Community Action, Esoteric Ideas, and Eavesdropping

I just got back from a meeting of a community action group whose purpose is to train inner city kids in life skills. In attendance were two black muslims, two women, and two community organizers. I was the only white guy. I had previously met with the organization head, one of the woman. I had seen a sign outside her building advertising life counseling. I was cold calling on businesses to introduce my consulting services and decided to check out whether there might be an opportunity for me to get some work. After explaining my background to her (I was a social worker and teacher in the ghettoes of Brooklyn) and giving her a copy of my book she decided that I might be a good addition to her board. She thought I could add diversity so she decided to invite me to the board meeting. In the spirit of not having anything better to do I decided to check out the meeting.

One of the first things I noticed was that I did not feel at all like an outsider. I had spent the entire day at another business discussing the communication and personal problems of the business owners and the employees. The environment at this center seemed a little more upbeat, friendly, and positive much more to my liking than the business I had just left or the average businesses I observe. These people were optimistic and hopeful, opposite of what you might think would be the case in a ghetto business devoted to solving the most difficult of family and children problems

I did notice from the amount of Obama pictures on the wall and from eavesdropping on some of the conversations as I was waiting for the meeting to begin how significant Obama's elections was to the world view and attitude of the members. By the way, I am a professional eavesdropper. After years of practicing this little known art I have perfected it and have learned to eavesdrop on multiple conversations simultaneously. What I have noticed is that most people talk about nothing of relevance.

The easiest and most fruitful places for eavesdropping are restaurants and security lines in airports. These conversations for the most part are nonsensical. Restaurant conversations are mostly about gossip, health problems, or the state of the participants material possessions, especially their homes. Airport conversations are usually boring recounts of places that have been visited or worst of all businessmen checking in with their offices to make sure that assignments are getting done or that arrangments have been made. What annoys me most about these conversations is the urgency and importance that are being attached to these conversations even though most of the products are non-essential and evenly irrelevant. I mean people act like shipments of corkboard or specifications for lampshades are critical to the planets survival.

When the board meeting was actually started one of the Muslims, Juwanda, was asked to present his background and how he felt he could contribute to the board and the organization. He was about my age and told his story about his life on the streets as an activist dealing with prisoners and drug addicts and how he had developed experience in life skills training especially from the prisoners. He mentioned that people in prison have the time, space, and will to actually think about things and because of the this are often in the best position to come up with good ideas about self development and helping the community. The women leader objected a little to this saying that even though she was tremendously busy she found the time, space, and will to come up with good ideas also, and had never been in prison.

I was then asked to tell my story. I explained to the group without the slightest bit of nervousness or even self-consciousness that I had spent the last thirty years working in the business world attempting to bring spiritual values to business. I mentioned that in order to do this I had to understand what were spiritual values. I expressed my view that at the core of all religions was a similar truth, that we were all created from the same source, that we had lost our connection with this source, and that spiritual work in all religions involved returning to the source from which we came. This return began with self-study and getting to see the truth about ourselves and our condition. I said that I believed that all effective self-development programs had to include this element of self-awareness training.

I also expressed the idea that the world was changing and that the old ways of running businesses and becoming successful based on greed, competiveness, and aggression were no longer working. What was needed was a more sincere, sharing, and caring attitude. This leveled the playing field and provided an equal opportunity to motivate ghetto kids and rich kids from white suburbia. They liked this point. One of the muslims pointed out to me, though after I finished my talk that he was not willing to take money from the casinos, no matter how much they were offering. I had no idea why he even said this. For the first time though I had a little self-doubt that he might know about my gambling background, although I had never met him before.

When I got home and reflected on what had happened at the meeting I was happy with the way I presented myself and saw that I can impact people with my ideas, although I wasn't sure that I could really help this group or that I wanted to. I woke up though, in the middle of the night with the idea that a way to help these kids was to create workshops in which the kids are asked to present basic esoteric ideas through art, theater, dance. poetry, song, and story telling. I thought of the Wizard of Oz , the Emperor's New Clothes, and West Side Story as examples of performance and creativity being used as vehicles to express deeper lessons about life. This is not a new idea and has been incorporated within most traditions since the beginning of history. The hard part is to organize it and develop a structure and process through which the kids can be motivated to spend their time creating and expressing themselves in ways that will enable them to get to know themselves better.

I think I'll send an e-mail to the director telling her about this possibility. I'm still not sure whether I want to get involved or not. I'll have to think about it.

Spending Time Wisely

I used to be addicted to craps. It was a very expensive addiction. I never kept records, but I estimate I lost over $150,000 during my twenty year career. This is about $7500 per year, $150 per week. During that time my average income was $2000 per week or more. I am not justifying my losses. Just stating the facts.

I remember nights visualizing the roll of the dice, imagining different scenarios in which I would win hundreds of thousands of dollars. This relaxed me and helped me sleep. No matter what I was doing during this phase of my life I'd constantly think about heading down to Atlantic City. It never was an effort for me to drive two or more hours at any time of day or night to satisfy my craving.

Today I live under six minutes, if there is traffic, from the nearest casino. I have no desire to shoot dice at all. Matter of fact, I don't even enjoy going to the casinos. I'm addicted to poker. I play on the internet; I don't have to leave my house. I don't lose much money either. I don't win, but I estimate my losses are under a thousand per year. The main cost is the amount of time I play, forty or more hours per week. Actually, this is a little misleading. I'm usually watching TV or listening to music on TV at the same time. If I wasn't playing poker I might just be watching or listening to TV.

I'm addicted to poker. When I can't sleep I visualize hands I've played, or hands I imagine I'll play in the future. It helps me relax. The reason I need to relax is because playing poker puts me under pressure. First of all, especially on the internet, there are a lot of bad beats, hands that I am positive I am going to win but lose. Secondly, when I am not playing I feel compelled to play. This puts additional pressure on me.

What helps me relax is to not to play poker at all. When I take a few days off, maybe a week or two, I feel terrific. As if a large burden's been lifted; I'm free to do whatever I want.

Which eventually leads me back to playing poker.

(Even writing about it, looking forward to not playing is beginning to relax me.)

I know, this is a little ridiculous, but I don't think it's much different than the way most people spend their lives.

I could be living in a monastery and spending ten or more hours a day in prayer or meditation. I could be working in the Post Office, boxing mail. I could be in Africa with a spoon carefully digging forty to fifty hours a week with the hope of finding a bone or two. Or maybe I could be a doctor treating sick people sixty hours a week. Many doctors play poker on the internet to relax. What's keeping me from being a doctor is not gambling. I was never good at organic chemistry.

How about trading stocks, writing greeting cards, selling pocketbooks, counseling addicts or neurotics, driving a limousine, training race horses, making important decisions, fixing roofs, or walking across the Appalachian Trail? Would any of these activities be better ways to spend my time? My mother would probably think so. I'm not so sure. I just read that there are more blog writers who make money than lawyers. They spend fifty to sixty hours a week writing their opinions about sports, politics, sex, health, investing, exercise, or how to spend your time wisely. I wish I knew how they get paid. I'm not sure I'd want to do it anyway.

What I would really like to do is sit around with a group of wise men and women in a cafe discussing the meaning and purpose of life. Now that I think about it, though, I'd rather have these discussions in my house while I'm on the internet playing poker. If there are any wise men and women who are reading this and want to come to my house they are more than welcome.