in meaningful work with "real people" will have a hard time finding a career or work situation that interests or attracts them. What happens is that most of us have to settle for working under conditions that are tolerable but for the most part unfulfilling and slowly destructive to our well-being. The average person finds this hard to admit and convinces themselves that their situation is not so bad and that one day they will be able to break free and do whatever they want. And it isn't so bad when you compare it to prison or slavery or living in poverty in Ethiopia.

My father, for example worked in the post office for thirty years, traveling over an hour each way on two buses and the subway, to a job he barely cared about, It is only recently that he admitted to me that not only did he not really like his job but he didn't really understand what he was doing most of the time. My father-in law worked for RCA for over twenty five years. He was the most gung-ho company man until they transferred him from Columbia, Pa. the town he grew up in and loved to Marion Indiana, the middle of nowhere. Within six months he had a crippling stroke and revealed to me that the company was not what he had thought.

For blacks, women, and many individuals who stand out as being different there is a heightened awareness of the difficulty of finding work that is compatible with their nature. They don't fool themselve and they learn to live with it. Then there are millions of talented individuals who never learn to deal with the system and end up as dropouts or casualties drifting through life without being given the chance to develop whatever skills and abilities they have.

There are those few who do well in the mainstream, who become "masters of the universe" or at least apprentice masters. It is these few who work hard to perpetuate the system and convince everyone else that they have the same opportunity if only they work hard, bite the bullet, and keep positive. The trained observer can see through this and realize that these few are not necessarily the best or most talented but the ones who have been lucky or gifted.

I am not saying that there are not good people running our corporations who do care about their workers and about doing the right things. At the highest levels there are very good people and their are business people, politicians, and entrepreneurs who have made outstanding contributions to our society. I actually look to them to help lead us out of the troubles we have created by what I consider the manifestations of our unconsciousness. We have to expand our ability to recognize talent and not use some of the superficial ways that limit our ability to identify those with talent who are out of the mainstream.

There needs to be changes made in the existing system, We need to level the playing field and enable those who don't feel comfortable playing the games that are required for getting ahead in the existing culture to actually find a way to be productive and respected. These changes will occur. The existing system is being tested now and, in my opinion, is showing cracks. The combination of technological advancement and the breakdown of the system that rewarded appearance, flash, and deception rather than substance will result in greater opportunities for the out of the mainstream personality to find their place.

I look forward to the day when we will be able to go into a voting booth like box, fill out a detailed questionnaire, have our brain scanned, and then receive a printout with the the job and assignment exactly suited to our talents and inclinations. Don't be skeptical. It makes sense. It's possible. It's needed.

Obliviousness and Types

2009-05-30T07:29:00.000-07:00

There are people who know me well who think I am oblivious to most things. For someone studying consciousness this is not a good reputation to have. It causes my credibility to be questioned. And, as much as I try to rationalize or justify my lack of awareness of the physical world, I must admit that I do have a weakness in this area.

Yesterday I was sitting outside with a group of people. One by one they got up, went into the house and changed their clothes. I was wearing long pants, a long sleeve tee shirt, a long sleeve shirt, sweatsocks and heavy shoes. After some period of time they all came back and we resumed our conversation. One of them asked me if I was hot. I said I hadn't noticed. They had all changed into shorts and tee shirts. I had not noticed they had changed or that it was hot.

Within a few minutes one of our guests stood up and started to walk to the other side of our deck. Everyone seemed a little disturbed. There were a couple of bees flying around and it was annoying them. I had not noticed. We then went into the house to have dinner. Now that I think about it, although it did not strike me at the time, my wife on at least three occassions either wiped food off my face or reminded me to. In addition, she asked me a couple of times to pick up food I had dropped on the floor. Matter of fact, whenever our kids bring their dogs to the house the dogs always hang out at my chair during dinner.

There is no excuse for any of this. I do want to say, though, that during these periods of apparent oblivion, I am listening very carefully to what is being said and noticing intently the emotional state of everyone around me. When I enter a room of people at a party I instantly am aware of the mood of the room. Before too long I have a good handle on the gist of most of the conversations that are occurring and the dynamics of almost all the relationships. By the end of the evening I have formed a strong opinion of the consciousness and intelligence of most of the people at the party, and their level of comfort and confidence in the situation.

My wife, on the other hand, will have noticed much less about the people but will have a total picture of all the home furnishings, art work, room layouts, as well as what everyone was wearing and the color of their hair and nails. She is an artist and her perception of the world is different than mine. Whenever we go someplace she remembers all the landmarks and can easily find her way back to wherever it was that we went. I remember none of the landmarks and have no idea how we went or how to get back.

We all have strengths and weaknesses. We judge each other by what we consider to be important based on how we see the world. There are those who place more weight on appearances, manners, and politeness, and those who care more about authenticity and sincerity. There are those who are attracted to people with high intelligence and bold and aggressivness personalities and those who are attracted to kind and gentle souls.

It is important to understand that there is a physical, mental, and emotional component to our lives. Each of these components has an independent existence. Each of these components has been trained and programmed based on our nature and our experiences. Each of us sees the world and makes decisions based upon whether our primary orientation is physical (our body), mental (our minds and thoughts), or emotional (our heart and feelings).

It is very useful to understand how we perceive the world and what type we are. Neither the intellectual, emotional, or physical type is better or on a higher level. Our lives would be less stressful and more productive if we did not judge but understood our type and the type of those with whom we interact. We need to observe the functioning of our physical, mental, and emotional parts and see where we need work. I need work on the physical. I have been working on it for years. I believe I have made some progress, although my wife and closest friends might question this.

Thoughts on Money

2009-05-28T14:06:00.000-07:00

I spent the day involved in activities whose goal was making money. When I got home, ready to relax and not think about money I got a call from a friend who wanted to talk to me about money. He had just suffered what to him was a major financial setback and he wanted to share his pain a little. He is presently living on social security. He gets five hundred sixty two per month. He was expecting to get another two hundred fifty bonus this month as part of Obama's stimulus package. When he got his check, though, the $250.00 had been deducted because of a student loan he had taken and not paid back over twenty years ago. He really needed and was counting on that two hundred fifty.

My friend believes that "money is god". It is the most important thing in life and that if he had enough money his life would be perfect. He believes that money would enable him to do whatever he wanted and this would enable him to always be happy. As much as he desires money, though, he has done very little in his life to get any. He has no money at all, spends every cent he gets and works as little as possible.

There is something about the attitude that money is god that rubs me the wrong way. It has always seemed to me that there has to be more to life than making and spending money. However, if I am honest with myself I cannot understate the significance of money or deny how important it is to me. Matter of fact, when I got home tonight, wanting to relax I was thinking about playing poker. Poker would be no fun at all if it wasn't for money.

I don't think that money by itself is the answer to life's problems. I do believe that developing a healthy and balanced attitude towards money is a key to happiness. This is not a simple thing, though. I find myself constantly calculating in my mind my financial situation. I am always considering 1- how much money I have, 2-how to get more, 3-how much more I will be definitely getting, and 4-what to do with my money. Even when I had more money than I needed I still thought about these four things. My level of addiction to the these thoughts about money is high.

On one hand I can't control the endless stream of thoughts about money and my finances. On the other hand putting too much emphasis on money doesn't seem right . I wake up one day with the motivation to make a lot of money and with the atttiude that I can and will do whatever it takes. The next day it seems meaningless to be wasting my time making money when I presently I have enough to survive and why should I worry about the future. I don't beat myself up about this conflict, though, because from my observations of other people this is normal. The fact that I am aware of this battle helps me in dealing with it.

I don't think that there is a correct attitude towards money. I don't think that there are even general guidelines worth following. These guidelines are artificically created by people who want to influence us for there own reasons. We come to believe that our attitudes towards money are our own when in fact they are a result of our being programmed. It is so easy to get trapped in a lifestyle that has been created by following the beliefs, atttitudes, and goals of others, and that is not really based on a clear understanding of what we really want. This is one of the big challenges that we all face. What is important, I believe, is that we try first to understand our present attitudes and behavior in regard to money and then honestly determine what it is that we really want in our lives and how we can use money to best achieve these goals. We might be surprised by what we learn.

A Good Book

2009-05-27T07:27:00.000-07:00

A book that has influenced my thinking greatly has as its stated purpose, "To destroy mercilessly, without any compromise whatsoever, in the mentations and feelings of the reader, the beliefs and views, by centuries rooted in him, about everything existing in the world."

The book is Beelzebubs Tales to his Grandson, An Objectively Impartial Criticism of the Life of Man. The first time I attempted to read it it took me about six years. The second time was a little easier. It took five days of constant reading, probably 14 hours per day. Since then I have been browsing through it occasionally. It's a good book, but it is, I admit, a little tough to read. The author, a Russian gentlemen, intentionally made it difficult. He stated once, "I bury the bone so deep that the dogs have to scratch for it."

Why would someone write a book that is nearly impossible to read with the intention of destroying every belief that we presently have?

He is not going for the mass market.

He is looking for the rare person, who Ratso Rizzo in Midnight Cowboy aptly classified as "Wacko," who has been disappointed by every path he has searched and is desperate to find something that makes sense. This desperation creates a level of internal discomfort so great, like the worst itch that you can imagine, that it inpsires someone to attempt to read about a thousand pages that, at first glance, make no sense.

The basic premise of the book is that at some point in the past, because of some cosmic event, mankind lost the ability to see himself and the world clearly. The result is a fear and confusion that continues to plague our existence and prevent us from reaching the level of peace and contentment that we once had. In order to regain what we lost we must relearn everything we believe to be true, hence the necessity to destroy all of our existing beliefs.

This may seem a little radical and unrealistic. However, when you acknowledge the depth of the problems we are facing it does makes sense that the solution is not simple. I don't imagine that we can unlearn everything that we have been taught for the last five thousand years. What I do think is possible and would be extremely valuable is if we began to question many of our beliefs, especially those that we are most attached to. The consequences of this might inspire a series of forces that might begin to enable us to get along with each other a little better.

The message of this book is not to convince the reader of anything but to implant within the mind and heart of the reader a seed of doubt and discomfort from which a new world might be created. This is a big idea. To begin to question the advice of so called experts and authorities. To begin to give up some of the crutches that we have used to enable us to deal with the uncertainty and insecurity of our day to day existence--well, it's tough. But it is freeing and in my mind exciting.

This book is just one of the many tools that are being made available to us now. They actually have always been available, but now more than ever we need to dig our way out of the trap that has been created to test our muster and spirit. We can if we want leave everything in God's hands. But I don't think that this is what He wants from us now.

My Time as a Mole

2009-05-25T10:06:00.001-07:00

I watched the movie "Donnie Brasco" this morning. It was about an undercover FBI agent (Johnny Depp) who infiltrates the mafia. In one of the scenes he and his fellow mobsters go into a Japanese restaurant. Everyone is asked, as is custom, to take off their shoes. Johnny knows he can't do it or the wire in his boot will be revealed. He makes a big scene about not wanting to follow Japanese customs because his uncle was killed in WWII.

The movie reminded me of the time I was recruited by the FBI to infiltrate the radical branch of SDS, the Weathermen. It actually reminded me of an exact moment during that episode. I was in college. It was 1968. I was sitting alone in the campus coffee shop, The Sugar Bowl, (great french fries) when this young, short haired guy sat down next to me. He asked me if I might take a walk to discuss a matter of importance to American security.

"Sure," I said. "No problem."

I figured it had something to do with a potential assassination of the president. Another FBI agent had recently come to my fraternity to question us about some rumors: apparently, one of my fraternity brothers had made threatening remarks about President Johnson.

This young, short haired guy told me me that the government needed my help to infiltrate a dangerous, anti-war group. I had never heard of SDS or the Weathermen. I was pretty much apolitical. He told me to my surprise that a girl with whom I was having a casual sexual relationship was sharing a house, off campus, with two SDS members. He told me I would have to wear a wire, and try to tape some incriminating conversations.

I viewed myself as a loyal American. I accepted the assignment. I did not tell my mother; she would have freaked out. I didn't tell anyone until now. I guess the burden of carrying this secret for all these years has finally gotten to me. It's not easy when you risk your life for your country and can't reveal any of the details.

I had only been to the house one time and had no immediate plans to go back. My only motivation in contacting this girl was sex. She wasn't very attractive, which pains me to say, because all girls are beautiful, especially when you're having sex with them, and she was especially nice. Her parents died. When I first met her she was living with her grandmother. She was happy to have moved out, to have found two likable roommates.

Shortly after my conversation with the Fed, I was feeling a little horny, which was not unusual for me at the time. I called the girl and asked her if I could come over for a few hours. She said there was a meeting going on but it would probably be all right if we stayed in her room. I immediately called the contact number given to me by the agent. I spoke the code word, EGG
ROLL, and hung up. I had chosen the word as one I would not forget.

Within fifteen minutes my contact agent arrived at my house. I was living at home at the time, only fifteen minutes from my college campus. I introduced the agent to my mother as one of my professors who was giving me some extra tutoring. We went into my room. Fortunately my sister was out at the time (we still shared a room). He pulled out the wire, asked me to undress and put it on me. He then took it off and asked me to put it on. I fumbled a little but I finally got it right.

He went outside to the front of my building in the project. I spoke normally. He came back and said everything tested A-OK.

I arrived at the girl's house within an hour. I wasn't very nervous. My mind was primarily on sex. She greeted me at the door and quickly escorted me through the living room to her bedroom. There had been eight or ten long haired types sitting around in the living room. There were a lot of papers lying around. No one seemed especially dangerous but I was inexperienced in these matters.

We went into her bedroom and started making out. I began to unbutton her blouse. I then realized that if I undressed my wire would be revealed. How could I not have thought of this before? This was the exact moment I was reminded of in watching "Donnie Brasco today. He handled it cooly and was able to get past the moment without exposing himself. I was not that cool and began to panic. I didn't know what to do. I finally told her that I was suddenly feeling sick and needed to go home. I called my FBI contact as soon as I got home and explained what had happened. I told him this was not for me and asked him to come pick up the wire.

"No problem," he said.

He came right over and picked up the wire. I never heard from him again. I hadn't thought about this much until now. I feel better now that I have revealed this story. Maybe I'll reveal other stuff that I have been holding back.

George Carlin, Religion, and Atheism

2009-05-24T19:20:00.000-07:00

The late George Carlin was a funny guy. His comments were disturbing but for the most part right on. One of his most penetrating insights into religion was his comment that over 65% of the United States population believes that there is a super human being living up in the sky who looks down on us and judges our actions. If we are good he allows us to live with him. If we are bad he sentences us to an eternity of torture and suffering without any hope of escape. And he loves us.

I guess you can spin this many different ways. But fundamentally, this is the basic belief system of both Christianity and Islam. I'm not sure about Judaism. Their concept of heaven and hell is more ambiguous and subject to individual interpretation. Matter of fact the Jews have so many different interpretations of the bible that somewhere in their vast body of commentaries you can find any viewpoint you want.

I feel a little guilty when I criticize religion because it does have some value and I believe that there is a truth and valuable teaching behind all the great religions. However, there are too many aspects of fundamental religious beliefs that are at best problematic and at worst destructive and harmful to our progress.

First of all the emphasis on faith as the final determining factor of belief no matter how illogical or unbelievable are the religious stories undermines logic and science. This type of thinking holds us back and hinders our advancment. It is an antilife type of thinking, although it is ironically called "pro-life" I am not just talking about abortion . I am talking about the fundamental religious view that glorifies death and the after-life at the expense of enjoying ourselves in the here and now.

I also have a problem with the religious emphasis on worship of god. Why would an all powerful, all loving god desire worship? Why does he need to continually remind us of our helplessness and sinful ways. If he emphasized our need to be logical and see things clearly rather than believe based on faith in a supernatural world we would get all the humility we require. Also, why he is worried about putting other gods before him or worshipping other gods. It seems he should encourage us to be skeptical and check out all of his competitors or pretenders so that our ultimate belief would be a result of choice rather than fear.

Although religion in its present form has plenty of weaknesses, atheism makes even less sense. How can we be totally positive that there is no god.? We can't. The reason that atheism is growing in popularity is that the religious point of view alienates those who assume they are scientific and logical. The bottom line is that religion has not marketed itself well and has not delivered on its promises. The world has not gotten better because of religion. It has gotten better because of science and enlightened thinking based on a belief in the power of the individual rather than that of an unseen supernatural being.

None of this means that God does not exist or that there is not a MAPOL that can be investigated and discovered. We need to rethink our religions, probably eliminate all of them that believe they have the whole truth, and admit that at the present time we really don't know why we are here or how we got here.

Money Sex and Health

2009-05-23T05:21:00.000-07:00

For the average person money, sex, and health are the three main challenges in life. At some point all of us face each of them. We all have issues surrounding making a living, finding and maintaining intimate relationships, and taking care of of our bodies. The challenges are not about overcoming problems associated with these issues but about developing a perspective that enables us to deal with them without becoming overwhelmed, obsessed, or incapable of action.

These three issues are supercharged emotionally. What this means is that not only are we constantly struggling with them but we develop strong viewpoints about how to deal with them or avoid dealing with them. We begin to believe that our viewpoints are the best ones and that they apply to everyone. We judge those who disagree with us or act in ways that are contrary to what we believe are correct. This causes disagreements, stresses, and adds to the pressures that coping with these issues already generates.

Compounding the problem is that we are constantly being lectured, coached, reminded, preached to, and in general bombarded from a multitude of sources about what is the best way to handle each of these areas. Here are some of the titles of articles that I noticed just today:

DO'S AND DONT'S OF SNOOPING ON YOUR BOYFRIEND

DO YOU HAVE A SPENDING PROBLEM?

EXPERTS PREDICT SWINE FLU RETURNS IN THE FALL

THE OBESITY PARADOX

2009 GRADS COULD FACE LOW PAY FOR A DECADE

LITTLE INCOME, LOTS OF EQUITY AND THE PROS AND CONS OF HELOC (whatever that is

HAPPINESS ON YOUR OWN TERMS CAN HAPPEN

10 MISTAKES THAT ADD 10 YEARS

EVEN GROWN UPS NEED SHOTS (uh oh)

FAST TRACK TO FLEX APPEAL

KEEPING UP WITH THE WANGS AND PATELS

4 WAYS RETIREES CAN BATTLE INFLATION

10 WAYS TO END YOUR MARRIAGE (slip out the back jack,)

THATS SO 2005-WHAT WERE WE THINKING?

6 REASONS NOT TO SAVE FOR COLLEGE

START TODAY SAVING FOR COLLEGE

START ENJOYING YOUR SEX LIFE

WHY WAITING IS BETTER

HOW TO ESCAPE THE RAT RACE (i might read that)

A BUDGET CURE, MARIJUANA TAXES? (might read that also)

MEMORIAL DAY DEALS THAT YOU CAN'T AFFORD TO MISS (not interested)

HOW TO ENHANCE YOUR TATOO

HOW DO I KNOW IF HE LIKES ME?

WHY DOES EVERYBODY TALK ABOUT LOVE?

THIRTEEN AND STRETCH MARKS

IS IT POSSIBLE TO STUNT YOUR GROWTH?

I'm sure you get the picture. If you believe this stuff it can get very confusing. Ira's 1st law of media opinions. For every point of view there is an opposite and equal point of view. What is the answer to this mess of conflicting advice and internal programming? In my opinion its all about freeing yourself from your programming by observing your thoughts and actions without judgement and then committing yourself to learning what do you want. What do you really want? We hardly ever ask ourselves this important question.
.

Viewing Life and Money Objectively

2009-05-22T16:20:00.000-07:00

It's easy to get depressed. Especially when you listen to the news or read the best selling books about the collapsing economy, environmental toxins, terrorist threats, inefficient government, pandemic viruses, and multitude of scams and ripoffs that threaten us every day. But it doesn't make sense to dwell on the negative. Not only does it not make sense but most of this negative stuff are exaggerations of the media to get and keep our attention and justify their jobs.

I mean you can find tons of things that are wrong with the world, with your friends and family, and with yourself . Nothing seems to work the way you think it should and the dreams of childhood are quickly squelched by the realities of making a living and having to take care of yourself.

However, there is a lot of good in the world presently and more importantly there is a lot of good stuff to look forward to. Most importantly much of the negative stuff isn't real. It is our interpretation of what is happening. Yes, you can create negative scenarios and spin events to paint a scary picture. But life, especially in the United States is pretty good. Most of the things that upset us or trouble us only do so because we have unrealistic expectations. If we would just accept the fact that we all have weaknesses and flaws and learn to be more accepting and understanding of the truth of our rather humorous condition rather than complaining and judging, the world would appear much brighter.

One of our major areas of concern is money. However,if we are honest and objective, whether we are rich or poor all our lives are pretty much the same. It is true that if you have money you can eat in better restaurants, drive nicer cars, have bigger houses, and go on more luxurious vacations. It does seem, I admit, that money makes life easier but most of the things that we do that take up our time are not dependent on money. They are dependent on our attitudes and our inner state. All of us, no matter how rich we are have to spend all our time with ourselves and our thoughts. This is the great equalizer.

Everyone has to live with their own thoughts, go to the bathroom, sleep, and deal with other people. No matter how much money you have you can only sit in one chair in one part of your house. If you love your chair and are content in your space no amount of money can improve this. No amount of money can make a dish of ice cream with chocolate syrup any more delicious.

All the money in the world cannot give you more pleasure from reading, surfing the internet, listening to music, watching your favorite sports team, holding your child or grandchild, or expressing your opinion about any subject that interests you. It is very hard to gain a healthy and realistic perspective about money. We are so conditioned to believe that having money is equated with happiness. And when we don't have much money it can be especially hard to feel good about ourselves and our lives.

I've had periods in my life when I've had a lot of money, much more than I needed. It was nice. But mostly what it did was enable me to realize that having money is a little overrated. The problem is not with money. There is nothing wrong with having money, spending money, and having nice things. The problem is what we have to sacrifice to get it and how much of our identity and sense of self worth is dependent on whether we have money or not.

My main point is that life is good. It actually is terrific. It's is the best thing that we know of and beats any other alternative. Why be depressed? Why let the creations of the media or others get you down? Try to find a way to live each day appreciating what you have and doing the things that make you happy. Remember what Socrates said, "Enjoy yourself, its later than you think."

Listening to Socrates

2009-05-20T18:39:00.000-07:00

Socrates was a smart guy. If you doubt that you should check out some of his thinking in the dialogues of Plato. He spent most of his time hanging out on the streets with his friends discussing the MAPOL (meaning and purpose of life). It's valuable, in my opinion, to explore some of his conclusions after years of conversations and study. One of his most famous quotes is "The Unexamined Life is not Worth Living". Another famous one is "Know Thyself:" It's worth spending a little time considering these statements.

We need to start any quest for learning about ourselves with the realization that we don't really know ourselves. We ascribe certain abilities and traits to ourselves and imagine that we are one way or another. We live our lives under many illusions. The main one is that we believe that we already do know ourselves. We believe that we have made choices in the past and that we can make choices in the future, when in fact most of the things that happen to us are a result of accident. We believe that we are consistent in our thinking and that we are the same person each day. In fact we are very inconsistent and we have many different personalities, each of which believes that it is who we really are.

The view that we don't know ourselves and that before we can progress in our lives and reach any level of happiness or contentment we need to get to know ourselves is one of the consistent threads of thought that runs through the thinking of all religions and philosophies. All the problems in the world can be traced to this simple and undeniable fact. We don't know ourselves and because we act without any real knowledge of who we are and what we need we are capable of any action, even the most irrational and self-destructive.

When you really begin to understand this about the human condition, you can begin to appreciate the "Terror of the Situation". We are living in a world that for the most part consists of people who are out of control. Under the right conditions they are capable of doing anything, and justifying their actions with some belief system that has them hypnotized into believing that they really do know who they are and what are the right things to do.

I don't want to paint too negative a picture. Matter of fact what I am describing here is usually hidden information. Most people are not ready or willing to hear it or understand it. There is actually the possibility that we can escape from this situation and create a world that enables us to achieve a level of peace and happiness. It all begins with self-knowledge.

Socrates spoke about accomplishing this through his student Plato in "The Republic". P.D Ouspensky spoke about the possibility of creating a new man and a better world in "In Search of the Miraculous." Jesus in "The Sermon on the Mount" points the way towards the possibility of creating a new life and turning our exisiting world topsy turvy.

Socrates, though, more than anything was a realist and gave this advice to those who don't want to think about any of this stuff which I imagine is most of us. What he said was, "Enjoy yourself, it's later than you think."

Adventures in Self-Awareness

2009-05-19T10:16:00.000-07:00

I just had a little fight with my wife. On my walk this morning while I was thinking about my blog I accidentally stepped into a bucket of wet cement outside the library. Fortunately there was an older woman who observed me and was able to help me out before I fell down. She also suggested that I immediately rinse my shoes off before the cement hardened if I wanted to save my shoes. I probably wouldn't have thought of that but I like these shoes. I wear them every day.

I went into the library, returned two overdue books (which aggravates my wife to begin with since we are on a tight budget) and then went directly into the bathroom. I rinsed off my shoes completely. Surprisingly I made a little mess while doing this. There was water, drying cement, and dirt on the sink and a little got on the floor.

While I was doing this the janitor came into the bathroom. He looked at me. The water was running a little harder than it should have been creating more splash than probably was necessary. My shoes were off and I was cleaning them with a paper towel. There was a pile of dirty paper towels nearby. One had accidentally fell on the floor.

He said to me, "You really made a mess here." Don't you know this is a public place. You shouldn't be cleaning your shoes here."

I responded a little weakly trying to explain to him about the bucket of cement and the fact that I needed to clean my shoes quickly before the cement dried.

He said, "I think you should leave."

I asked if it would be OK if it took out a book or two.

He said, "Maybe you should come back another day."

I said, "OK" and left.

When I got home I told my wife this story and she got upset with me. She feels I continually embarass myself and should be a little more aware of what I am doing. She was in a little bit of bad mood anyway since she was in the middle of filling out some complicated insurance forms. She hates doing this type of stuff. She needed our 2008 taxes to include with the forms. I told her they were downstairs. She went downstairs, got them, and used the information from these taxes to complete the forms.

After a few minutes, I heard her yell "Fuck".

I said, "What's the matter?"

She said she just noticed that she had copied information on the form from our 2007 taxes, not our 2008 taxes. The 2008 taxes were right below the 2007 taxes. She had ruined the forms and now was faced with the task of finding new forms and filling them out from scratch. She immediately blamed me saying that I was disorganized.

"Who puts the 2007 taxes on top of the 2008." she said.

I replied, "You should have looked at the dates before you copied the information." You are just as unaware as I am except in a different way. I stepped in cement and was not paying attention. You copied information from the wrong forms because you were not paying attention. What's the difference?"

"There is a big difference", she said. "You are constantly doing shit like this. '

I started to write this blog to make the point that we all are unaware in our own way and that we see very easily the way others are unaware but not the way we are unaware ourselves. Now that I have completed it though I must admit that my real motivation was to take the pressure off myself and calm my wife down. I think I'm going to have to take her out to dinner.

Baseball, Theoretical Physics, and MAPOL

2009-05-18T17:32:00.000-07:00

I was walking on the beach with a friend this weekend discussing theoretical physics and string theory. He had just completed reading a book on parallel universes and was trying to explain this to me. He told me a story about three umpires who were discussing their approach to balls and strikes.

The first umpire said, "I call them based on what they are. If they are strikes I call them strikes. If they are balls I call them balls.

The second umpire said, "I call them the way I see them."

The third umpire said, "Whatever I call them, that's what they are."

This pretty much summarizes the different views of reality. View number one is that there is a reality independent of our existence that we can identify, classify and know. This reality is the same for everyone and it is up to us to learn to see it clearly. This reality is based on Newtonian physics. Newton saw the universe as a machine which acted according to very specific laws that could be calculated and understood mathematically. If we understood these laws and the mathematics behind them we could accurately predict the movements of bodies in the universe and ultimately all reality was knowable and predictable. The theories of Newton helped create a scientific revolution that resulted in the world moving into an age where man began to believe that he could control and influence the forces of nature.

View number two is that reality is different for each of us depending on our point of view and overall peceptive skills. This reality is the one espoused by Einstein in his theory of relativity. According to Einstein there was not a fixed reality that was based on mathematical laws. Reality was relative to the speed and position of the observer. He developed this theory by noticing that the orbit of Mercury did not correspond exactly to what Newton predicted it should. Einstein's thinking enabled us to unleash the power of the atom but also created a level of humility regarding our ability to see the world accurately.

View number three is that we create our own reality and then we name it and act as if it is the truth. This view is embodied in the theories of quantum physics, and especially Heisenberg's "theory of uncertainty' Quantum physics has caused scientists to question whether or not reality exists independently of our consciousness. It seems from a mathematical viewpoint and from the experiments of quantum physicists that there is no fixed realtiy, that there is no solid matter and that reality is created primarily by our observation and perceptions of that observation.

String theory is the latest advancement in our thinking. Although it has not yet gained universal acceptance in the scientific community it is pointing to the existence of a multidimensional reality that intersect and curve in ways that make our conventional definitions of space and time meaningless. The technological possibilities that may come from this level of thinking include space and time travel as well as understanding mathematically the nature of creation itself.

We have continued to progress scientifically since Newton's discovered the basic laws of physics. There is no reason to think that we will not continue to progress and there is high probability that our progress will accelerate. We are getting to the time when spiritual thinking and scientific thinking are merging. Any serious student of the MAPOL must take the discoveries and theories of science and theoretical physics into account in formulating their own belief systems. This is a very exciting time. We must keep our minds open to all possibilities.

Ryan's Christening and Ethical Dilemmas

2009-05-17T16:20:00.000-07:00

I just got home from my grandson's christening. It was my first christening. Being Jewish I guess this is not unusual. Overall I thought it was a positive experience. Obviously the star was Ryan who after establishing a reputation during his brief life for crying toughed it out and in a period of one and half hours did not cry at all. It made me wonder about the existence of the holy spirit who the priest referenced more than once as being an intimate part of the ceremony.

After leaving the church I called my mother in California. I told her I was leaving church after attending Baby Ryan's christening. Her first response was something about Christmas. I repeated again that I was at a christening. Her next response had to do with something about food. I repeated it twice more and could not get her to either hear or understand.

I finally said, "I was at a baptism in a Catholic Church."

Her immediate response was, "Did they discuss abortion."

I said, "Ma this had nothing to do with abortion."

She said, "I thought you said you were at a Catholic church."

I said, "They didn't discuss abortion. It was a ceremony for Baby Ryan."

She said, "Aren't the Catholics against abortion."

I said, "How are you feeling?"

She then said, "Don't ask, I don't want to upset you, but I had a terrible night?

I said, "What are you doing now?"

She said , "Waiting for Obama to speak. He's going to speak about abortion."

I quickly changed the subject, not because I have any opinion one way or the other, but because it's a little to complicated a subject to discuss with my ninety year old mother who can't hear or understand over the phone.

The abortion question is a tricky one. I am against abortions in general but cannot say for sure that it is against any universal laws so I am pro-choice. One of the more interesting points regarding abortion was one I learned from reading the book "Freakonomics." The author, a well respected economist, basic premise is that we oftentimes misinterpret facts and that in many cases things are not the way they seem to be. Right up my alley. He cites the case of the declining crime rate in New York City. Many people believed this was because of actions of Mayor Giuliani and a general tightening by the police of their vigilance against minor crimes and minor criminals.

After studying the statistics carefully the author's conclusion is that the lower crime rate can be directly attributed to the legalization of abortion. Prior to this, the rich could easily have abortions while the poor unwed mother from the ghetto was forced to have her baby and bring it up in conditions of poverty without any father. Many kids from this type of background ended up as criminals. By lowering the incidence of these births through abortion there was a corresponding decrease in the crime rate.

This issue is one of a few including legalization of internet gambling and legalization of marijuana that is in the news right now. When you listen to arguments about these issues both sides are passionate and make many good points that are hard to refute. I listened to a debate about the legalization of internet gambling the other night. The first gentlemen was in favor of internet gambling. He believed that its popularity was growing tremendously anyway and that legalization would help generate greatly needed tax revenues. I could not agree more.

The second gentlemen said that internet gambling was creating a level of addiction that was greater than had been seen with any previous type of gambling. The ease of having gambling right at your fingertips twenty-four hours a day was proving to be almost irresistible to those with gambling tendencies. I could not agree more.

Obama said today in regard to abortion that we must keep the dialogue open. We need to respect each other's opinions and try to find some ground for compromise, although he acknowledged that there was a fundamental disagreement between both sides. That sounds good but doesn't lead to any solution.

In my mind there is no solution to these issues. The focus about these matters of personal morality and ethics needs to be changed. We cannot change behavior through legislation or through conversation. It has not not worked for thousands of years and does not seem to be working now. What has worked is that our civilization has progressed in a natural way. It is less barbaric and brutal than it once was, although there are those who will argue this point and I must acknowledge that we still have a long way to go.

We spend too much time, energy, and money, focusing on issues that may be interesting but are not clear cut or important, In my opinion it comes down to each of us working on our own personal development and having productive days. There is big change coming. The world that Ryan will be living in when he is thirty, thirty years from now, will be almost unrecognizable to the one that we live in today. The issues that we deem important now will seem petty then. We need to prepare him as best we can, although I have the feeling that he will do it himself.

A Night with Slumdog

2009-05-16T07:35:00.000-07:00

I watched "Slumdog Millionaire" last night. I enjoyed it. I actually stopped playing poker while it was on. My favorite movies are usually teen oriented like "Fast Times at Ridgemont High", "Clueless", "Sixteen Candles", "The Breakfast Club", and "Risky Business." I also like action movies like "Rambo", "Die Hard", "Lethal Weapon", and "The Terminator." This movie though did keep my attention.

I'm sure that those who watched the movie were upset by the conditions for children in India. What I noticed was that, although there was poverty and extreme filth, it wasn't all bad. The kids did seem to have a lot of fun , adventure, and excitement. Those that survived learned to take care of themselves and deal with adversity. India is the first or second fastest growing country in the world. We used to think of it, especially in my hippe days, as this horrible, backwards country, where material existence was sacrificed for spiritual development. Today India seems to be combining Western and Eastern values to produce a successful balance.

The most interesting part of the movie for me was the transcendent love affair of Jamal for Latika. It is only under the most difficult conditions that a love like this can exist. A love that overcomes all challenges, setbacks, and seemingly impossible conditions to ultimately triumph is inspiring. The dreamer believes in happy endings. The cynic thinks they probably ended up fighting and hating each other.

What is true, though, is that the ability to imagine the existence of a love that overcomes all obstacles , by itself, points to man's higher nature. Also, the brother after a life of crime and corruption was willing to sacrifice himself to see true love prevail, and his brother happy. The cynic sees this as "Hollywoodish". The dreamer believes that good triumphs in the end . It is easy to see truth in both points of view. What is hard is to live without being attached to either point.

The question of religion was not an issue in this movie. It seemed that the main characters were muslim, although in the book the hero's identity was left intentionally unclear. His name in the book was Ram Mohammed Thomas a combination of Hindu, Muslim and Christian. There also was no political or ideological viewpoint being expressed in "Slumdog." It was a move that presented the essence of twenty-first century Western game show, "let's made a deal", consciousness uniting with a five thousand year old culture of raw survival. I think that shows some creativity.

Tentative Conclusions on MAPOL

2009-05-14T12:32:00.000-07:00

If life is a mystery, then discovering life's secrets requires thinking like a detective. Being a good detective requires looking for clues. Where do you look for clues? If there were twenty people at the scene of an accident, only one or two would be good witnesses. What makes a good witness?

I don't enjoy having conversations with people whose sole purpose is convincing me of their point of view. More enjoyable, and valuable, is a purposeful conversation, a mutual discovery. Most people are not interested in discovering the truth; most people are interested in defending their exisitng beliefs.

If you google "meaning of life" you'll find over thirty five million results. If you google "purpose of life" you will find over fifty eight million results. There are a lot of opinions, theories, and viewpoints about the meaning and purpose of life (MAPOL.) If you are a seeker of the truth how do you cull through this mass of information? How do you find quality information, worthwhile clues, reliable witnesses?

Some will claim they can end this search immediately; they might tell me to look in the bible. "All the answers are there," they might say.

Others will agree: the bible has the answers, but only their bible, or their interpretation of the bible.

Some will insist I am on a wild goose chase. There is no meaning and purpose to life. Life is what you make it and it is different for each person.

Any point of view that ends the search for the meaning and purpose does not go far enough. Although I have not found the answer to this question, I have found good clues, better witnesses. Some individuals have spent their life studying these issues; many supply good insights or information that might be useful in solving this mystery of life. Others dabble: power and glory seekers, charlatans, and delusional thinkers--these ideas, too, are included in the millions of results showing up on Google.

A good clue holds up to intense scrutiny, fits with the body of evidence. In regard to the MAPOL, there are constant themes that continue to reappear over thousands of years and across all of the world's population. These to me represent real clues, not answers, but sign posts that lead in a certain direction. Let me try to express some of my tentative conclusions. They are primarily the results of my life experiences. I am also including books, individuals, and general subjects that have impacted me.

1-We cannot determine the MAPOL in our existing condition. We do not have the intelligence or the tools. We have a limited perception of reality. (Plato, Einstein, Gurdjieff, Jung)

2-We have tremendous potential that we do not use. There are methods that can be used to tap this potential. Once we begin to tap this potential the world and our lives change and expand. (P.D, Ouspensky, Cosmic Consciousness by Joseph Bucke, Think and Grow Rich by Napoleon Hill)

3-The primary method of tapping our potential requires two activities. The first is to be more present in the moment, less reactive, less controlled by our programming, and more free to witness the now. The second is to learn to get along with each other, to be more kind, compassionate, understanding, and generous--to experience a certain feeling of love for all organic life, especially those close to us. (Jesus, Eckhardt Tolle)

4-Once we begin a real search for the MAPOL, we recognize at all times, in all situations, and all relationships, that things may not and usually are not the way they seem to be. This viewpoint helps keep us more objective and less subject to brainwashing. The greater our objectivity the more free we are to progress on our path. (Theoretical Physics, Beelzebubs tales by Gurdjieff, Khrisnamurti, Buddhism)

5-In physical reality there are laws that govern actions. These laws can be discovered and used to improve our lives. We have not discovered all these laws but will continue to discover more and more. (Theoretical Physics,

6-There is a spiritual reality. This reality cannot be seen by our ordinary senses. There are different laws that govern this reality that can also be discovered and used for our benefit. (Human Personality and its Survival of Bodily Death by G.W.Myers, Boris Mouravieff, Rodney Collin, The Seth Material, Rudolph Steiner)

7-There is a hierarchy of energy. This is expressed in many ways by different traditions and teachers. What it means is that there are more refined substances that vibrate at a higher or faster level and more dense substances that vibrate at a slower or lower level. It is possible to learn about these levels of energy, how to use them, contact them, or invoke their presence. (Kaballah, Alice Bailey, E.J. Gold, Millie Benoit)

Writing this blog has been a good exercise for me.

Having Productive Days

2009-05-13T18:37:00.000-07:00

I spent the evening watching T.V. and playing poker. This is not unusual. I spent the day coaching a client, a 40 year old owner of a contracting company. One of the main themes that I tried to bring across was the importance of having productive days. I went into great detail about what it meant to have a productive business day and then I described what it meant to have a productive personal day.

I explained to him that a productive business day for him consisted of three main activities. 1-maximizing cash flow/make sure that everything that could be done to bring in money was being done. 2-new business development/getting new deals. 3-training his staff/ working with them on improving their knowledge of their jobs and improving their being or their ability to get done what they know they should be doing. Knowledge training has to do with transferring information. Training in being has to do with honesty, integrity, discipline, sensitivity, and compassion, those things that make you a better person.

I then explained that a productive personal day consisted of doing at least one thing to improve yourself mentally, physically, and emotionally. Mental improvement might involve reading, writing, or speaking with real purpose. Physical improvement consisted of conscious eating and exercise. Emotional work might include doing something kind or generous that was out of the ordinary or appreciating something beautiful.

While I was coaching my client I was convinced that what I was saying was definitely true and valuable. As soon as I got home my main focus was to eat something tasty, fix myself a glass of vodka, turn on the television, and start playing poker. I wonder whether or not I am being hypocritical.

I have thought about this quite a bit. In my mind how you spend your time and what you do each day is the measure of a man's life. It does not make sense to judge yourself too harshly or drive yourself too hard. What does make sense is to be a student of life, especially of your own life. What is especially important is to know what it is that makes you happy and observe how you are spending your time in relation to this understanding. To not let days, weeks, months, or years go by without taking stock of what you want and whether or not you are doing what you want. It does not make sense to me to judge or compare. There are a few key rules that are important to follow in order for us to exist with each other in a safe environment. Other than that we should enjoy, experiment, explore, and relax.

I notice many people around me are struggling with many different issues. It seems that this is an especially difficult time. What is difficult is that some of the values that we had accepted as being important and that gave us our identity, such as success, money, retirement, security, control, and belief in our infallibility are being challenged. We are no longer sure that we know what the future holds. We never did. The only thing that we can do is try to live each day as best we can and think, without judgement, what it is that we are doing.

Tomorrow I will try to do better and have a productive day.

An Important Book

2009-05-12T07:14:00.000-07:00

I just completed an excellent book, Infidel, by Ayaan Hirsi Ali. It is an inspiring story of a Muslim women from Somalia who rebels and overcomes the incredible oppression of her family, religion, and culture. I usually don't like to recommend books or restaurants unless I can give someone the book or pay for their meal but I thought this was an especially valuable book.

Aside from the fact that it was well written and interesting it actually impacted my thinking. After 9/11 I had believed that anti-muslim sentiment was overblown and that for the most part, muslim fanaticism was restricted to a small percent of the muslim world. Islam is the second largest religion in the world with over a billion adherents. It was hard to believe that a mainstream religion could support war, terrorism, suicide bombings, killing of all Jews, and the total oppression of women. It was possible that a small percent of muslims might participate in these practices and even that a larger percent, maybe ten, would sympathize with these ideas. What I didn't think was real was that these anti-humanistic views could be a fundamental part of the basic belief structure of a world religion.

Now I know you shouldn't believe everything you read or see on TV, but this book struck me as being a sincere, accurate, account of muslim thinking. It pointed out that the major theme of the Koran, the holiest muslim text, was that the purpose of life on earth was to submit to Allah's laws, and that life on earth was a test to determine our place in the afterlife. There are constant references in the Koran to the necessity to destroy non-believers and that what happens to us on earth is insignificant compared to the glory of our eternity with Allah in heaven. The suicide bombers, who crashed planes into the World Trade Center were not isolated fanatics but the embodiment of fundamental Islamic thinking.

Ali's purpose, in writing this book, was to make the world aware of the cruel and unreasonable nature of Islam , especially of their treatment of women and of their potential threat to world peace. In her attempt to get this message out she hooked up with a Dutch film maker (some descendant of Van Gogh) to make a mini-documentary. It was called Submission I. Shortly after it was released Van Gogh was brutally murdered. A letter threatening Ali was stuck in his chest by a knife. Since that time she has been in hiding protected by the Dutch secret service.

As I write this I feel a little internally disturbed because it goes against my basic world view that there could be this degree of bad stuff in a religion that is followed by so many people. I have always been suspicious of campaigns that vilify any groups of people. I have come to believe that governments and those behind governments, if they exist, oftentimes create enemies to increase their own power. When there is a clearly defined bad guy, the government becomes more important as a protector. This tactic has been effectively used for thousands of years by governments and power groups. The threats of communism were greatly magnified (according to information released by the CIA) by the US to justify the governments actions and expenditures for the Cold War. Jews, blacks, Christians, witches, American Indians, have all been used as scapegoats to rally the masses against a common enemy and strengthen those in power.

However Hitler was really a bad guy. There have been other wackos throughout history who needed to be stopped and ignoring them was costly. I am not totally sure what is the real threat of Islam. After reading this book, though, I am a little more concerned that this could be a real problem. I am going to do more research to try to get an even clearer perspective. I would like to know what the Dalai Lama thinks.

Glenwood Projects

2009-05-10T07:43:00.000-07:00

I lived at 1736 Ralph Avenue from three to twenty-one. It was a six story building with five apartments on each floor, thirty apartments in all. There were forty building exactly like this in the Glenwood Projects, 1200 total families. Each family had approximately two children. There were at least 2500 kids in the projects and the homes surrounding the projects. I knew almost everyone of them. And because I was interested in people I knew them more than superficially.

This was a tremendous educational experience for me. I learned to deal with all types of personalities and temperaments. Every type you could imagine was represented in this mix. Brilliant musicians and aggressive bullies. Super athletes and flaming homosexuals. Beautiful women and deformed Mongoloids. There were seven foot giants and four foot midgets. There were those who died in Vietnam, in car crashes, from suicides, or fatal diseases. Some ended up in jail; many more who should have, but never got caught. There were those who dropped out of school in elementary school and others who ended up with PHDs. There were kind and generous kids, mean and selfish ones. There was someone who was talented in every possible activity you could consider; others whose sociopath proclivities were frightening. There were neurotics and psychotics, religious fanatics, and crusaders for all conceivable causes and movements.

My friend of fifty years, Campi, compiled some of the nicknames he remembered that might give you a flavor of the neighborhood:

Toes Fischer- (walked on his Toes)
Arnie the Gangster- (tough guy, or thought he was)
King Anthony- (ruled the lots around the projects)
Corny- (wore a Cornell sweatshirt)
Tuba- (professional gambler; announcer of all neighborhood sports events)
Ocky- (long arms flailing around)
Lennie the Beak- (obvious)
Tony the Bagel Man- (sold bagels; had sex with the project slut)
Mook- (hard core druggie)
Richie King (con man extraordinaire; worth a few blogs himself; real name forgotten)
Killer Cohen- (very gentle guy)
Stinky- (went out with my sister, became Hasidic Jew)
Clarabelle- (fired bullets over Campi's head while he was filming porno film)
Big Took and Little Took- (athletes and gamblers)
Iggy Rats, Piggy, and Puppy
Harry the Horse- (father a cop; became a fugitive, also worth a few blogs)
Buck, Bucky, and Ducky
Beef, Bull, Buffalo, Goose, Snake, Beaver (became wealthy, interested in Roman civilization)
The Mayor- (stayed in his room for two years smoking pot and taking LSD, produced an incredible painting that if ever discovered by a future generation would be revered as a religious masterpiece.)
Walter Stringbean (on the thin side)
Dingleberry (female impersonator at age ten)
Paula Pineapple (nice pineapples)
Shtunk- (became a life insurance exec, probably never revealed nickname)
Instructor- (suspected of pedophilia, probably in jail)
Junior Sirico -(tough guy, frightening, supposedly killed a woman, became Paulie on the Sopranos)

I could go on, but you get the drift. The main point is even in a small one square mile neighborhood, there were all types of people. Our world is made up of billions of individuals. We each are unique but in a fundamental way connected. I learned early on that it was easier to survive when you were more accepting of differences, when you could make fun of each other and not hold on to it the next day. There were those in the neighborhood who were dangerous and needed to be restrained or rehabilitated, but the overwhelming majority were just unique characters with there own views and idiosyncrasies.

We have created a website, glenwoodprojects.net.

Waiting for The Plumber

2009-05-09T07:33:00.000-07:00

I am waiting for the plumber. Actually, my wife is; she's the one who made the appointment. He told her he would be here at 10:00. It's 10:45, no call, no plumber. This is typical. He'll probably get here around noon; he'll actually believe he's on time because he got held up at his last job--the one he should have completed yesterday.

Yesterday we bought a new grill: $300.0 plus delivery. The grill doesn't work. I can't get it started. I called Ace Hardware. The guy who handles the grills wasn't in. The guy who answered the call wasn't sure when he would be in. I told him we bought the grill because we were having a barbecue; we had invited ten people over. He said the grill guy would call as soon as he got in.

I said, "That's not the greatest customer service."

"He will do his best," he said.

Wells Fargo called me three times this week to check up on the status of our refinancing application. The first call, the guy asked, "Is this Ira Pollins.?"

"Yes?"

"I'm sorry, I incorrectly dialed your number."

"What?".

"I'm sorry; we're getting used to a new system. "

The next call was from a women who wanted to know if I had sent in our application.

"I sent it almost six weeks ago."

She paused. "Wait a minute," she said, and then she left me on a hold for seven minutes. Finally, she came back and told me that she saw that I had sent the application and that she was sorry for calling.

The final call was from another women. She said, "Is this Ira Pollins?"

"Yes, why do you keep calling me?"

"This is the first time I'm calling you."

"Not specifically you. Why does Wells Fargo keep calling me?"

"I have no idea. I see here you applied for a new loan. Is that correct?"

"That is correct. Can you please tell me the status of the loan."

"I have no idea. I don't handle that."

"Then why did you call me?"

"I was checking up to see how you felt about the service you were getting."

I didn't know what to say.

I wonder: does this stuff only happen to me?

I don't think so. The degree of inefficiency and lack of organization in business and government is staggering. Hardly anyone can be counted on to meet their commitments . No one calls you back when they say they will. No one shows up on time. No one cares whether or not you are satisfied. I might be exaggerating a little, but not much.

I was having an e-mail conversation with my nephew, Eric, which is unusual for me. I am not used to e-mail conversations. He is frustrated. After graduating from Columbia Law School and working for a top law firm he was laid off after six months of doing nothing. Now he can't seem to find a new job. He's taking it personally as if it were a reflection on him. He is bright, articulate, and personable. He really is outstanding in many ways. I was trying to explain to him that the business world is so screwed up that he should not take it personally. It was hard for him to accept this.

This is why I am concerned about the Obama Stimulus package. Seven hundred billion dollars is now loose in a system that is already out of control, and we've released it to the people who allowed it to get that way. C'mon, how much confidence can we have that this money will be used wisely?

Actually, all this is good for me. I am a consultant. I solve problems. I teach people how to be on time, why it is important to meet their commitments, and the importance of good customer service. Unfortunately, I have a few loose ends myself. In the last hour, while waiting for the plumber, I misplaced my glasses, couldn't find the receipt for the grill we bought, spilled coffee. I can't remember who I promised to call this morning. I think it was an important call.

God help us.

How is Obama Doing

2009-05-08T11:49:00.000-07:00

How is Obama doing? I spoke to two close friends about this in the last 24 hours. One felt that the world was in terrible shape and that Obama was a real hope. The other felt that the world is in bad shape and Obama is destroying America. This is a tricky question. How is Obama doing?

First of all one might ask does it matter? It could be that politicians are all the same and that what they do does not affect the future of our society. It could be that there are other forces that are controlling our future and that politicians, including Obama, are influenced by these forces. These forces might include the collective consciousness of the American people and of the world population, forces that are aligned to whatever or whomever created us, astrological or other planetary influences, spiritual forces, evolutionary forces, forces of history and destiny, or other forces that we that we may not be aware of.

If Obama and/or other politicians are just puppets or actors in a theater of some unknown creator than we need to ask another question How are things going in the world? Are they improving? Are they getting worse? I will save this question for another time and get back to the question about Obama.

For arguments sake let us assume that it does matter how Obama is doing and that his actions do have an impact on the state of our world. Lets evaluate him on his economic actions, his foreign affairs actions, and the state of mind of the American people, our mood since he has taken over as President.

The question of the mood of America is obviously subjective and personal. In this matter, from my point of view there is an improved state of mind in the U.S. with Obama. There are many people who don't like him and feel that he too socialist and too soft on terrorism, but, for the most part, I believe that the majority of Americans are positive towards him and what he is doing. This might change if the economy gets much worse or some unforeseen crises occurs, but right now, May 8,2009 at 3:14 PM with the dow up over 150 points, the weather getting nicer, and the Swine Flu fears declining, the American state of mind is improved and improving.

In regard to the economy my opinion about Obama is not as favorable. I believe he has a viewpoint that the Government should help the people. I agree with that. I believe that he feels that the way we can help the people is through stimulating the economy by giving trillions of dollars to various programs and individuals. I also agree with this. What I am not sure of is whether or not he is effectively managing the distribution of this money. I have been involved with two programs that have been impacted by Obama's actions. One concerns mortgage adjustments and the other concerns energy conservation. Both seem a little out of control to me.

I am also not sure how clearly he sees the mathematical impact of his programs on future generations or even of its effect over the next ten years. It is one thing to have the noble idea that we must help everyone as much as possible in the fairest way possible. It is another thing to understand , from a numbers point of view, what is the best way to accomplish this in the long run. Obviously, in the short run, when you give away a lot of money this will have a positive effect, but I'm just not sure of the long term implications.

In regard to Obama's handling of foreign affairs and his effect on the world situation I am more positive. The most important goal at this time in world affairs is to prevent nuclear war. This is an unacceptable outcome. There are other important goals including fighting poverty, disease, discrimination, and crime.

I think that Obama has a deeper understanding of the big picture and a vision of how the world should be that is at a high level. He understands that we must learn to get along with each other. He realizes that the rhetoric about the danger of America showing weakness is true up to a point. We cannot put ourselves in a dangerous or precarious situation where our security is threated. However we must speak to our enemies and try to work out solutions with them until it becomes apparent that there is no hope and that they are an imminent threat to our safety. In addition we must conduct ourselves as a country in a way that commands the respect and admiration of all the world's people. I believe that Obama is on board with this thinking.
And I have some confidence in his handling foreign affairs.

All in all I would give him a B-. I am a hard grader, and he still hasn't proven himself to deserve any higher. He has shown me though some encouraging signs.

Breaking Free from Imaginary Suffering

2009-05-07T10:49:00.000-07:00

My wife got laid off yesterday. My sister called; her daughter, my niece, was getting divorced. The big question was what should we tell our mother? Neither of these events were surprising, but my mother has a hard time handling bad news. She would not admit this, but she does tend to magnify problems a little out of proportion. It seems as you get older you should be able to handle whatever happens in life with ease. No one escapes life without pain, suffering, and sorrow, unless they are incapable of feeling anything. The longer you live the more accustomed and experienced you should become in handling difficult times.

One of my most influential teachers, Georges Gurdjieff, a Russian mystic who lived in the early part of the twentieth century, speaks of "conscious labor and intentional suffering" as a means to personal development. He divides suffering into different categories. He speaks of unavoidable suffering that occurs when we we suffer a loss of someone close, or when we or someone we care about is in real pain. We need to deal with this type of suffering as best we can. It's not easy.

Then there is imaginary suffering. This is the most common type of suffering; it's the source of many of the problems in the world. Imaginary suffering is created when our realistic or unrealistic desires are not met. Simply, when we don't get what we want or what we think we deserve. This suffering is part of the programming we undergo as we grow. The amount of imaginary suffering we deal with in our lives is mostly dependent on how we were treated as children and how we were taught to deal with adversity, with not getting our way.

It is difficult to separate unavoidable suffering from imaginary suffering. Both are painful. For some, imaginary suffering is what gives life meaning. It is what makes them feel alive. These people actually thrive on suffering; they love to share it with others. All of us probably have met someone like this or been like this at some point in our lives. But to be happy we need to sacrifice our suffering, our imaginary suffering. Just give it up, see it for what it is.

One of the ways to give up our imaginary suffering is through "conscious labor" and "intentional suffering": putting ourselves in difficult situations; moments when we need to stretch ourselves past our comfort point either physically, emotionally, or mentally. It's putting effort into things that are especially difficult for us. This might include exercise, dieting, gardening, reading, not talking as much, asking our boss for a raise, telling someone how we really feel about them.

The more we choose suffering (activities that force us to break the chains of our existing patterns) the less imaginary suffering we will experience. This is real work, but it has a big payoff. It is a very difficult concept to understand, though, because we love our suffering as much as we love our comfort.

Continuing Adventures of Stanley

2009-05-06T17:36:00.000-07:00

Stanley was obsessed with sex. I know most men are, but maybe because of his handicaps Stanley was especially dominated by thoughts of sex and sexual fantasies. Stanley was fearless, absolutely unfazed by rejection. He would ask nearly every girl he met, in the nicest and most unassuming way, if she might be interested in having sex with him. Some did; he asked a lot of women. Not only did he approach every women, he enlisted friends to be on the lookout for any available woman.

Stanley was relentless; he pursued any woman who did not absolutely say, No. If you mentioned you might know someone he bugged you relentlessly about the meeting. Stanley had more than the average number of unusual relationships; not surprising, when you consider that, in many ways, he was not the type who would attract the average woman.

Stanley's mother was his matchmaker. She was totally devoted, as only a mother could be, to Stanley's happiness. She finally found the perfect woman for Stanley. Jewish. Well educated. From a nice family. She had one flaw; maybe a plus for the relationship. She had a rare eye disease, retinitis pigmentosa, that made her essentially blind.

Stanley's mother had been working on the introduction for a while. The girl was from Maryland, which made logistics a little difficult. Finally, the girl's mother brought her daughter to Lancaster to meet Stanley. Stanley's primary concern, even on the first date, was how he could get this women alone. He called me and asked if he could babysit for my three year old son, Scott--a perfect ploy for getting the girl alone; alone in a one bedroom apartment with a wall separating the bedroom into two parts.

My wife and I agreed to pick up Stanley and his new girl, bring them to our house, and then announce after Scott was asleep that we would be going out for a few hours. We left the two of them alone, although we did have concerns about Scott. What if he woke up and needed something?

"There's nothing to worry about," Stanley said.

"I can handle anything," the girl said.

We drove around Lancaster aimlessly for two hours. Then we went home.

We walked in. Scott was up; he was running around wildly. Stanley was laying on our bed completely nude. His girl friend, also nude, was on the other side of the wall staggering around. We didn't know what she was doing.

We asked her what was happening. She told us Scott had woken up. He had come into their room, stole their clothes, and hid them throughout the house. She could not get Stanley out of the bed; she could not find the clothes.

We found the clothes, got Stanley dressed, and took him and his girl friend back to Stanley's house. The mothers asked, "How was the date?

"Went well," I said. "This could be the start of something big."

Stanley never saw the girl again. He said the sex was better than average. Which meant to me that not getting together was definitely her decision, not his.

Rising Above Handicaps

2009-05-05T10:10:00.000-07:00

I met Stanley in 1971. He was about 5'4" with dark black afro; he was also crippled and deformed. He had polio when he was young; his legs and arms were nearly useless. He could walk, but he needed help navigating stairs or standing up. Because of his handicap, his mind had developed in a unique way. For him walking across a room was a challenge; it had to be thought through. Any activity requiring the use of his arms, hands, or legs, needed to be carefully planned. We take movement for granted, give no thought to simple tasks like eating, writing, or getting in and out of a car. Stanley had to consciously determine how to accomplish the most simple tasks. This required a form of thinking much different than the average person. It forced him to see the world differently, in much greater detail, so that he could avoid problems that we never have to face.

Stanley was a self proclaimed architect and builder. He actually was brilliant He could design and build almost any structure in his mind. My wife , son Scott, and I had just moved into a small, one-bedroom apartment. Scott was two years old, sleeping with us in our bedroom. Stanley thought it would be to our advantage to build a wall in the room partitioning it into two areas. It seemed like a good idea. I had no clue how to even begin. Stanley said he would direct me.

For the next three days, one of the most incredible experiences of my life, Stanley and I merged into one person. He was the brains and I was the body. He controlled every movement that I made and this complicated wall actually was built; it was a perfect structure dividing the room.

We went to the lumber yard first. Stanley directed every movement of my hands so that I sawed the exact sizes of lumber we needed. We then went to the hardware store, bought additional materials: tools, nuts, bolts, and screws. Stanley knew exactly what was needed. He then stood next to me for hours and hours, orchestrating every minute movement of my hands. I hammered and assembled the different sizes of wood and accoutrements. I built the wall with an artistic flair.

I am the least mechanical person imaginable. I am absolutely horrible at any form of art or craft. But with Stanley positioning my body and explaining to me exactly how far back to raise the hammer, how to stand at the right angle to leverage my movements, we built the sucker. Everything went smoothly--as long as I did not think. My only effort was an engaged attention, a total subservience, to Stanley's guidance.

I did it. I physically created this structure. And it shocked me. Imagine Leonardo Da Vinci directing every movement of your hands, fingers, and body; imagine you replicated a Mona Lisa. That was how I felt. Magical.

There is a lesson here about what is possible with teamwork, if each team member truly understands their role and trusts each other. There is a lesson about how your life circumstances cause you to see things from different perspectives, how each perspective, although different, has validity and needs to be respected and valued. But mostly for me there was the lesson of watching Stanley, a truly noble spirit rising above the most difficult of challenges time and again in ways that would have seemed impossible to me if I had not observed them first hand.

Stanley died recently. Post Polio Syndrome caught up with him and just prevented him from continuing to breathe. He was married and had three children. He created two businesses. He had travelled extensively around the world. He truly was a remarkable character.

Who Should We Believe

2009-05-04T19:04:00.000-07:00

The stock market was up big today, over two hundred points. Many of the economic indicators are showing signs of bottoming. The rates of decline in housing and unemployment seem to be slowing. Consumer sentiment is improving. Is this the beginning of a recovery or just a period of calm before an even bigger downturn? The truth is no one knows for sure.

Why is that? With all our technological wizardy, advanced mathematical thinking, and ability to create economic models that consider thousands of variables why is it that we don't really know what our situation will be three months from now. I believe that there are those who do know but they're not talking and if they are no one is listening to them.

The ones whose opinion we do listen to are those who have an agenda to promote. The stock market bulls tell us that the market will be going up, probably to 10,000 before year's end. The bears tell us we will retest the lows and may even go lower than that. The politicians in power are optimistic and believe that we have turned the corner. The out of power politicians warn us about an upcoming inflationary spiral fueled by the out of control spending of the existing administration. The historians tell us that we have always had these cyclical downturns and that they are always followed by significant booms. Futurists believe that the world is entering a new paradigm in which the old patterns no longer apply.

What are we to do amidst all these confusing and contradictory opinions ? How are we to live our lives? First of all we can't take any of it too seriously. We can look to some of our philsophers and poets to gain some perspective. Einstein tells us that "reality is an illusion, albeit a persistent one."

Joni Mitchell sings, "I've looked at life from both sides now. From win and lose and still somehow. It's life illusions I recall. I still don't know life at all."

Mark Twain gave this advice over a hundred years ago. I think it still applies. "Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things you didn't do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail off from the safe harbor. Explore. Dream. Discover"

How about Robert Frost's comment about life. "In three words I can sum up everything I learned about life. It goes on."

Will Rogers adds his two cents. "Half our life is spent finding something to do with the time we have rushed through life trying to save."

We do have some choice in the matter about who and what to believe. We can listen to those with an axe to grind with a desire to convince us that they know or we can follow those whose goal was to find the truth. If we look in that direction we see that it is not important to predict what will happen tomorrow but learn how to live today.

Esoteric Decisionmaking

2009-05-03T11:42:00.000-07:00

It's very difficult to make decisions regarding important matters. I consider important matters to be those that impact your life, those that involve change. People who easily make decisions usually do so out of impatience, boredom, laziness, or, in most cases, fear of the consequences of doing nothing. This is why most of the important decisions are made when we are young and don't know, don't think, or don't care.

One reason that real decisionmaking is rare is that when we get old enough to make an important decision we recognize how poor we are at predicting outcomes, how afraid of being wrong. Also, we are more content living in known conditions (even if they are less than ideal) than experiencing the unknown. Decisionmaking assumes there is a choice involved; for the most part, as we get older, we become more crystallized in our views and real choice is impossible.

Understanding our inability to make real decisions is critical to our personal development, to our ultimate freedom. Real understanding is not just an intellectual knowledge of the meaning of the words. It is also an emotional feeling that resonates within us, stirs us to want to do something. I believe that if we really understand our situation, and our inability to choose what we really want, except when it is accidentally thrust upon us, then we might develop the necessity required for real decisionmaking. We will not want to live one more moment in a state of slavery.

This is a basic idea within the esoteric tradition. It is fundamental to any understanding of spirituality. Spirituality has nothing to do with God, Heaven and Hell, Angels and Demons, or the existence of an afterlife. These are topics for discussion; they may be as enjoyable to some as playing Sudoku or rooting for your favorite team. Spirituality is, simply, work on yourself. This work, in the beginning, requires seeing your existing condition, and then as you understand what you, your friends and family, and the world are up against, developing the necessity, the energy and the will for change.

I believe that we are living in a time that is going to require real decisionmaking. Catering to the whims of the masses, doing what is popular, change for change sake, and seeing possibilites as either/or rather than as parts of a larger spectrum of choices will not help us. We need to break free from our existing patterns of thought and action. Actually, I believe, from what I have been taught, and what makes sense, that only a small amount of us need to become real decisionmakers.

It would be valuable if those that see the truth of this can recognize each other and work together. This transcends geography, race, religion, sex, economic class, age, or any of the other ways we classify each other. It is not about forming groups or joining organizations. Those who are interested in real work and willing to let go of those existing beliefs that separate us can make this happen each day in their own small way, in their own lives, with whomever they contact. The consequences of this can be incredible.

Preakness and the Great Stamp Caper

2009-05-02T06:47:00.000-07:00

I was considering continuing my discussion on successful consulting. Then I remembered today's the Kentucky Derby; my mind drifts towards horse racing. The Kentucky Derby's a big deal, the first leg of the Triple Crown, which includes the Preakness and the Belmont Stakes. The Triple Crown is special, more than a series of gambling events. Each race has a special significance for me; each brings back a story...

When I first moved to Lancaster, PA. I had very few friends. Lancaster seemed like a different world; being a typical New Yorker, I thought all people from Lancaster were hicks. I thought that people from Lancaster's IQs were at least 15 points lower than New Yorkers'. People from Philadelphia were a little smarter; their IQs were only 5-10 points lower. I later came to believe that people from New Orleans had the lowest IQs of all.

After living away from New York years I now see: it's not a low IQ, but a different a view of reality. New Yorkers have a broader, less superstitious view. They're less naive and their cynicism, although obnoxious, enables them to see the world a little more clearly.

One of the friends I met in Lancaster thought he was more sophisticated than the average Lancaster native. He felt he was more like a New Yorker. I took him into the NYC. He immediately threw up. The energy made him dizzy, disoriented. We bonded, though, on two levels: drugs and gambling. He believed he could make money handicapping. He asked me If I wanted to go to the Preakness Stakes with him, at Pimlico Race Track in Maryland.

We took the bus.

On the way back, after a losing day, he explained to me why today was not a good reflection of his handicapping ability. He then told his plan for making money. He was a truck driver. He drove mostly short term routes in Pennsylvania. One of his assignments was to carry bales of stamps from the Post Office in Lancaster to Harrisburg. Each bale, a giant role consisting of $6000.00 worth of stamps. He told me that the day before, a Friday afternoon, he had intentionally dropped one of the bales on the Pennsylvania Turnpike on his way to Harrisburg. He had noted the mile marker where he dropped it; he later found it, loaded it in his car, and brought it back to his house.

"Do you know anyone in New York interested in buying stamps?" he asked.

Who robs stamps from the Post Office?

And then expects to sell it on the black market?

I tried to explain: it might be difficult to sell "hot" stamps; also, he was the most likely suspect, at least when it was determined that the stamps were missing.

He wasn't concerned. No one saw him do it; they wouldn't miss the stamps. This was Saturday afternoon, a day after he had stolen the stamps.

Monday afternoon he called me. The FBI had just left his house. They had questioned him about some missing stamps. He was the last one known to have had contact with them. He was freaked out. He wanted to know if I would help him. It was a rainy day; he had a great idea. He would drive his truck with the stolen stamps to the Lancaster Post Office late that night, dump the stamps in the back of the Post Office, run over them with the truck, then leave. In the morning someone would find the stamps. Then they would easily figure the stamps had fell off the truck. He'd be off the hook. He wanted me to go with him, to keep him company.

I'm usually a loyal friend. But this was asking a little too much. I told him I couldn't do it. I wished him luck. I didn't speak to him for a few months. The next time I saw him he had become a Jehovah Witness and was going door to door preaching imminent world destruction.

"What happened with the stamps?" I asked.

"God saved me."

I saw his wife about six months later. She was a very nice women and had also become a Jehovah Witness. They had just had a baby. She told me that he had disappeared and hadn't seen him for a while. I never saw him again. I think about this story occasionally, usually at the time of a Triple Crown event.

My story about the Belmont Stakes is outrageous...

The Successful Consultant

2009-05-01T12:47:00.001-07:00

I started this blog to build credibility for myself and my ideas so that I could market my seminars. I intended to write about esoteric and spiritual principles; how they could be applied to business situations. However, whenever I sat down at the computer I had other thoughts I wanted to express. Today, I am going to focus on business; I want to offer some of my secrets on how to be a successful consultant (SC).

I've been a successful consultant. Most consultants use consulting as a way to get a job, or as a bridge between jobs. I actually have worked as a consultant for forty years; during this time, I have worked with over two hundred different companies of all sizes. In most of my assignments I've worked directly with presidents or owners of small to medium sized businesses. Most chief executives have similar problems even though they feel they are unique; that they need someone experienced in their industry to understand what is required to help them.

The basic problems I have observed include the following:

1- Businesses do not present their offering clearly.

2- The owners have never considered what they really want from their business.

3- The employees are not clear what is expected of them. They fall into habitual patterns of activity; their results are not nearly what they could or should be but are enough so that they can keep their jobs.

4-The top executives are unsatisified with their employees; the employees feel the top executives don't listen.

5-When things are going well, owners attribute their success to their efforts and skills. When things are going bad, they attribute the downturn to forces beyond their control.

6-Change is nearly impossible because everyone in a company feels they don't have enough time to do their existing job, let alone add more or new responsibilities.

7-Appearances are given more value than substance so that the better looking, better liked and more confident employees are overvalued while the quieter, more reliable plodders are undervalued.

8-More emphasis is placed on seeing what's wrong with each department or employee than searching for hidden abilities and strengths.

9-An incredible amount of time and money is wasted in meetings, programs, projects, initiatives, conversations, and report. There is very little understanding of what is a productive activity. (an activity that actually results in more money being made.)

10-The importance of preserving physical, emotional, and intellectual energy is not understood. In the final analysis, results that can be controlled depend on the collective energy of employees. Lip service is given to physical and psychological health, but not enough effort is focused on maintaining or improving overall health and vitality.

I could go on indefinitely. There is no shortage of problems. Matter of fact, it is surprising to me that companies do as well as they do. The successful consultant learns to point out these problems directly and clearly in a way that doesn't alienate or offend the owners. The SC works shoulder to shoulder with the key individuals to make breakthroughs in their attitudes and behavior. The SC does not present long reports or detailed analyses. The SC does not give the appearance of working long and hard; the SC actually makes a difference. It is rare to find a SC. If you know anyone who needs one have them call me.

Good Stuff and Bad Stuff

2009-04-30T12:01:00.000-07:00

Ted Haggerd, evangelical minister of the New Life Church of Colorado, preached to thirty million followers during his career. He was loved and respected by his followers and his wife and children. He spoke of the necessity to follow the teachings of Jesus and resist the temptation to sin. His sermons were passionate and eloquent appeals to let the power of the Holy Spirit guide your actions and to allow Jesus into your life. He was a poster child of the new wave of Christianity which presently impacts tens of millions of Americans. At the height of his power and influence he was accused of and later admitted to using crystal meth and to having homosexual relations with his massage therapist amongst others.

When Pastor Ted was asked how come he did not tell his flock or his family about his actions he replied, "I didn't think they would respond in a positive way." Good thinking, Ted. After being banned from ever entering his church again and kicked out of the stae of Colorado he went on the road with his family, in exile as he called it. He tried to get numerous jobs but was constantly rejected. When asked about whether some one would hire him or not, his response was that it depends whether they Google him or not.

Finally after a year on the road and a three week counseling session he announced that he was cured of homosexuality. When asked about this experience his take on it was that when one sheep out of a flock of a hundred goes astray, Jesus takes the other ninety-nine to find the one lost one. He was the one lost one, the one that Jesus' teachings were primarily meant for.

It's not hard to see what's wrong with this picture. What is hard is to not judge, but recognize that to one degree or another we are all like Pastor Ted. This is probalby an unpopular view. I'm sure that this level of hypocrisy makes your skin crawl. It is hard to see that what this story is about is an extreme example of a level of being that is rampant in the world.

We all have secrets that we are afraid to reveal. We all have thoughts that we can never admit even to our closest friends. We all act in ways at times that would not stand the scrutiny of a jury of perfect humans. I mean lets be real. We all have weaknesses, flaws, and imperfections. Some of us gain positions of power or influence that magnify the effects of these flaws. Most of us only effect the ones closest to us.

The real story here is that Ted Haggerd is actually not a bad guy. I probably wouldn't want to hang out with him, but after watching a mini-documentary about him and doing a little research I can see that he has some good stuff. We all have good stuff, and some bad stuff. There is a race going on in the world right now between the good stuff and the bad stuff. The more honest we can be with ourselves and the less judgemental we can be about others, the greater the possibility will be that the good stuff will win. Take a moment to consider this. I mean really consider this. It is a good starting point for personal development.

Swine Flu Vs. Vitamin D

2009-04-29T19:46:00.000-07:00

I would love to be able to write a humorous blog about the Swine Flu; how it is just another example of the endless brainwashing that we are constantly subjected to. However, I am too superstitious: maybe there really is something to worry about; and if I make fun of it I will be more susceptible to getting it and becoming one of the early casualties.

Matter of fact, I'm thinking about going out tomorrow and getting a surgical mask. I heard there was a case in N.J. I have been out of my house on occassion in the last week or two. More significantly, I have been working on a consulting assignment with a company that has an employee that reportedly lives with a Mexican woman, although her exact origin is unknown. What is definite is that she speaks Spanish and looks Latina.

This has triggered a long forgotten memory of my earliest childhood. I was living in Coney Island, about a block or two from the beach. My mother was afraid to let me go to the beach because she was afraid I would catch polio. I live a block from the beach now. This weekend was beautiful, close to ninety degrees and I spent a little time on the beach. I have been feeling a lot of anxiety. I wonder if this has anything to do with my mother's attitude and her instilling in me at this early age the fear of getting caught up in some life threatening epidemic.

My hypochondria has actually gotten better, although last week I thought I was a goner because of high blood pressure. I went to the doctor. He gave me an EKG. Everything was fine in his opinion but to be on the safe side he wanted me to monitor my blood pressure for a week. I had bought a blood pressure machine about ten years ago so I was already equipped. He said, Don't get fanatical. Take my pressure once or twice a day. I took it a minimum of fifteen to twenty times a day. I was so out of control with my blood pressure I couldn't think of anything else. After a few days of not getting a stroke or having a heart attack I began to relax a little. My blood pressure started to go low. I panicked again.

I finally went to the doctor to get the results of some blood work. I brought in my notebook with my blood pressure readings. He didn't even bother to look at them. He said my blood work was good, except my Vitamin D was low. He recommended I take a vitamin every day to supplement this. I instantly became worried and went home and googled the consequences of inadequate vitamin D. I can't understand how this happened but then I remembered I had been staying in my house after hearing these reports about the Swine Flu.

So now I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. Should I risk Swine Flu or should I brave going out so that I can get enough Vitamin D. This whole thing is starting to affect my blood pressure again. Plus I feel a tickle in my throat.

What is the purpose of a surgical mask?

Does it really make a difference?

I think I'll google it, maybe get some real answers. I am trying to establish some credibility with my blog. I hope this post doesn't give anyone the wrong impression.

Community Action, Esoteric Ideas, and Eavesdropping

2009-04-27T23:25:00.000-07:00

I just got back from a meeting of a community action group whose purpose is to train inner city kids in life skills. In attendance were two black muslims, two women, and two community organizers. I was the only white guy. I had previously met with the organization head, one of the woman. I had seen a sign outside her building advertising life counseling. I was cold calling on businesses to introduce my consulting services and decided to check out whether there might be an opportunity for me to get some work. After explaining my background to her (I was a social worker and teacher in the ghettoes of Brooklyn) and giving her a copy of my book she decided that I might be a good addition to her board. She thought I could add diversity so she decided to invite me to the board meeting. In the spirit of not having anything better to do I decided to check out the meeting.

One of the first things I noticed was that I did not feel at all like an outsider. I had spent the entire day at another business discussing the communication and personal problems of the business owners and the employees. The environment at this center seemed a little more upbeat, friendly, and positive much more to my liking than the business I had just left or the average businesses I observe. These people were optimistic and hopeful, opposite of what you might think would be the case in a ghetto business devoted to solving the most difficult of family and children problems

I did notice from the amount of Obama pictures on the wall and from eavesdropping on some of the conversations as I was waiting for the meeting to begin how significant Obama's elections was to the world view and attitude of the members. By the way, I am a professional eavesdropper. After years of practicing this little known art I have perfected it and have learned to eavesdrop on multiple conversations simultaneously. What I have noticed is that most people talk about nothing of relevance.

The easiest and most fruitful places for eavesdropping are restaurants and security lines in airports. These conversations for the most part are nonsensical. Restaurant conversations are mostly about gossip, health problems, or the state of the participants material possessions, especially their homes. Airport conversations are usually boring recounts of places that have been visited or worst of all businessmen checking in with their offices to make sure that assignments are getting done or that arrangments have been made. What annoys me most about these conversations is the urgency and importance that are being attached to these conversations even though most of the products are non-essential and evenly irrelevant. I mean people act like shipments of corkboard or specifications for lampshades are critical to the planets survival.

When the board meeting was actually started one of the Muslims, Juwanda, was asked to present his background and how he felt he could contribute to the board and the organization. He was about my age and told his story about his life on the streets as an activist dealing with prisoners and drug addicts and how he had developed experience in life skills training especially from the prisoners. He mentioned that people in prison have the time, space, and will to actually think about things and because of the this are often in the best position to come up with good ideas about self development and helping the community. The women leader objected a little to this saying that even though she was tremendously busy she found the time, space, and will to come up with good ideas also, and had never been in prison.

I was then asked to tell my story. I explained to the group without the slightest bit of nervousness or even self-consciousness that I had spent the last thirty years working in the business world attempting to bring spiritual values to business. I mentioned that in order to do this I had to understand what were spiritual values. I expressed my view that at the core of all religions was a similar truth, that we were all created from the same source, that we had lost our connection with this source, and that spiritual work in all religions involved returning to the source from which we came. This return began with self-study and getting to see the truth about ourselves and our condition. I said that I believed that all effective self-development programs had to include this element of self-awareness training.

I also expressed the idea that the world was changing and that the old ways of running businesses and becoming successful based on greed, competiveness, and aggression were no longer working. What was needed was a more sincere, sharing, and caring attitude. This leveled the playing field and provided an equal opportunity to motivate ghetto kids and rich kids from white suburbia. They liked this point. One of the muslims pointed out to me, though after I finished my talk that he was not willing to take money from the casinos, no matter how much they were offering. I had no idea why he even said this. For the first time though I had a little self-doubt that he might know about my gambling background, although I had never met him before.

When I got home and reflected on what had happened at the meeting I was happy with the way I presented myself and saw that I can impact people with my ideas, although I wasn't sure that I could really help this group or that I wanted to. I woke up though, in the middle of the night with the idea that a way to help these kids was to create workshops in which the kids are asked to present basic esoteric ideas through art, theater, dance. poetry, song, and story telling. I thought of the Wizard of Oz , the Emperor's New Clothes, and West Side Story as examples of performance and creativity being used as vehicles to express deeper lessons about life. This is not a new idea and has been incorporated within most traditions since the beginning of history. The hard part is to organize it and develop a structure and process through which the kids can be motivated to spend their time creating and expressing themselves in ways that will enable them to get to know themselves better.

I think I'll send an e-mail to the director telling her about this possibility. I'm still not sure whether I want to get involved or not. I'll have to think about it.

What Are We Afraid Of?

2009-04-26T08:55:00.000-07:00

Some people are fearful of the possibility that computers some day will be smarter than humans. People who know about these things predict that if technology continues to advance at the same rate we will reach the point, in approximately 2035, when computing power will be greater than our brain. This is called the singularity--a singular moment in history when the world will change forever. What will this mean to our lives?

First of all, in order for this to occur we must still be in existence. This likely will be the case. Secondly, technology must continue to advance at the same pace. Odds are that it will continue to advance; most likely at an even faster pace. As computing power increases, artificial intelligence becomes faster and smarter and then finally reaches the point where it is 50% as smart as man, then 75%, then 99%, then equal, and then slightly smarter. Once A.I. is smarter than humans it takes over the development of computing power and develops computers smarter than itself. This can accelerate geometrically so at first it will be twice as smart, then four times, eight times, and ultimately millions of time as smart as we are.

This is not speculation. This is very real and we most likely will experience this in our lifetimes if we are fifty or under. Why are we afraid of this? At the very least it will enable our physical lives to improve significantly. There is no limit to what we can imagine can happen. The progress that can be made in health, mortality, travel, communication, energy, and the ability to improve the standards of living of the world's population will be incredible. War for acquisition and control will no longer be necessary where everyone has what they want.

Actually we cannot imagine what the world will be like when we have the availability of an intelligence level that is beyond our comprehension. Immortality, space travel, penetrating the mysteries of death and sleep, creating fantasy parks in which we can experience our most secret and deepest desires are just the tip of the iceberg of what may be possible

Again I ask why are we afraid of this? What is there about living in a world where war, disease, poverty, and unfulfilling work no longer exist that stirs an uneasiness within us. Is it that we are attached to our suffering, that we need to struggle in order to feel meaning in our lives. Are we afraid of losing control to machines whose motivation will be to enslave us and destroy us? Are we so frightened of change that even when it offers us the hope of everything we have ever wanted we cannot accept it.?

This scenario of our future world is not science fiction, although it is hard to imagine and take seriously. If humans are without souls or without the possibility of higher consciousness and a connection to beauty, love, and truth, then the picture I am painting still offers something to look forward to. If we are part of a creative process and more than just physical beings than we have nothing to fear from the delegation of the chores of our lives to machines or computers. This question about why we are afraid of this is an important one. We need to explore it carefully.

American Truth

2009-04-25T08:46:00.000-07:00

I heard this story about a women whose husband died on the day she was supposed to pay her utility bill. She had to make funeral arrangments so she paid the bill the next day, one day late. When her credit card company heard about this outrageous irresponsibility they raised her rate from ten to thirty percent. My friend Rochelle called me last week crying. Her credit card bill was lost in the mail. Her rate was raised to twenty-nine percent. These are not isolated stories.

This is what's going on today in a country that supposedly espouses Christian values, especially from corporate America and the banking industry whose executives extol the virtues of truth in lending, whatever that means. Obama talked to the credit card companies yesterday to tell them to be a little more reasonable in their actions. "Unbelievable," was the reaction of CNBC analysts. How could Obama interfere in the free market system. This was a direct threat to the American way of life. Capitalism was under attack. Are you serious?

There is one thing about America that will not change. There is one thing about America that is the essence of our culture and that no matter how much rhetoric there is to the countrary we do not have to be concerned about. America has been, is, and will be a nation of wheeler dealers, entrepreneurs, and free spirits whose primary focus is to make a buck and spend two on whatever the latest fad or gadget might be.

No matter what you read on the internet or hear on TV the American people give lip service to ideas, dogmas, or belief systems. What we believe in is whatever is to our financial advantage in the moment. There is no way Americans will become suicide bombers or fly planes into buildings, or fast for long periods to protest unfair practices. We may have theoretical conversations about higher ideals, or write books, or even produce moving documentaries and movies that support saving our environment and feeding the poor and homeless. But at the bottom line, these are all money making ventures.

Whenever I hear Rush Limbaugh or Sean Hannity harangue us about the deterioration of America and the growing threat to our freedom I think about going to Burger King for a Whopper or maybe McDonalds for a Big Mac. Or maybe I should watch Bret Michaels Rock of Love, or reruns of LA Law or any one of hundreds of other choices always available to me. Or should I play chess on the internet, or watch the latest porno e-mail sent to me by my sixty-six year old conservative friend ? How about taking a walk on the beach or a ride in my car? No one is telling me what to do or what to think.

America is a great place to live. There are definitely flaws and room for improvement. But the critics on the left and on the right can't be taken too seriously. They are allowed to express their ideas and make money from disagreeing with whatever they find bothersome to them in the moment. In my opinion, they are entertainers, for the most part. who have found a shtick and are capitalizing on it. That's fine. Let's not get carried away though, unless we want to and find it pleasurable, with any of the glib talkers who have all the answers and are totally sure that their point of view is not only right but sacred. I'm really not worried about it though. I have to decide whether to watch the Sixers or the Phillies tonight after I determine whether I should call in for Italian or Chinese. When that changes then I will become concerned. But I don't see it happening.

Women vs. Men

2009-04-23T21:15:00.000-07:00

My sister and I have a lot in common. This is not surprising since we shared the same small bedroom until I was twenty and she was sixteen. One of our shared traits is that we both have had a number of long term close friends. Interestingly her friends and my friends would be hanging out in our bedroom at the same time and there would be no interaction or recognition of the other's presence. It was if we were in entirely separate locations.

I think her friends were aware, at least of the presence of my friends. My friends who were four years older did not acknowledge the exisence of my sister or her friends. There are definitely differences between men and women. My sister knows me better than anyone. This is because of the closeness of our living conditions, her nature as a people person (she is presently a therapist in Hollywood) but mostly because women pay more attention to personalities and feelings while men pay more attention to the physical and to things.

I once went to a workshop with a teacher, whom I respect, about the differences between men and women. The question that was being discussed was what do men and women want. What do they really? It seems that women want to be in service, to nurture, and to take care of others. What men want is orgasms. When women wake up in the morning their first thoughts are about their children or about what they need to do to take care of others. The first thoughts of men are about what they need for themselves.

There is no question in my mind that women are overall smarter than men and are on a higher level. In the Jewish religion there are something like 611 laws that need to be followed by a practicing Jew. 608 of them apply to men and only 3 apply to women. Men need to be disciplined more than women. They need more rules to help them do what is right. Women are more inclined to create and support. Men are more inclined to destroy. Men need women more than women need men.

In spite of the obvious superiority of women, most of the great achievements of the world have been accomplished by men. It might be that on average women are superior to men but that the highest level of men are on a higher level than the highest level of women. Or it may be that men had more opportunities to develop themselves while women have had to take care of the home or family. This could be changing though.

It seems that if we are going to survive women need to given more power. There is definitely a masculine orientation in today's world. Our society is essentially patriarchal, controlled by men. The consequences of this are that we are more vulnerable to war and to destroying Mother Nature by our lack of discipline and inability to control our greed and lust. It would be to our advantage to enable women to be more in control. This probably won't be accomplished by a conscious effort on the part of men. Women are going to have to take the bull by the horns and demand the power for themselves. I definitely would support this. It would also be very interesting to observe how this unfolded.

Spending Time Wisely

2009-04-22T23:02:00.000-07:00

I used to be addicted to craps. It was a very expensive addiction. I never kept records, but I estimate I lost over $150,000 during my twenty year career. This is about $7500 per year, $150 per week. During that time my average income was $2000 per week or more. I am not justifying my losses. Just stating the facts.

I remember nights visualizing the roll of the dice, imagining different scenarios in which I would win hundreds of thousands of dollars. This relaxed me and helped me sleep. No matter what I was doing during this phase of my life I'd constantly think about heading down to Atlantic City. It never was an effort for me to drive two or more hours at any time of day or night to satisfy my craving.

Today I live under six minutes, if there is traffic, from the nearest casino. I have no desire to shoot dice at all. Matter of fact, I don't even enjoy going to the casinos. I'm addicted to poker. I play on the internet; I don't have to leave my house. I don't lose much money either. I don't win, but I estimate my losses are under a thousand per year. The main cost is the amount of time I play, forty or more hours per week. Actually, this is a little misleading. I'm usually watching TV or listening to music on TV at the same time. If I wasn't playing poker I might just be watching or listening to TV.

I'm addicted to poker. When I can't sleep I visualize hands I've played, or hands I imagine I'll play in the future. It helps me relax. The reason I need to relax is because playing poker puts me under pressure. First of all, especially on the internet, there are a lot of bad beats, hands that I am positive I am going to win but lose. Secondly, when I am not playing I feel compelled to play. This puts additional pressure on me.

What helps me relax is to not to play poker at all. When I take a few days off, maybe a week or two, I feel terrific. As if a large burden's been lifted; I'm free to do whatever I want.

Which eventually leads me back to playing poker.

(Even writing about it, looking forward to not playing is beginning to relax me.)

I know, this is a little ridiculous, but I don't think it's much different than the way most people spend their lives.

I could be living in a monastery and spending ten or more hours a day in prayer or meditation. I could be working in the Post Office, boxing mail. I could be in Africa with a spoon carefully digging forty to fifty hours a week with the hope of finding a bone or two. Or maybe I could be a doctor treating sick people sixty hours a week. Many doctors play poker on the internet to relax. What's keeping me from being a doctor is not gambling. I was never good at organic chemistry.

How about trading stocks, writing greeting cards, selling pocketbooks, counseling addicts or neurotics, driving a limousine, training race horses, making important decisions, fixing roofs, or walking across the Appalachian Trail? Would any of these activities be better ways to spend my time? My mother would probably think so. I'm not so sure. I just read that there are more blog writers who make money than lawyers. They spend fifty to sixty hours a week writing their opinions about sports, politics, sex, health, investing, exercise, or how to spend your time wisely. I wish I knew how they get paid. I'm not sure I'd want to do it anyway.

What I would really like to do is sit around with a group of wise men and women in a cafe discussing the meaning and purpose of life. Now that I think about it, though, I'd rather have these discussions in my house while I'm on the internet playing poker. If there are any wise men and women who are reading this and want to come to my house they are more than welcome.

Reversing Financial Momentum

2009-04-21T16:24:00.000-07:00

There were 20 criminal proceedings announced today against banks, bank officials, and others who received money from the TARP (Toxic Asset Relief Program). These criminal activities included insider trading, bank fraud, mortgage fraud, illegal payouts, and other illegal activities associated with the seven hundred fifty billion dollar bank bailout program. When gigantic sums of money are thrown around some people get greedy and grab whatever they can. Are we surprised by this? I don't think so.

What is funny to me is how critical the financial pundits are of the governments attempts to help us out of the financial mess. They view these criminal actions as evidence of the governments inability to manage any large scale financial program. They have quickly forgotten that what caused these problems was the inability of the financial sector to manage its business profitably from the get-go.

There are debates raging throughout the media today about whether we should blame unfettered capitalism or the lack of government regulation for our financial problems. Are we moving towards socialism? Will we destroy incentive? These arguments are totally meaningless and don't address the real problem. The problem is complex and is a combination of the types of people who gravitate towards positions of power, especially financial power and the cyclical nature of our society. What this means is that as societies progress they continue to overuse and abuse the systems that have enabled them to prosper.

What has enabled the existing system to prosper was the increasing desire for more material possesssions, the creation of complicated investment techniques that produced money without requiring labor, and the increased dependence on credit to finance all of these abuses. The bottom line is that we become addicted to what feels good and do not consider the consequences of escalating this addicition. There are those who did not participate in these out of control activities and were more balanced in their lives. But there are two many of us who bought into the dream and many who were completely out of control both as consumers and as greedy beneficiaries of the results of our addictions.

We can no longer depend on mainstream thinking to bail us out. There are no real bailouts without real change. What has to happen now is a fundamental change in the way we relate to money, materialism, and what we want in our lives. This will require continued significant suffering or a Black Swan event that we cannot imagine. A Black Swan is an event that could not be predicted, that changes the nature of our world, and then is explained afterwards by the experts using logic as to why it should have been predicted.

What I think is needed now is the creation of a movement whose primary goal is to take a break from implementing any new programs or initiatives in the financial arena. All advertising and promoting should be stopped. All purchasing except for necessities should be postponed All talking, debating, and politicking in the media and on the internet should be ended for at least a month or two. Maybe if we quieted our minds and had a little time to work on our personal health and improving our relationships with friends and family without spending much money we would be able to see things more clearly. I am open to other suggestions. We need to do something different, though.

A Sad Day

2009-04-20T18:00:00.000-07:00

I just learned tonight that my cousin's thirty year old daughter died. She went to the doctor a few days ago with a headache. They did a scan of her brain and found a giant inoperable tumor. She was put on life support for a day and then the plug was pulled. She leaves behind two kids, eight and two.

I feel bad writing about this but I can't think of anything more important or meaningful. It seems that if i wrote about anything else, I'd be insincere. What makes the story interesting and more sad is that her mother, my cousin has AIDS. She has had full blow AIDS since 1981, has had a number of near death experiences, but has survived and thrived for the most part for all these years. Two of her children now have died. I can't imagine how difficult that must be.

My cousin, the one with AIDS, is the daughter of my first cousin, the one who called me last week with the tip on the horse. The horse lost. I lost a couple of hundred dollars--obviously insignificant when you compare this to the loss of my second cousin.

The stock market was down almost two hundred ninety points today. Billions of dollars lost. I'm sure it caused more collective aggravation than almost anything else that happened today. My cousins, I'm sure couldn't care less.

It is getting hard for me to get away from this theme of loss. Once you start in a certain direction a momentum builds and it is difficult to reverse. I did hear a good joke today but it would be inappropriate, I think, to share it and it doesn't seem very funny right now. There are times, more than we acknowledge, when there is not much to say. I would like to point out some meaningful insight or positive lesson that we might gain from this young girl's death. I can't think of one, though. Hopefully, tomorrow will be a better day.

Further Thoughts on the Esoteric Path

2009-04-19T17:45:00.000-07:00

It's hard to know what advice to believe or who you can really trust. I read today that it is not good for you to stand on your hand. It puts too much pressure on your eyes and can contribute to causing glaucoma. I have been standing on my head everyday for thirty three years. I have also read numerous articles about the dangers of fasting. I have fasted at least once a year for over thirty five years. It seems to me that no matter what I read about these practices or what people tell me I should value my own experiences. I mean after all this time I should know for myself how I feel when doing these things.

One of the major challenges in life is developing confidence in yourself so that you can trust your own instincts, feelings, and thoughts. It is especially difficult when we are contstantly being told what to do and what to think. From the time we are very young, almost immediately after birth , we are constantly being programmed to perceive the world in ways that will enable us to get pleasure and avoid pain.

As we get older and we begin to think for ourselves our attitudes and behaviors are influenced by our parents, teachers, friends, and the media. By the time we have reached adulthood, unless we are very lucky, and have been isolated from the mainstream and exposed to a belief system that promotes personal development and an open-minded skepticism we will be severely limited in our ability to think for ourselves.

It is important to realize the reality of our situation. Hypnosis is real and is usually defined as a state of hypersuggestibility. There are ten levels or stages of hypnotic trance from a very light state to the deepest or somnambulistic state. In the deepest states, the hypnotist can create both negative and positive hallucinations, We can be told that an object that is in our presence does not exist and we will not see it. We can also be told to see an object that does not exist and we will imagine that the object is present. Each of us to some degree or another is subject to the effects of suggestibility. What this means is that we are all hypnotized to some degree and our view of the world is impacted by this hypnosis.

The goal of our life, from the esoteric point of view is to free ourselves from this state. In order to do this, though, we must develop a sense of necessity or it will never become important to us.
We will be happy living in our dream state. This necessity is developed when we recognize what is called "The Terror of the Situation". TTOTS becomes more apparent when we study ourselves and see the degree to which we are not free. The more we study ourselves the more it becomes apparent that only occassionally do we have "free will." As we study ourselves and begin to see the truth about our existence we can begin to see the cause of the world's problems and the degree to which things are out of control. This path of self-study and deprogramming ourselves is a difficult.one. It is called "The Warriors Way". It is the path to freedom and consciousness that I alluded to in my last blog.

Doorway to the Esoteric Path

2009-04-18T13:20:00.000-07:00

I'ts difficult to believe in an all powerful, all knowing , all loving, god when you consider the weaknesses and shortcomings of our physical bodies. You can justify our mental and emotional anguish as a result of our free will. It's easier to rationalize that the problems of our mind and heart are created by lessons that we need to learn. But what is the purpose of our needing to eat, of growing old, or of the need to sleep. It seems that a God of greater wisdom would have considered these factors when he created us.

Now it could be that God acts in mysterious ways and we just don't understand the big picture. It also could be that we are a work in process and that we are evolving into more perfect and efficient machines. Maybe we are an experiment of an advanced species who are observing how we adapt ourselves to the limited equipment they gave us. The miracle of it all is that we are capable of analyzing and trying to understand our situation.
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The majority of people either believe that it is a waste of time to speculate about these matters or that the stories they have been told about god, creation, the Garden of Eden, heaven, and hell are acceptable explanations for the meaning and purpose of life. There are a few who don't accept the traditional stories and myths, and also have an interest or a desire to investigate and discover what is really going on. I don't think those in this ladder group have a choice in the matter. They are driven, by some inner force , which no matter how much they try to ignore, keeps driving them to find the answers to these unanswerable questions.

There is much that can be discovered and uncovered by science. Scientists take the view that if we can't observe or measure a phenomenon it doesn't exist. What they have succeeded to do in thousands of years of observing and measuring is put together a pretty good picture of our world and its components. They have also helped us advance in our abiity to control our lives and change the physical world so that it is more accessible and easier to navigate.

What scientists have not done is research that which can't be measured, that inner force that drives us to find the deeper reason for our existence. It is a little naive and even illogical to believe that the scientific method is our most advanced tool for understanding. Where does this leave us? It leaves us at the doorway to what I consider the esoteric path, the hidden path that leads to a higher form of awareness or consciousness. We are now on the threshold of making a breakthrough to this new way of being and perceiving. It will change the world in ways we cannot imagine.

Waiting for Kilderry

2009-04-17T11:20:00.000-07:00

My cousin Marvin called me today with a tip on a horse race: Kilderry in the fifth race at Santa Anita. Usually these tips don't pan out, but Marvin called me last year with one which went off at 10-1 and won easily. I won over five hundred bucks. Since there is three hours difference between here and California the race won't go off until six o'clock. I'll head out to the Borgata around five. During that time I'll probably speak to my friends Marty and Campy three or four times to hear their thoughts about the best way to bet this horse. There is an incredible amount of options in addition to the traditional Win, Place, and Show. There are the exotic bets including exactas, trifectas, superfectas, rolling doubles, and pick threes which make the process of betting a little more complicated these days.

I'm writing about thos now for a few reasons. If the horse wins I will have written documentation that I had the winner before the race. Also, I have been writing about a lot of philosophical and speculative ideas. Gambling is much more concrete. Either you win or lose. In a world where most things are unclear one needs a straightforward activity. Finally, gambling, especially horse racing, brings me back to my youth.

I lived fifteen minutes from Aqueduct Race Track. During the racing season, starting when I was fifteen (I think the legal age was eighteen) I hitchhiked to the track at least twice a week. I usually went with ten or twenty dollars. I remember how excited I was, the thrill of walking into the grandstand, eyeing the track. It was awe inspiring. And most importantly, there was always the chance of making a hit.

Aqueduct

I did make a few hits. One time, I won over a hundred dollars. It was the first time in my life that I had a hundred dollar bill. I think it was the first time I ever saw a hundred dollar bill. I folded it in my wallet in a certain way that made it look like a thousand dollar bill. I showed the folded bill to my mother; she almost had a heart attack. When I told her that I had won it at the race track she panicked even more. She immediately thought that I needed to go to a psychiatrist. This was her response every time I did something she didn't understand.

After calming down she called my Uncle Dave. Uncle Dave was a legend in our family. He was one of the original founders of Gamblers Anonymous. Everytime my mother worried that I was becoming a compulsive gambler she brought up how Uncle Dave how ruined his life gambling, lost his first wife, and alienated his children. Uncle Dave had an experience which changed his life and made him give up gambling forever. He had gone to the race track every day for thirty-seven consecutive years. He followed the ponies around the country going to Florida in the winter and Saratoga in the summer. One evening after an especially tough losing day he was eating a spaghetti dinner in an Italian restaurant in Saratoga with some of his fellow gamblers.

One of them looked at him and said, "Dave all you have to do is drive the get-away car, we'll handle everything else."

Upon hearing this Dave said he became sick; he realized how low he had sunk and how miserable his life was. He stood up and pulled the table cloth off the table spilling the spaghetti all over everyone and walked out of the restaurant. He never gambled again; with a few other guys, he founded Gamblers Anonymous based upon the principles of Alcoholics Anonymous. He spent the last days of his life crusading against gambling.

This story was always interesting to me. It never affected my attitude towards gambling, though. I have always enjoyed gambling and probably always will. My main concern right now is Kilderry at Santa Anita. Wish me luck.

Finding the Good

2009-04-16T10:34:00.000-07:00

It's encouraging to me how much good there is in the world. Its much easier to see the bad. Most people are experts at seeing what's wrong with their friends, family members, their companies, the government, and any groups of which they are not members. What is more difficult is to find the good in things.

Recently, there have been some examples of good. First of all, there was Sully landing his plane in the Hudson River without any injuries and then not appearing on any talk shows. Then were was the Captain of the pirated ship who gave himself up to save his crew. When you think about it this action was really heroic. These pirates do not seem like nice guys.

And yesterday I received an e-mail with a link to a video on You-Tube that showed a women singing on a British Show, Britain's got Talent. Simon Cowell, of American Idol fame, was a judge on the show. The women was 48 years old and frumpy. She had never sang in public before. The audience and the judges did not seem to be taking her seriously. However, when she began to sing I Dream a Dream from Les Miserables it was incredibly beautiful and inspiring. It actually made me cry. She was so umassuming. She seemed like a real life Mary Poppins.

If you pay attention and are open minded there is good all around. What I consider to be good are those things that are done or created without any desire for personal gain. What distorts the picture and makes it appear that there is so much bad in the world is that most of the good gets unnoticed. The reason for this is that the world is controlled by people who desire power and money. They are the ones who get the most attention. So what happens is that most of the impressions that we get are from those who are aggressive, self-serving, and persuasive. The humble and compassionate exist in the background. The world presently rewards those who are more desirous, competitive, confident, and strong in their belief that they are right.

This is changing though. I don't think I am being naive about this. It has to change. If you believe that good triumphs in the end and you are honest with yourself about what really is good you will come to the same conclusion. Progress is about progressing. Progressing is about getting better. Getting better means that there will be more good than bad. We just need to begin to appreciate and see the good so that it will be nurtured and allowed to take its rightful place.

Buddhism 101

2009-04-14T10:47:00.000-07:00

My wife has been studying the teaching of the Dalai lama. This has sparked my interest in his teachings and in Buddhism. The Dalai Lama, in my opinion is pretty smart and deserves some respect. He represents a tradition of supposedly reincarnated buddhist masters that goes back hundreds of years. When the existing dalai lama dies a search is initiated to find his successor. This search involves buddhist monks scouring Tibet with relics from the dead dalai lama. When they find a young boy who recognizes these relics, they assume that the dalai lama's soul has passed into this young boy and that he is the successor. In the past when more than one boy recognized the relics there was a lottery where the names were put into a bowl and the winner was drawn and named the next dalai lama. The existing dalai lama wants to change the system and choose his successor while he is still alive. I am not sure if this is a good idea or not, although I accept the existing dalai lama's thought on the matter.

The Dalai Lama teaches Buddhism. Buddhism is not considered a religion. It is a philosophy of life. There is not much discussion of God and its principles are very basic. What is interesting to me is that there are thousands of books and billions of words written about Buddhism or by Buddhists explaining the teaching when the ideas can be simply stated in a few paragraphs.

The first main idea is expressed in the Four Noble Truths. 1- Life is suffering. 2- Suffering is caused by unfulfilled desire-we don't always get what we want. 3-There is a possibility to overcome suffering and become happy. 4-The way to do this is through the eightfold path which involves doing the right things. The right things are those that don't harm yourself or other people.

A second main idea is that there are two truths. The first truth is conventional truth and the second truth is ultimate truth. Conventional truth is what we need to get through everyday life and communicate with each other. Ultimate truth is the deeper meaning of life which can be arrived at through study, prayer, and meditation. It is obvious that there is a conventional truth or we would not be able to describe the world or meet our basic needs.

It is less obvious that there is an ultimate truth. The only way we can know for sure whether there is one or not is if we discover it. If we do discover it we can't communicate what it is because it is beyond words. The only way the one who is hearing about it can know if its true if he or she discovers it for him or herself. No amount of communication or words can describe the ultimate truth. Because we cannot know for sure whether there is an ultimate truth or not we need to be very cautious in assuming that we know anything beyond conventional truth. This viewpoint is very healthy and fosters compassion, tolerance, and kindness in our relations. These are fundamental Buddhist values.

There have never been any wars fought over Buddhism. Buddhists have never invaded any countries, gone on any crusades or jihads, and in general have been pretty peaceful in their approach to life. There is a lot to be said for there track record and their teachings. I still am more attracted to the image and personality of Jesus than I am to Buddha. I believe that if they were together in the same room, they would be probably be great friends and agree on almost everything. Their goals are definitely the same. I believe they are both serving the same boss. What is different is what makes one person like Pepsi and the other like Coke. We are different in our inclinations and in the types of things that attract us. There is no reason to fight over what ideas attract us or how we choose to approach our understanding of the meaning and purpose of our lives. We really need to learn this lesson, and quickly.

Thoughts on Aging

2009-04-13T23:10:00.000-07:00

I worry sometimes about getting old. It helps that my father is almost 97 and that my cousin seems young at 85 but there are certain unmistakable signs that I am getting up there. I always was one of the youngest ones at most business meetings. Now I am usually the oldest. I find myself going to bed earlier and never thinking about going out at night. Also, I find it hard to plan for more than two or three years ahead. I remember when I was younger thinking in terms of five or ten years into the future.

Physically I feel fine, although I am more conscious of the need to take care of myself, watch what I eat, and in general treat my body more gently. Actually, I am a little more lenient with myself than I was in my thirties and forties when I felt more urgency to keep my weight down and exercise vigorously. I felt more pressure to not have any physical problems, or aches and pains. Now I accept them more easily without as much concern. I still have hypocondriacal tendencies, but they definitely have moderated.

Mentally, though, I feel that I have not aged but am seeing things more clearly. I don't have the mental stamina that I once had to work day after day in a concentrated way. However, I am able to get things accomplished more quickly with less effort. I feel like I have less clutter, interfering with my thoughts, and that I can more easily penetrate to the heart of situations. It has helped me to recognize in all areas of life that things are not always the way they seem to be and that I cannot know for sure that I am right even when I feel confident that I am. This has prevented me from becoming too judgemental or set in my ways. I am not as impulsive or impatient and am able to step back a little from problems and look at possible solutions from different angles.

My goal in these writings is to be as honest with myself as possible, not to glamorize or exaggerate except when I am obviously or subtly being a little humorous. As I read this I am starting to feel a little better about this aging process. There are downsides, to be sure, but there are also advantages. A big advantage is that the pressure to produce significant results from my actions to prove to the world and my parents that I have value has been replaced by a desire to have productive days and make progress where I can.

It is interesting to me also that as I have become older I see more clearly the problems in the world and the degree to which things are screwed up while at the same time I am less concerned about fixing them. This does not mean that I don't care or that I have given up. I just don't have the same anxiety or frustration about things that I had when I was younger. Now there might be those who have a different experience and find themselves with more anxiety and frustration as they get older and realize how little impact they have on the state of the world or how little they have accomplished in their lives. I am not troubled by this at all.

I have come to see that there are very few absolute truths. There are choices, though. We make them every day. One of the ways to improve our lives is to learn to make better choices, and not to repeat the same mistakes. As we grow older we can choose to free ourselves from our past attitudes and behaviors so that we can enjoy the remainder of our lives or we can remain entangled in our past and give up the possibility of freeing ourselves. We can age gracefully and unburden ourselves, or we can take on more clutter and weigh ourselves down. In reality we can begin making this choice at any point in our lives. I would recommend doing it sooner rather than later.

Jesus, Judaism, Myth, and Belief

2009-04-12T17:23:00.000-07:00

I am not a fan of organized religion. For the most part I am not a joiner of any group and I believe that organized religion has caused much more problems that it has solved. I do believe in the teachings of Jesus and that in some important way his presence was important to the development of our world. You cannot easily dismiss someone who lived two thousand years ago and whose message and life still impacts billions of people worldwide.

Growing up Jewish, Jesus was never viewed by my Hebrew school teachers as someone we should study, admire of even look upon favorably. In many ways he was viewed as the enemy. It is a little difficult to see Jesus objectively when you are brought up with this viewpoint. It was only when I moved to Lancaster and escaped from the influences of the predominant Jewish culture in which I was raised that I was able to investigate Jesus and who he really was.

I don't know for sure whether Jesus ever lived or not. Matter of fact I went to a workshop by a religiious scholar, Timothy Freke, from Glastonbury England who with his partner Peter Gandy has written a number of well researched and clearly thought out books explaining in a very convincing way that Jesus was a mythological character and that the "Jesus Myth" has been part of many other traditions that preceded Jesus . The idea of a spiritual master being born of a virgin, baptized by another spiritual bigwig, killed by his enemies, and then resurrected is a common story existing in many other traditions.

Whether Jesus actually existed is not as important though as what he represents. First of all what began to make sense to me in my spiritual searching was that the Jewish people at the time of Jesus' supposed incarnation were off the track in their views and beliefs. They had drifted off the path of spirituality and were putting too much emphasis on the letter of the law and not enough on the spirit of the law. Their God, the God of the Old Testament was a wrathful God, not a very attractive or inspiring one. Jesus came along and tried to wake up the Jewish people to a new and more attractive view.

His main message was that it was not important to follow six hundred or more laws that for the most part were trivial in their intent. What was important was to love your neighbor, love God,( an idea that needs to be understood through deeper study and personal development) and to cast aside your old ways, your old beliefs, your old personality, and be born again into a higher, more compassionate and more loving nature. This rings true to me.

What has happened though is that like all great teachings Jesus' message has become distorted and used by power seekers for their own advantage. In the name of Jesus, there have been an incredible amount of atrocities committed. You could look them up very easily if you have the inclination. This does not in any way take away from the value of Jesus's teaching. The message of Jesus or the "Jesus Myth" is a powerful life changing one. What I have done at times is close my eyes, visualize my image of this man called Jesus, and then try to fill myself up with the love, or agape that I imagine was the essense of his being. This has helped me during difficult times.

I still consider myself Jewish. I don't believe that Jesus' teaching are the only valid ones that have been give to us. I just don't believe (as I feel Bill Maher did in his movie Religulous) that we should throw the baby out with the bath water. Just because we see a lot of wackos and hypocrites in the many Christian sects and denominations doesn't mean that there isn't something valuable that can be gained by exploring this man called Jesus.

Cultural Shock and Assimilation

2009-04-11T08:32:00.000-07:00

When I first moved to Lancaster, Pa. from Brooklyn, at age 22, I experienced cultural shock. It seemed that I had moved to a different country and I wasn't quite prepared. Our apartment was on the outskirts of Lancaster, in a small town called Leola, which is in the heart of Amish country. This was not the touristy part of Amish country, but the center of Amish life. Horses and buggies were commonplace; most of the businesses were Amish owned.

There were hardly any Jews or Catholics. Brooklyn was nearly all Jewish, or Irish, or Italian Catholic. I had not met many Protestants.

In my first few days in Lancaster I met a guy who introduced himself to me by saying, "Hi, glad to meet you, but I would like to tell you, there are three things I hate: Jews, people from New York, and people from New York who move to Lancaster."

I did not know quite what to say.

Also, there were no poor Jews. They were all business owners. In Brooklyn, the Jews were mostly lower middle class. No one owned their own home, let alone their own business. I felt totally lost in this new environment. I remember I stayed in my apartment most of the time smoking hashish, which I had brought with me to ease the transition.

My next door neighbor, from Reading, Pa., considered himself more streetwise, less of a hick than the average Lancaster native. He was sociable. He asked me to go with him to a Conestoga Valley Junior Chamber of Commerce meeting. He thought it might be a good experience for me: to get more involved in the local community. I had no interest, but he was persistent. I smoked an extra amount of hash to prepare. I was totally stoned.

When we got there he introduced me. He told the group I had just moved from New York, that I had been a teacher in the Bedford Stuyvesant area of Brooklyn, one of the toughest ghettos in the country. It seemed that one of the concerns of this conservative group was the rising drug use among teenagers. The JCC was committed to a project whose goal was to stamp out drug problems in the Conestoga Valley. They immediately realized that my experience in New York with problem kids who probably used drugs (they did to a degree that was unimaginable to these people) would qualify me to head up this committee. They asked me if I would be willing to get up in front of the group and share my experiences and the ways we dealt with the problem in Brooklyn. I could hardly stand.

I politely declined. I was just readjusting to the area; I did not want to commit my time until I was sure of what I was going to do. They understood, let me off the hook.

This all occurred in the first two weeks of my seventeen year stay in Lancaster. During this time I came to appreciate the area, make many friends, and see that beneath the surface all people are basically the same. I continued to verify this during many other adventures and experiences I had in other countries and with a wide range of people.

What I learned was that when you first meet people and evaluate them you can easily see how different they are. However, when you get to know them better you begin to recognize how similar they are, especially in their problems and fears. When you go deeper still you begin to notice the subtlties of their differences and that even though most people are similar in their desires they approach life with different atttitudes, behaviors, strentgths, and weaknesses. At the deepest level though, we are all the same. We are all connected and we are all derived from the same original source. I can't verify this scientifically but I am confident that it is true and that the key to our survival as a species is the realization of our connectedness and our learning to get along with each other.

My Daughter and Economic Theory

2009-04-10T10:53:00.000-07:00

Every time my daughter calls I expect it's going to cost me some money. For years I never said no to anything she requested. I told her though that when she calls me she should get to the money part first and skip the niceties . I also told her never to use the word "loan" when discussing our financial arrangements.

Some of my friends thought that I was a pushover, that I should cut her off. I didn't think so then, and I don't think so now. I believe that you should help your kids as much as you can. I don't believe you spoil your children by giving them too much. It's more complicated. I don't think that having no money makes you value money more. I also don't think that giving people things for free causes them to be less motivated to work.

I don't think that work is necessarily a valuable or productive way to spend your time. Matter of fact, God punished Adam in the Garden of Eden by requiring him to give up his life of leisure and work for his sustenance. So work, from a biblical point of view, is a punishment It's not a great thing, though, no matter how you look at it, especially if you don't like your job. An important question to ask yourself is "What would I be doing if I didn't have to work?" The whole concept of the "work ethic" and the nobility of putting in an honest days work are, in my opinion, part of the brainwashing that have been promoted so that we will work whether we want to or not.

I am noticing lately that there has been a lot of talk on TV, radio, and internet about the relative merits of capitalism vs. socialism. Capitalism refers to a system in which the means of production are controlled by individuals with the goal being profit. Socialism refers to a system where a group or government controls the means of production and profits are shared or given to the people for their benefit.

It seems to me that in our world today, there are no pure capitalist or socialist countries. The distinction between these two economic theories have become blurred. They probably were never, in their purest form, realistic ways to run a society. In order to determine how our financial system can function in the best way, we need to by-pass outdated labels and look more deeply into what is most practical and will create the best possible world.

Those who are motivated to work to make more or get more should absolutely be allowed to do so. We should encourage everyone who wants to have their own business and earn a profit to do so. But everyone in our society should have, without working, a house fully furnished with all appliances including TV, computer, food , clothing, health care, and a vehicle to get around. If everyone in the world could be given these basics a lot of our problems would be over.

This is not an unrealistic goal. A few advances in robotic technology and discoveries of new sources of energy can combine to enable us to produce all the stuff we need for these basics without much manpower. Everyone then would have the opportunity to use their time in ways that would make them happy. Isn't this what we are all striving for? This would not be socialism. It doesn't matter what you call it anyway. This will happen, if we survive as a species, at some point in the twenty-first century. Then, our biggest problem will be to determine how should we spend our time. I see nothing wrong with this.

Update on my Father

2009-04-08T15:16:00.000-07:00

Since my last blog my father sank into Code Blue. I don't know what that means and I didn't Google it, but when my sister reported it to me from the Emergency Room in the hospital, it didn't sound good. Matter of fact, I immediately went on-line to make plane reservations so I could leave immediately for California to be with my sister and mother.

That was yesterday. Today my father called me from the hospital to tell me he was OK. He was completely coherent and very matter of fact when he explained to me that he had felt a little weak yesterday before his caretaker had taken him to the hospital. He was feeling a lot better today. Amazingly, once again he had escaped death. His heart actually had stopped. His kidneys failed but he survived. They operated on him last night, replaced the battery in his pacemaker, and are now monitoring his recovery.

I don't know what to think or even what to feel. I am a little confused about what actually happened and am still concerned that the situation could worsen again, although things do seem a lot better. In talking to my sister I am not confident in the doctors. She does not believe that they really understand my father's condition or that they handled the situation in the best way. However, my father is still alive. Is it a result of modern medical magic or my father's unique attitude and will to live? Is it a combination of both?

Life and death are very mysterious. There are forces at work that we don't understand. There is a scientific way to look at things. There is a religious, spiritual way, and probably many ways in between. It seems to me that we need to continue to move forward on the scientific front to discover and develop everything we can to improve the quality and longevity of our lives. At the same time we need to be open to the existence of a spiritual reality and its intersection and influence on our physical lives.

Concern about my Dad

2009-04-07T12:47:00.000-07:00

My sister just called me. Whenever she calls my heart races a little. She lives close by to my parents and has been responsible for their care. My parents are 89 and 96 years old and have had some health problems--needless to say, I always worry my sister is calling with bad news. Today she told me that my father was in the emergency room. His heart rate had slowed to thirty two beats a minute; he was going to have to have surgery to replace his pacemaker. She was concerned and wanted me to share this concern with her.

I never appreciated my father until he was eighty years old. I always loved him and saw that he was a good person, but I felt that he was a little close-minded and narrow in his view of life. It seemed to me that he judged people based on two criteria: net worth and political leaning. His description after meeting someone might be "he is worth a lot of money but I think he is a Republican." There was nothing worse to him than a Republican, except maybe a Nazi, but they were close.

I came to see that my father actually was a special person. First of all he loves my mother dearly. They have been married for sixty-seven years. They were both virgins when they got married and I am sure they have been faithful to each other. By itself this is an impressive achievement.

Second, he was never stopped working on himself. One of his main beliefs is to do something each day to improve himself. When I was young he would come home from working in the post office after riding on the subway for over two hours (which I swore I would never do) and spend the evening studying vocabulary development or spelling books. No reason for this except he believed in constantly learning and growing.

He also studied history and philosophy. One of his heroes was Arnold Bennett who wrote a book about How to Live Each Day. My dad would quote from the book and it would immediately cause a rebellion within me. It was only later after I had found a system , the Fourth Way, that I believed offered the most sensible and clear description of life and tried to introduce it to my father that I came to realize that Arnold Bennett teachings were very similar to the Fourth Way. My father through an entirely different path had come to the same place that I had. This was very eye-opening to me.

It wasn't that I grew to respect my father because he had come to believe some of the same things that I did. I saw that in his own way he was seeking the truth and trying to become a better person. These are good things, really good things, and everyone would be better off if they lived with these two goals.

Although my father looked up to rich people and saw them somehow as being superior, he achieved a financial success in his own right. He retired from the Post Office after 30 years and a second time after 10 years as a medical stenographer. This enabled him to get two pensions and social security that have allowed him and my mother to live comfortably for over thirty years.

I am waiting nervously now for my sister to get back to me with an update on my father's condition. I have been preparing myself for the worst for the last few years during which time he has had a heart attack, a couple of strokes, and brain surgery. Amazingly he has pulled through each time and continued to work on himself.

One of his main goals now is to be able to walk by himself up and down the hall outside the door of his assisted living facility. He takes exercise classes everyday. On a recent visit to his doctor, he asked the doctor why he was so tired. The doctor responded that this was not unusual for a 96 year old man. My father wanted a second opinion.

I have asked myself many times over these past years if I have any unfinished business with my father. Is there anything I have wanted to tell him that I haven't? I don't think there is. He knows I love him and I know he loves me. I hope he is OK, but whatever happens he will continue to be an inspiration to me and my family and to everyone who has come to know him. You can't ask for much more than that.

Do We Control our Thoughts?

2009-04-06T17:03:00.000-07:00

If you spend any time observing your thoughts you will probably be shocked at how mundane self-centered, and repetitive they are. Almost all of us have a limited range of repeating thought patterns that takes up most of the time of our thought life. I have been told by people who know about this stuff that each of us has seven primary thought patterns. These may include food, sex, money, family, work, health, sports, or some derivation of any of these.

Since we usually don't think about what we think about (think about that fact) we live our lives, for the most part in a partial dreaming state in which we are constantly being barraged by a stream of repetitive thoughts. If you don't care how you spend your time and your thought patterns don't trigger a negative reverberation within your being this is not a problem. Matter of fact it keeps you out of trouble and enables you to get through the day without having to put any effort into thinking.

However, if you become aware of the quality of your thoughts while you are alone, which is most of the time, you may begin to recognize that you have very little control of your thoughts. They are primarily influenced by external stimuli or habit. You have been programmed to think in certain ways and it is very hard to escape from this condition. So your thoughts are controlled by what is going on around you and by your programming or both.

Now this entire conversation might sound like mumbo-jumbo and your reaction might be so what or what is he trying to say. What I am trying to say is a few things. First of all, most of the problems in the world are caused by this easily observable phenomenon that for the most part we don't control our thoughts and that most of our actions and feelings are influenced by this limited range of thoughts that we don't choose. Secondly, except for the very few, we are all equal in this situation. Even though who appear to be more together or more organized or more successful are usually that way because of circumstances rather than conscious choice. Thirdly, there is a possibility to overcome this. We can begin to observe our thoughts and then we can begin to choose what it is we want to think about. If we can learn to be more conscious in our thinking our decisions will be more objective and our lives will improve. This is the one of the main lessons that I have gotten from my spiritual searching. There is the possibilityof thinking on a higher level, one in which we are more free and have access to a greater intelligence. This makes a lot of sense to me. I wonder if I explained it clearly.

Grandchildren and Monsters

2009-04-05T17:16:00.000-07:00

My grandchildren spent most of the weekend here in Brigantine. I'm exhausted. Their favorite game is monster and I am the monster. It takes a lot of energy to be the monster. It takes a lot to be the victims of the monster, too. My grandchildren have the energy; that's their strength. My strength is my ability to make a fool of myself without regard to how I appear. I've always had this strength. It's one of the reasons I'm a good salesperson. I have never been too concerned with people's opinion of me.

People who don't know me mistake my lack of concern for my appearance for not caring about myself or other people. I don't think that's the reason. My priorities are different. I do care about myself and others; I'm just more interested in what's inside. This might sound like an excuse for laziness, and maybe it is, but it's hard to be good at everything.

My three year old granddaughter cried for two hours because she did not want to change her dress. She didn't think she would be pretty enough in her new dress. I finally got her to stop by acting totally crazy. I brought her up to my bedroom. We pretended that my bed was a boat and that you were safe when you were on the boat; if you walked on the floor you might get eaten or bitten by the monster . When the monster bit you you went crazy until someone touched you. She continued crying hysterically.

I started to yell and scream and run around the room flailing my arms, jerking my body in all directions, and making the most bizarre and distorted faces. It was a contest: Would I be able to keep it up long enough to penetrate her mood or would she continue crying until I passed out from exhaustion? After a few minutes or maybe ninety seconds, she could not control herself any more. She started to laugh and jump on the bed.

My willingness to be out of control without regard to how I was acting overcame her wanting to look pretty or her desire to get her way. There is a big lesson here, someplace. I have been trying to teach this lesson for years. It's a tough one to accept for those of us who pride ourselves on being polite and politically correct. I don't think that either of these two attitudes produce good results. I can understand if you disagree with this and I wouldn't argue strongly about my point of view. I wonder whether those of you who disagree with me can see my point of view.

Limitations of Logic

2009-04-03T12:09:00.000-07:00

Logic is definitely overrated. It is useful at times but it has limitations. If you can understand the limitations of logic that is a big first step, in my opinion, towards personal development and happiness. Experience is more valuable than logic. Objective observation is more valuable. Intuition is also more valuable. The biggest problem with logic is that it fools you into believing that you know more than you do or that you have a greater understanding than you actually have. It prevents you from investigating the possibilities that might be considered illogical.

It is logical to assume that people will act in their own self-interests, but oftentimes they don't. It is logical to believe that when you make sense people will understand you, but they don't. It is logical to assume that if we work hard and do the right things our lives will be positive. However our experience doesn't bear this out. It is logical that our physical reality should consist of physical components that have substance, but the results of quantum physics has taught us that physical reality does not have solidity but shifts back and forth between a wave and particle depending on our position of observation.

Shit happens, and logical outcomes, especially in the big and important events in our lives are rare. Where does this line of reasoning lead? It leads to a softening of our views, a more fluid, lighthearted, and non-attached approach to life. We need to lower our expectations in any individual situation but maintain the less logical viewpoint that everything will work out in the end. Where logic is most valuable is when we realize that the world in which we live is unpredictable and much of it still remains a mystery. When we come to the realization that we do not know and that no one knows for sure what will happen tomorrow then we can begin to enjoy our lives.

I want to be clear about this. I am not against logic as a tool in our arsenal for trying to understand our lives and make the world a better place. It is only one tool, however. We need to develop others, those that enable us to hold opposite opinions simultaneously. We need to be more creative in our thinking, emotions, and actions. We need to cultivate our intuition so that we can take risks that make sense and offer us the opportunity to make real breakthroughs in our relationships and businesses. Our major enemies are fear and habit. I have no question we can do it, although this view is quite illogical.

Who are the Good Guys?

2009-04-02T16:39:00.001-07:00

I grew up believing that the "good guys" always win. First, we won the American Revolution, freeing ourselves from the tyranny of Great Britain. Next, the North beat the South in the Civil War ending the evils of slavery. The U.S. won WWI and WWII defeating Germany and Hitler, the epitome of "bad guys." Then the Dodgers beat the Yankees in the 1955 World Series and I knew for sure the world was a fair place. Everything seemed clear in those days. The movies always had happy endings and I believed that I would meet the girl of my dreams and find a job I loved that would make me rich.

I look at it a little differently now. I am not always sure: who are the good guys? When the stock market goes up does this mean that the good guys are winning? Are the democrats really the good guys, as my father totally believes? Does it really matter what party is in charge? When we outsource tens of thousands of jobs to India and China are the good guys the ones who want to keep the work here, at home; or are they the ambitious, efficient, and reliable workers who are capable of doing the work for less money? Are the good guys the ones who preach the Gospel of Jesus and the requirement to "Love our Neighbors?"; or are they the ones who warn us against the evils of superstitious belief systems?

Are the good guys the ones who want to do whatever it takes to keep America safe including torture and limit our rights to privacy, or are they the ones who protest against war even when our enemies are clearly evil and want to destroy us?

What about Global Warming? Are the good guys the ones who want to save our planet and protect our environment; or are they the ones who want to protect us from overreacting and overspending to unproven theories or speculation?

I am not sure we can divide the world into good guys and bad guys. I am not even sure that we can determine who is right or wrong on many of the issues facing our planet today. When you listen carefully, both sides usually make very powerful arguments supporting their point of view. We can't predict the future; if we are honest we must admit that we really don't know the right course of action in many cases.

I think the good guys today are the ones who are interested in doing two things: promoting personal freedom and eliminating pain and suffering.

I think the good guys are the one who are willing to keep their mind open to both sides of an issue, who approach a problem not with the goal of convincing others that they are right but whose primary motivation is to explore the question with objectivity and sincerity.

In some cases it is clear what is right, but in most cases it is not so clear. This does not mean that we should do nothing or not move forward unless we are sure what to do. What it does mean is that we must always be open to the possibility that we may not be right, that many things are not the way they seem to be, and sometimes we need to do the exact opposite of what we have done in the past. It is only through flexibility, willingness to change, and openness to admitting that we are wrong that we can navigate the complexities of today's challenging world.

Discipline or Addiction

2009-04-01T08:47:00.000-07:00

I now have written my blog conscientiously for 37 days. I've only missed one day except for the time I was in Florida. I'm proud of myself. If I continue on this pace for the next ten years I will have written over 3000 blogs. That's a little scary since I will have to come up with 3000 different thoughts, stories, or ideas. Actually, that's not a problem.

The problem is keeping myself motivated to believe that I actually have something to say, that there is some value in doing this. For years I have been disciplined in ways that very few people are. What I consider discipline might also be addiction or neurosis based on guilt of not following through or giving up. Let me give some examples.

#1- When I was nineteen I went to a lecture given by the Maharishi. My mother went with me. She was supportive of my interest in spiritual pursuits. The Maharishi said that if I meditated twice a day for twenty minutes each time I would reach bliss consciousness in five years. I did this for five years, hardly missing a session. My wife would get irritated with me at times for disrupting the family schedule, bit I did not want to miss my twenty minute session.
After five years I did not reach bliss consciousness. I went back to the Maharishi and told him that I had not achieved the goal. He said, "Do it for another five years." So I did and after five more years, hardly missing a session, not reaching bliss consciousness, I decided to try something else.

#2- Every day for the last thirty two years I have been doing Yoga. I've missed on average maximum of ten days per year. I stand on my head for four minutes every single day and do at least six or seven other postures. It usually takes me thirty minutes. I can't leave the house without doing my exercises. My new wife sometimes gets irritated with me for my fanaticism and that it takes me so long to get ready in the morning.

#3- I walk thirty minutes a day. I have been doing this for eighteen years. I remember the first day I did it, thinking it might be a good idea to get some exercise now that my basketball career was winding down. I haven't missed many days during this time except when my back goes out and I can't walk (which happens once a year for four or five days.) No one seems irritated by this except myself. I get a gnawing pain if I haven't walked; I feel pressure each day until I have completed my walk.

#4- For the last thirty years, no exaggeration, I have fasted at least once a year for a minimum of five days and as many as twelve. Fasting is horrible and tortuous. I dread these fasts. During the entire time I am fasting I dream about food. My wife gets more than irritated with me. First of all she thinks it's harmful; secondly she doesn't like to eat alone. Also I don't smell too great during these fasts; everyone who comes into contact with me suffers.

I think I have benefited from these disciplines. Matter of fact I'm almost sure of it. I wonder if I'll feel that way after 3000 blogs.

Accident or Wake Up Call

2009-03-31T09:37:00.000-07:00

I was 24 years old. I was married with a three year old son. I was totally broke. My wife and I were living with her grandmother in Columbia, Pa. We had just returned from a four month adventure during which we had traveled across the country to California to visit my parents and then up the Pacific coast to Vancouver, B.C. We thought we would live in Canada and start a new life for ourselves. When we got to the border they would not let us into the country. It seemed my hair was too long and they viewed us as hippies escaping from America who could bring nothing positive to Canada.

We traveled back to Chicago. We split up there. My wife and son went back East. I went to California to see if I could make a little money. I was there for about six weeks and worked three or four different jobs including selling Fuller Brushes, pots and pans, and dating services. I couldn't make any money and missed my family so I came back to Pennsylvania to Grandma's house.

As payment for rent Grandma gave me some chores. I had never done any chores growing up in the projects of Brooklyn to a doting Jewish mother who required nothing of me.
Grandma made me mow the lawn. It was the size of a large postage stamp but I was proud of being able to do it. I was growing up and needed to learn these things. Even though I was married I had never taken work or responsibility seriously. My mind was on philosophy and religion and what I considered to be more important things.

I desperately needed a job. I applied for thirty-nine jobs in a two month period and was rejected for every one. I was either over qualified or under qualified or second best or something else was wrong with me. I didn't know what to do. Finally I was hired by Combined Insurance Company to sell accident and health insurance to businesses door to door. They hired anyone who breathed and they promised me fifteen dollars a day for food money during a weeks training session. I figured I could get by on five or six and send the rest back to my wife.

The training was an interesting experience. I roomed with a mormon who told me he had tried every religion and teaching until he had finally found the one true religion in Mormonism. This set the stage for my later inquiry into the Mormon religion.

I also met a full blooded American Indian who could out fight, out fuck, and out sell any man he met, or so he said. He was a gentle soul actually and introduced me to spiritualism. He was a true believer in our ability to communicate with the dead and his wife was a medium who had been Cleopatra in a previous life. I took him seriously and spent five eventful years investigating the Spiritualist religion. That's a long story for another blog or two.

On the business front the week was devoted to memorizing a presentation, word for word, intonation for intonation. Everything had to be said exactly as they taught ,if we were to qualify to sell their insurance. We also learned the philosophy of W. Clement Stone the founder of the company and one of the earliest sales and motivational thinkers. His basic philosophy was that success consisted of three elements. 1- activity knowledge 2-know-how through experience and 3-PMA or positive mental attitude. We could all make millions like he did by applying these principles.

After a week of intense brainwashing and motivation I was psyched to get out and sell. I was also deeply depressed that my life had come to this point. My first assignment was in northwestern Pa., in a small town called Warren. It was the middle of winter. I had to drive there with Benny, my spiritualist Indian friend, in my volkwagon on a Sunday, in a blizzard, to begin my first day of work on Monday.

We were told that a sales manager would be sent from the home office to work with us on our first day and that we would receive the commission from whatever was sold. It could amount to a couple of hundred dollars. I needed the money. My sales manager, however, did not arrive until late in the day on Monday. I was a little discouraged as we did not hit the road until it was dark. On our way to our first presentation my volkswagon was broadsided. I woke up in the hospital with an anesthesiologist staring down at me. He had a kind face and told me that I would live. I had my spleen removed, kidney damage, and some other internal injuries. I spent three weeks in the hospital, most of it in intensive care. This was a turning point in my life. I realized that I could not let myself get into this situation again. This was not an accident. It was a wake up call. I had to now consider what I was going to do with the rest of my life.

Motorcycles, bicyles, and balance

2009-03-30T15:51:00.000-07:00

When I was 23 I was selling motorcycles parts to motorcycle gangs. I actually was a marketing consultant for International Motorcycles Incorporated whose main customers were Warlocks and Pagans. IMI was selling chrome parts, front end extensions, fancy sissy bars, comfortable leather seats--anything that was needed to convert an ordinary motorcycle into a chopper. IMI was a profitable business; the company only started to have problems when the government cracked down on what they considered unsafe vehicles. Choppers disappeared; so did our business.

The owners of the business were a psychiatrist and his son. The father had financed the business to keep his son out of trouble, which was nearly impossible under any circumstances, but especially difficult since our primary customer base were some of the leading suppliers of illegal drugs on the East Coast. Interestingly, the other leading suppliers were some of the people from my old neighborhood in Brooklyn.

When the motorcycle parts business tanked we made a decision to go into the bicycle business. We did a little marketing research to see whether or not conventional motorcycle dealers, (Honda, Suzuki, Kawasaki, and Yamaha) might be interested in adding bicycles to their product line, especially for the Christmas season. I went out into the field and in a month sold thirty or so dealers over a thousand bicycles. This impressive performance convinced the owner that we could make money selling bicycles; we placed orders for nearly 10,000 bicycles to be imported from Sweden, France, Japan, and Columbia, S.A.

This was in the early seventies when gas prices were booming and ten speeds were gaining popularity. The bicycle business was booming, too, and I became somewhat of a legend in the business by selling thousands of bicycles to dealers throughout the East. However, as I later learned, bicycles are a cyclical business. When they're hot, they're hot, when they're not they're not. The business dropped off quickly.

What added to our problems was the government was suspicious of our business. First of all, we had been involved with some of the sleaziest degenerates in the motorcycle business. Secondly, we were importing products from Columbia. The government actually seized one of our shipments, about two thousand bikes, broke into the boxes looking for drugs they thought we might be smuggling. They found nothing but claimed no responsibility for the damage they caused to our product.

We were stuck with thousands of bicycles in a declining market and many of them were damaged and unusable. The owner was under some serious pressure. He had invested hundreds of thousands to keep his son out of trouble and now the investment was very shaky. He announced he needed to get away and think about what to do. On a Friday night he left on a vacation to Tahiti. On Saturday, the next day, our warehouse with thousands of bicycles burned down. Not one bicycle was left.

No one, including me, was the least bit suspicious of this. We hired an insurance adjuster who did an incredible job of marketing the loss, getting the owner most of his investment back. Watching this insurance adjuster operate was an eye-opening experience. He led the insurance company's claims adjuster to value the loss in such a way that the maximum possible amount of money was paid out.

The thing that motivated me to write this blog and tell this little story was that I was thinking about whether or not a life of balance made more sense than a life of fanaticism.

Balance is boring; fanaticism is exciting.

While I was working at IMI, I was also pursuing my spiritual interests. I began an ongoing conversation with Norwood McTootle. They called him Woody. I was studying Indian philosophy at the time. Woody listened to my explanations and said very little. Finally he said he was going to tell me the secret of life. He said it could be summed up in one word. He would tell me the word when he thought I was ready. Finally after the warehouse burned down and the owner returned from Tahiti, Woody told me the secret. The word was BALANCE. I never forgot that.

Betting On The Future

2009-03-29T12:51:00.000-07:00

If you believe that the world wasn't created one second ago with us having a memory of a past that didn't really happen then you must accept that there is such a thing as history. If there is such a thing as history the question becomes what can we learn from history. The main lesson of history is that the world has changed. Whether it has been for the better can be debated, although for most people life has improved. What can't be debated is that if someone was transported through time from a hundred or a thousand or two thousand years ago the world would be nearly unrecognizable to them.

If we continue along this line of thought we may also surmise that not only has there been significant change but that the rate of change has been accelerating. The 1776 years from the birth of Jesus to theAmerican Revolution resulted in minor changes. It was still difficult to travel long distances and communicate quickly. Most people lived and died within a few miles of their birth. There was a small aristocratic class and the rest of the people worked their whole lives just to survive.

From 1776 to the beginning of the twentieth century there was an increase in the rate of change. The industrial revolution resulted in many significant inventions including the telephone, automobile, airplane, radio, and the electric light. These inventions expanded our ability to travel and communicate. Life was not just about work. Our awareness of the planet and our ability to experience new and different things greatly increased.

In the last 100 years life on our planet has changed more significantly than at any other time in our history. We have the ability to instantaneously communicate to any place on the planet and the capability of destroying ourselves through the creation of nuclear weaponry. We also have the potential to dramatically increase our life spans and reduce the amount of time we need to work to produce the basic necessities, food, clothing, and shelter, that we need for survival.

History has taught us that we are progressing. Our lives are improving. Unquestionably, this is a difficult time and there is plenty of fear and confusion. However the probability is that we will figure it out and in fifty years from now we will be living in a world that is nearly unrecognizable from today. Although there are those who can make a case for armageddon, that's not the way to bet. If you bet on our destruction you lose either way.

Sources of Good and Evil

2009-03-28T10:21:00.001-07:00

It surprises me that so many people think they're logical, that they make sense, when in fact they are clueless and misinformed. It also surprises me how amazing our world is and how much technological progress we have made. How can we create computers that process and access billions of pieces of information, planes fly across the world, tv's that transmit images across space, buildings that reach the sky, and artificial body parts to replace real ones when we can hardly get along with each other.

Life on earth is enigmatic, a real mystery. We slaughter each other by the millions; at the same type, we develop cures and medical advances that prolong life and save millions from lives of pain and suffering.Our cruelty, prejudice, and ability to fool ourselves into believing we know more than we do is only equaled by our talent to create incredibly beautiful art, music, and theater.

To me, West Side Story is incredible art.
Some believe there is evil on our planet, that Satan actually exists, and his influence causes the bad things that happen in this world. Some feel man has an uncontrolled animal instinct, a legacy from our apelike ancestors, and that this aggressive, selfish, part of our being, when let loose, can cause unspeakably horrible actions.

We don't know for sure why bad stuff happens. We do know that it does happen. We also know that good stuff happens, real good stuff. If we are explorers of truth we might identify traces of evidence left behind in all action--this can lead us to understanding the sources of good and evil. When we explore evil, remnants of vanity and pride appear in all their many manifestations. When we investigate beauty and good we find kindness without expectation, humility, and an openness to change. The trained observer and spiritual seeker cultivates discrimination and discernment to recognize what path to follow, what to avoid.

Waifs & Return to Paradise

2009-03-27T07:23:00.000-07:00

I spent the last two days with my friend Cathy. She's from California, somewhere in Silicon Valley. She's forty-nine. I met her when she was twenty-0ne. I mentioned to her that she was a waif when I first met her. We looked it up on Google.

Waif (from the old French guaif: stray beast) refers to a living creature removed by hardship, loss or other helpless circumstances from his or her original surroundings. Cathy agreed: she was a waif. Now she is a powerful women. She has done a lot of work on herself and it's paid off.

I was thinking, though, about this idea of waifs. In the Judeo-Christian tradition, as well as others who express it slightly differently, the first humans were born into a paradisaical setting, a Garden of Eden, where everything was perfect, no problems, no unmet desires, no longing or restlessness, just peace and contentment. Then, because of some transgression, we were cast out
of our paradise and thrust into this world that we now live. From this point of view we are all waifs trying to return to where we originally came, a place where we can live happily ever after.

If you are honest with yourself you might begin to recognize that, although life is not terrible, and is often wonderful, there is great room for improvement.

I went to a workshop once with Harville Hendricks who said that most of us see life as a constant struggle, interrupted by moments of happiness and fun. He believed it could be the opposite: constant happiness and fun interrupted by moments of struggle. Is it possible that it could be even better than than the Garden of Eden? There is some truth behind all fairy tales and there is a lot we don't understand. Who really knows what is possible?

What is true for sure though, is that our existing situation is problematic and can be improved. It will not be improved unless there is significant change. We are trying to hold on to our old ways and our old habits, hoping that the stock market will go up, that our jobs will be more secure, that our health will improve, that our relationships will flourish. But perhaps we should embrace the crumbling of the old, so that we might create the possibility of the new, and better. This may seem a little risky, but in my mind, we have very little to lose.

Communication Problems

2009-03-24T15:07:00.000-07:00

Since I can remember I have been attracted to philosophy and understanding the world. I have never been very good with my hands or with anything that has to do with mechanical work. I also grew up in a household in which business was never discussed and the only conversations about money were arguments between my father and mother (about who should control the finances.) Each thought the family's financial situation would be improved if they were the one in charge. The problem, obviously was that they had no money. My father worked for the Post Office and my mother hardly worked at all. When she did work as a sales clerk at Martin's Department Store she ended spending more on travel, lunches, and shopping; she quit in order just reduce the extra expenses.

I never worried about money as a child and always thought I would make a lot. My initial goal was to be a lawyer. But, after getting married and having a child at twenty-one, I had to abandon my plans for law school and try to support my family. I worked in a number of sales positions. I worked for three insurance companies, sold chemicals, burglar alarms, dating services, fuller-brush, and cemetery property. I was always a good talker and was not afraid to speak to anyone. These traits enabled me to get commission sales jobs, to survive.

Only after I started working in the consulting business for a company started by a New Yorker who had moved to Lancaster was I able to combine my interest in ideas with my need to make money. (By the way, the guy who started this company was the one who threatened to kill me as I mentioned in my last blog.)

Consulting especially marketing consulting allowed me to consider what influenced peoples' actions and how to present ideas in a powerful way. What I came to see after years of studying these questions and working with hundreds of clients was that an important element in business success, maybe the most important, was the ability to see things clearly and to express what you see in a clear and direct way.

Whenever I am confronted with a situation that requires strategic thinking or one in which I am dealing with people who are hostile to me or my ideas my first thought is to determine what is the truth that I want to express. I then consider what is the best way to communicate this truth. Oftentimes what happens is that I don't express my thought or idea in the most diplomatic or gentle way. I then need to scramble to explain myself, to dig myself out of the hole I have created by my directness. It helps me to have a partner in these moments who knows me, who can say "what Ira meant by that was" and then soften my words, or express them so that they will be more easily accepted.

The reason I am writing this blog is that I just was eliminated from a deal that I had been working on for fifteen months and invested thousands of dollars. My partner and I received the following e-mail ending the relationship:

This is a final notice that we will not be moving forward with our joint venture. After N. and Ira spoke in private I questioned her to find out what was discussed and learned that Ira was completely out of line and disrespectful to me and the organization. There is no possible way that I can work with Ira on a team especially now that I do not trust him at all. Completely unprofessional and for that reason, we are finished working with him. If you have any questions about what was said, feel free to direct them to Ira.

B.

President

Based on this e-mail my partner believes I cost us the deal and he wants to end our partnership. In my mind I said nothing in the meeting to justify this type of reaction. What I know is that I don't disrespect B. or his organization and that my intent was only to communicate with N my concerns about B's lack of experience. I also stated that since their business had declined fifty percent they needed this deal to help secure their future.

These types of miscommunications and overreactions happen all the time in business, in families, and in international relations. It is unfortunate that oftentimes good relationships are ruined because of minor issues. However I need to look at this in the right way. First of all I can't get too upset with myself, my partner, or the executives in this company. Secondly I need to recognize that after forty years of trying to be a better communicator I still have a lot to learn. I am not going to give up.