Questionable Benefits of Chaos

My life has been a little hectic lately. Not that I mind. I thrive on chaos. I actually specialize in creating confusion and mayhem. I used to do it naturally without even thinking. This changed though when I became involved in the Fourth Way. This is a teaching whose basic principle is that we are very mechanical in our actions and thoughts. We need to break through the chains of our habits if we want to develop ourselves and become more conscious. When I started studying this philosophy I interpreted this to mean that any actions that create discomfort and change are good. Chaos was actually a preferred state. I embraced this wholeheartedly. My tendency to create upheaval was no longer a liability. I could now do it and rationalize that it was helping everyone around me.

Sometimes though it gets a little out of hand. I think this is what's going on in my life now. First of all we have had guests at our house nonstop. This is not necessarily bad. Matter of fact we bought our beach house so that people would want to come and visit us. We figured it would be a way that we could attract our kids and grandkids. The problem is that we did not realize how much effort it takes to constantly entertain We also did not expect the amount of people that would be coming and the length of time they would be staying.

My daughter has been down three times in the last six weeks. Each time she has called to tell me she would be coming down with a friend to relax. Each time she showed up with a minimum of four friends and each time within 24 hours at least 2-3 additional friends or their boy friends showed up. For the most part they behaved reasonably except they were up all night, usually getting to bed by 6 am and sleeping most of the day. Plus most of them smoke. I love my daughter and enjoy spending time with her and really don't want to limit her enjoyment and feeling that this is her house also.

My friend Marty visited us also a couple of weeks ago. He stayed eight days. I love being with him and arguing about politics and life but after a while it does wear me down. He smokes two packs a day, talks non-stop in an extremely loud voice, and is constantly critical of me. I still felt badly when he left.

My step-daughter in law and her sister showed up a few days ago, Both darling girls. They decided they wanted to go out at night and asked us if we would watch our grandson. They said he would be no problem. He had just been fed, diaper changed and was expected to sleep the night. They went out around 11:30. At 11:45 he was up and crying. He cried for over an hour straight. He then seemed to get a burst of energy and was crawling all over, getting into one dangerous situation after another. My wife and I were exhausted. It was 2:00 in the morning. Our normal bedtime is 10:00. This is what grandparents do, though. Plus our daughter-in-law doesn't have it easy and deserves a break whenever she can get it.

Although I am effected by all this activity, it is my wife who bears the brunt of it. She feels compelled to keep the house neat and make sure everyone is fed and enjoying themselves. Last night was the first night in a while there was no one here. She went to bed early to catch up on some much needed sleep. I stayed downstairs to catch up on episodes of Entourage and True Blood.

When I finally decided to go to bed I couldn't find the remote. I literally spent 45 minutes looking for it. Finally, since I did not know how to turn off the tv, I went upstairs to ask for my wife's help. I had to wake her up. Her first comment was, "your're a moron." I didn't take it personally. She did go downstairs and found the remote in some hidden, almost invisible part of the chair, although she probably would say it was more obviously visible.

My theory of the benefits of chaos is being tested now. I may have to moderate it somewhat.

Oh My God!

I just spent an hour and a half on the phone with Wells Fargo trying to determine whether or not I qualify for the new government mortgage modification plan. I was cut off twice. I was transferred, finally, to five different people before I got to the right person; she couldn't help me because the plan was too new and she really didn't know much about it.

My head is hurting. I have stomach cramps. My sinuses are starting to bother me. I should be used to this by now, after dealing for years with Comcast, Dell, and my arch-enemy Verizon, but it's still hard to take--when you can't get a straight answer, when you have to listen over and over and over again to "This call is very important to us. Please hold for the next available representative."

Adding insult to injury: I was writing this blog while on hold, giving an interesting play by play, which I thought was pretty humorous, although painful. I was speaking to the fifth person who supposedly was the expert. I asked her specifically whether or not I would have to use up all my money before I qualified for a loan remodification or if my low income was enough to qualify me? When she didn't know I told her I had read on financialstability.gov that you had to warrant that you did not have sufficient liquid assets to qualify. I was wondering what "warrant" meant and what was the definition of sufficient liquid assets. She had not heard of this and asked if I could find the exact place in the website where this was stated. While looking for this, I went to my favorites and lost all I had written in my blog.

Which increased my head and stomach pain.

I don't want to whine, but oh my god, how tortuous.

And now I am writing this with an intent to be inspirational and motivational and feel like I was just beaten up. Maybe tomorrow will be better.

Chaos Rules

My eighty-nine year old mother, Frances, just called to complain that she felt helpless to help my ninety-seven year old father, Maury. She felt she was alone and that she had nowhere to turn. She wanted to speak to her only son because "who else did she have?" Meanwhile, my sister is taking care of everything and my mother has twenty-four hour a day help for her and my father.

Simultaneously, I received a call back from a business associate who had not shown up for a meeting with me yesterday. I had driven an hour and a half to meet with him. He did not mention or apologize for not calling or showing up. He just wanted to set up another meeting. Since I was on the other line with my crying mother I didn't confront him about this. I will though.

My wife this morning was speaking to her lawyer brother about a big problem that is troubling her. It seems the Social Security Agency claim they sent her $69,000 in benefits over five years and she has NOT received one penny. Plus, she has a letter from the local Security Agency stating that she did not receive any money.

While writing this blog, my son Scott called. He he is a lawyer. He told me he was a little concerned about the shooting death of a 51 year old lawyer in the parking lot outside his office. It seems that a man in a ski mask jumped out of the car and put one bullet in the back of his head and then drove away.

I could go on. I hope you're getting the picture. Chaos rules. Truth, reality, and common sense are in short supply. We need some warriors now--people willing to fight for the truth, for reason, to bring sanity back into the world. We have enough wimps--people whose only concern is their own personal comfort and happiness.

Check out "The Trap" and "Century of Self," two documentaries that portray a viewpoint about how our society has evolved in the last hundred years. Very provocative stuff.