Continuing Adventures of Stanley

Stanley was obsessed with sex. I know most men are, but maybe because of his handicaps Stanley was especially dominated by thoughts of sex and sexual fantasies. Stanley was fearless, absolutely unfazed by rejection. He would ask nearly every girl he met, in the nicest and most unassuming way, if she might be interested in having sex with him. Some did; he asked a lot of women. Not only did he approach every women, he enlisted friends to be on the lookout for any available woman.

Stanley was relentless; he pursued any woman who did not absolutely say, No. If you mentioned you might know someone he bugged you relentlessly about the meeting. Stanley had more than the average number of unusual relationships; not surprising, when you consider that, in many ways, he was not the type who would attract the average woman.

Stanley's mother was his matchmaker. She was totally devoted, as only a mother could be, to Stanley's happiness. She finally found the perfect woman for Stanley. Jewish. Well educated. From a nice family. She had one flaw; maybe a plus for the relationship. She had a rare eye disease, retinitis pigmentosa, that made her essentially blind.

Stanley's mother had been working on the introduction for a while. The girl was from Maryland, which made logistics a little difficult. Finally, the girl's mother brought her daughter to Lancaster to meet Stanley. Stanley's primary concern, even on the first date, was how he could get this women alone. He called me and asked if he could babysit for my three year old son, Scott--a perfect ploy for getting the girl alone; alone in a one bedroom apartment with a wall separating the bedroom into two parts.

My wife and I agreed to pick up Stanley and his new girl, bring them to our house, and then announce after Scott was asleep that we would be going out for a few hours. We left the two of them alone, although we did have concerns about Scott. What if he woke up and needed something?

"There's nothing to worry about," Stanley said.

"I can handle anything," the girl said.

We drove around Lancaster aimlessly for two hours. Then we went home.

We walked in. Scott was up; he was running around wildly. Stanley was laying on our bed completely nude. His girl friend, also nude, was on the other side of the wall staggering around. We didn't know what she was doing.

We asked her what was happening. She told us Scott had woken up. He had come into their room, stole their clothes, and hid them throughout the house. She could not get Stanley out of the bed; she could not find the clothes.

We found the clothes, got Stanley dressed, and took him and his girl friend back to Stanley's house. The mothers asked, "How was the date?

"Went well," I said. "This could be the start of something big."

Stanley never saw the girl again. He said the sex was better than average. Which meant to me that not getting together was definitely her decision, not his.