Starting with our children

I just spoke to my son, Seth, and my daughter, Katie. Children are a great pleasure in life, although, obviously they also provide challenges that can be difficult. Observing my children, I try to see how their childhoods impacted them; and I wonder how they might overcome certain patterns of thought and feeling imbedded in them by the unique circumstances of childhood.

As I write I'm reminded of L Ron Hubbard who speaks of clearing ourselves of the engrams which are programmed in our being and bodies by our life experiences. The process of dianetics and the religion of scientology is devoted to accomplishing this. Although I am not a student of scientology, it does seem that a fundamental idea of all spiritual, psychological, and religious teachings is this idea of cleansing, of giving up the past, of moving on, of being "born again," of letting go of those ways in which we have been programmed.

I think it's important not to judge our children or be disappointed with them. What is valuable is to continue to nurture, to see your children as clearly as possible, to help them with the difficult task of freeing themselves from the negative influences that have impacted them.

Each child is different and needs a different type of help. Some require space, others require a direct intervention. I don't feel it is appropriate for me to give others advice on what to do with their children. I do believe that we should not give up on them and that we should continue to improve our ability to see them clealry.

We are moving into a time and a world in which families are going to need to stick together, to work together, and to support each other more than ever. For many years we have been moving in the opposite direction. Families have become splintered, separated, and isolated from each other. Petty arguments and judgments have resulted in avoidance and disconnection.

We can't afford, financially and emotionally, to continue in these ways. We must learn to get along first with our families, and then move on from there to get along with each other. We must break down the barriers that separate us: religion, race, geography, political views, gender, and all the other imaginary ways that we classify and stereotype each other. This may seem a little idealistic, but the stakes are high, and the consequences are serious. We need to make progress each day in little ways until we reach the threshold where we will be creating a new world. We can start with our parents and children.